My Friends in Pain

12/31/2024

Resilient Faith: Strength for 2025

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego replied to him, “King Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you in this matter. If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.” – Daniel 3:16–18 (NIV)

I don’t know what 2024 was like for you. It may have been a great year soaring higher than ever before. It may have been one of the most challenging you’ve ever endured. No matter how you evaluate the flavor of the last year, reality would say that there were extremes: joy and pain. More likely, Charles Dickens was right: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times … it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair.”

If your year was filled with blessing and answered prayer, there’s every reason to choose gratitude. If your year was filled with pain, grief, a difficult diagnosis, or perhaps just no answers to a pesky headache that won’t go away no matter the doctors have tried, there is still hope and there are many reasons to choose gratitude.

Let’s try this one: You’re still here – you’ve endured when you felt like giving up.

On the Sunday before Christmas, I walked our church through the darkest part of the Christmas story where Herod ordered the murder of the baby boys of Bethlehem. It raises some of the hardest questions humanity might ask about evil, suffering, and the role of God in this world. I reminded us that light will indeed triumph one day over darkness. God saved his Son in Bethlehem from the murderous plans of Herod so that one day God’s Son would die outside Jerusalem to end evil, suffering, sin, and death forever.

While we live between what God has started and what God will one day finish, light triumphs over darkness in even the smallest steps of faith. In fact, light triumphs over darkness every time I choose faith in Jesus when it would be easier not to. Every time I choose confidence over uncertainty, belief over doubt, trust over suspicion, and hope over cynicism.

Your faith and mine might look different in changing contexts. For some of us, faith looks like trusting God enough to begin again in 2025. Maybe for you, faith looks like trusting Jesus for forgiveness and salvation for the very first time. For others, faith looks like taking one step forward because it’s too overwhelming to focus on anything else. Faith can also look like faithfulness in moments where we might say like Daniel’s three friends facing the fiery furnace, “I’ll be faithful even if God doesn’t deliver me.” Often, faith looks like abiding, resilient trust in Jesus no matter the circumstances we face.

I don’t know about you, but I need to be stronger in 2025. I’ve taught before in Letters to My Friends in Pain that there are Five Choices for a More Resilient Life:

A Clear Identity as God’s Loved Child

A Clear Why – Embracing God’s Plan for Your Life Despite the Pain

A Clear Source of Strength Found in Your Walk with Jesus

A Clear Support Network – Real Community with Vulnerability, Trust, Belonging, and Care

A Clear Path Forward – Taking the Right Next Step.

Pain is very real, but your life does not have to be defined by your pain, grief, or greatest suffering. Your year ahead can be a year of tenacious faith that leans in during hard times to wait for what Jesus does next.

If you have questions, I’d love to help.

To purchase Letters to My Friends in Pain: https://a.co/d/6JIjmEa

11/29/2024

Someone you know is struggling this Christmas season. Give a gift of comfort, strength, and hope for only $14.87.

Letters to My Friends in Pain: Pain Sucks, But Life Doesn't Have To

10/08/2024

There's a lot of people hurting right now. Maybe you know someone who is hurting, or someone who helps those who are hurting? My book will help and is on sale on Amazon for $14.87 for Prime Day: https://a.co/d/acm20HH

09/20/2024

To my friend facing the impossible,

Grit. Resilience. Tenacity. Endurance. Resolve. Call it what you want. We all want it. They all sound like the same thing, yet these are slightly different aspects of something we all desire: the ability to keep going in the face of adversity.

You’ve lived long enough to know that life itself is filled with hardship, illness, difficulty, and adversity. Sure, life is comfortable for some of us, but more than not, comfortability is a mirage, an illusion, or maybe a season. We might be comfortable for a season, but rarely does the comfortable life last.

Truly, there is no living without hardship. No year without sickness. No project without difficulty. And no dreams achieved without adversity. At the end of the day, anything worth doing will face stress-inducing difficulty that you must overcome.

Here’s the thing. Some of us feel like we have what it takes in ourselves to overcome. Others know that we do not have what it takes in ourselves to overcome. And a lot of us just “fake it till we make it.”

If, like me, you realize that life throws more at you than you have the strength to overcome, I want to show you how our imperfect faith in Jesus helps us build grit and resilience.

Simply put, grit is determination, a firmness of character that will not give up. On the other hand, resilience is the ability to bounce back, to recover and go forward no what adversity you face. Neither of those words describe who I am on my own.

The Bible points us to admit our fragility and look to Jesus.

2 Corinthians 12:9–10
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Philippians 4:13
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Hebrews 12:1–3
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

The Bible not only implies but clearly states that you and I will feel weak, lose heart, grow weary, and struggle to persevere.

To be honest, what we want is to not feel weak, not lose heart, and not grow weary. We turn to Jesus wanting Jesus to make us “feel strong.” Can we be honest with each other? I almost never feel strong when I’m relying on Jesus for strength. Why? Because my human nature is to depend upon myself alone when I “feel strong.” That’s the comfortability thing.

Unfortunately, there’s a lot of shame, in our culture and even in the church, about weakness. Our world rewards winners, success, fame, strength and even busyness. When asked about how we are really doing, we mumble something about “being ok” at best, thinking “never let them see your weakness.”

An honest question: Is there any hope for us to develop resilience, become stronger, and develop the muscle of endurance? Yes, but it comes down to faith in a God who is strong when I am not.

Hebrews 12 urges us to fix our eyes on Jesus. What do I see when I look at Jesus? The author and finisher of my faith. The Son-of-God-in-the-Flesh who endured more on the cross than I will ever completely comprehend.

Now imagine this. He isn’t just your example. He’s your God. He’s the G.O.A.T. of endurance and perseverance. And He’s willing to not only forgive your sins (thank you Jesus) but also live within you to coach you, train you, and at the end of the day, be the very source of strength you need. He’s there to pick you up when you fail to keep you going. He’s there to comfort your fear when the diagnosis is cancer. He’s there to walk with you through the journeys of trauma, grief, and recovery. And He’s still good when you’re facing a future you would have never imagined.

If you have a better alternative, I’m truly curious what that would be. To be honest, long ago my own difficulties pressed me to look for a resilient and gritty resolve not rooted in this world.

I wrote about my journey in the book ‘Letters to My Friends in Pain.” I share my own difficulties as well as a Perseverance Revolution – Five Mindset Changes that Bring Strength to our Souls. Available on Amazon: https://a.co/d/dEvFYJ6

I’m not saying look at me. I’m no hero. I’m saying look at Jesus. Resilient souls are born from vulnerable and fragile faith that keeps looking up.

When you’re tempted to believe that you’re too weak, that the circumstances are too impossible, that you feel like too much a failure, and that you are too messed up for Jesus to really help, remember that He will never grow weary and lose heart.

You are why He came,
Brian

Letters to My Friends in Pain: Pain Sucks, But Life Doesn't Have To

09/10/2024

Today is World Su***de Prevention Day. Someone you know is struggling. We all can help. Here's a free chapter from my book, Letters to My Friends in Pain (available on Amazon - https://a.co/d/15eEQfI).

Reach out to someone today.
***dePreventionDay

Call 988 (similar to 911) or online at www.988lifeline.org
NOTE: If you, or someone you know, is considering su***de, please reach out for help, which can be found by calling the National Su***de and Crisis Lifeline: 988

To my friend who is thinking about su***de,

When you asked to meet, I didn’t know what to expect. You said, “I’ve been thinking seriously about su***de. Life has become too much pressure and offers too many choices and an overwhelming amount of stress and sadness that I’m not sure how to handle.” I cried. You cried. I was so taken with emotion I’m not sure exactly what we talked about in the rest of that conversation. But I can say I’m deeply thankful you reached out.

I’m heartbroken for you. Let me start with what I won’t do.
• I won’t tell you that your pain isn’t real. It is.
• I won’t tell you that I can fix everything. I can’t.
• I won’t tell you that faith in God makes pain and depression go away. That would be a lie.

Being a Christian does not make you immune to pain, despair, or depression any more than it makes you immune to disease or physical death.

Do Christians struggle with despair? Yes. Next time you open the Bible, read it for emotion. Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet. Paul admitted he was in despair. Depression is clear in many of the Psalms. Job was an emotional wreck, and rightly so.
It’s OK to not be OK. It’s OK to feel like you are at the end of your strength.

I want to gently remind you that you are loved and cared about. I want you to know that there is someone who will help you process your pain and discover that there is something greater in your life than pain. No matter how strong something inside of you is screaming that nobody cares, and nobody loves you, that’s just not true. There is someone who will listen. If you cannot think of one safe family member or friend who will listen right now, please call 988—the National Su***de and Crisis Lifeline.

As a person who believes in Jesus, I want you to know that Jesus will always listen, but for now, I want you to have a real flesh and blood person to talk to. Isolation convinces us that no one listens, and no one cares. That’s just not true.

Here are a couple of verses in the Bible that really help me remember that I am not the only one to feel despair about life.

"We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt we had received the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."
—2 Corinthians 1:8-9

While I don’t think Paul is saying he was suicidal, I do think he was saying that he needed help from God to save his life. He said he despaired of life itself. The word despair means to completely fall apart, to lose it emotionally, or to be in difficulty, doubt, and embarrassment. I do find in this simple couple of verses the help and hope we need.

He felt great pressure far beyond his ability to endure. That probably sounds familiar to you. Su***de is tempting when…
• Our pain is high, and our strength is low.
• Our problems are big, and our hearts are empty.
• Life feels shaken beyond our capacity to handle.
• The troubles outweigh the good we had planned.
• The pressures outweigh our ability to endure.
• The despair outweighs the reasons to live.
• The troubles of the moment outweigh our strength in the moment.
• The consequences outweigh our ability to face them.

Su***de sometimes seems like the only way out of pain and is often about escaping pain. Su***de, more than not, is an escape from current pain (our problems) or future pain (consequences or pain that is coming). It’s a heavy juxtaposition in the mind, a wrong supposition that our only hope is to abandon hope and take our own life. There are several examples of this in the Bible, including Saul in the Old Testament and Judas in the New Testament.
Yes, su***de can be about ending pain. But it is also about taking control of something—pain—that we cannot control. I’m begging you to take control of your pain in a healthier way.

Here’s what I really want you to know:

It’s healthy to be honest enough with myself to admit to myself that I need to reach for help beyond myself.

It’s healthy to admit that I need help from outside of me. Do this as soon as possible. Sooner is better than later. It’s beneficial to come to the place where I admit that I do not have strength and that I need help from someone else, whether Jesus or another human being.

When you break it down, there are three aspects to this:
• A perspective—be completely honest with myself.
• A decision—to admit to myself.
• An action—I need to reach for help beyond myself.

There are some in the Christian community who imply, or even directly state, that you need help from God and that other people are not necessary. While I agree that help from Jesus is good, needed, and always available, help from another human being is necessary now.

Anyone who wants you to believe that to be a person of faith, it all must be between you and God and not involve doctors, therapists, counselors, pastors, friends, and family members is not giving you good advice. Whether the person’s intentions are good or not, telling someone who is considering su***de that they should pray, and trust God alone is not enough. Telling a person that you will pray for them and trust God for them is not enough.

Right now, if you are tempted to end your own life, you need compassion in human form. You need someone who will listen. You need someone to see and enter your pain, and advocate for your life, because you feel too empty to advocate for your own life. You need to reach out and open up to someone who can do what 2 Corinthians 1:8-9 is talking about—bring you back to life.

There’s nothing wrong with praying. I would encourage you to do that. In fact, if you have the strength, take out a paper and pen and write a note to Jesus right now. I think you will find it helpful. But if you don’t believe in God, or you don’t have the strength, I would encourage you to reach out to someone safe. Someone who will walk with you and advocate for you.

If you are still thinking of su***de, I want you to know:
1. There is someone who cares.
Someone with real flesh and blood in your life who cares enough to hold onto your life and not let go. Someone who will stay with you until you get the help you need. Someone who will reach out for help on your behalf if you cannot reach out yourself. Someone who will make a life-and-death difference.

2. There is someone whose primary skill is listening who can help.
I am talking about counselors and therapists. They have training and tools to help. If you need someone right now, and there is nowhere else to turn, walk into an emergency room. Help will be made available. Therapists can help you develop a safety plan and give you tools and training with healthy coping mechanisms. They will listen and provide comfort. They will help you develop a plan for safety rather than a plan for death. They will help you understand your feelings, find beauty, and develop strength. They will help you learn healthy coping skills so that you have options when life is overwhelming.

3. There is someone who can help you embrace your beautiful but broken life.
Yes, our lives are broken. Sometimes, life is brutal. But that does not mean that your life isn’t beautiful. You matter. Your life matters. And despite all the pain you feel right now, your life can be beautiful again.

At some level, I’m going to suggest that Jesus can do all these. Jesus is full of compassion, and I believe that Jesus sees su***de and thoughts of su***de as a tragedy. Jesus always cares. Jesus will always listen. Jesus will strengthen you. Jesus will help you cope. Jesus will help you embrace your broken but beautiful life. Yes, Jesus is the giver and restorer of life. Jesus can bring us back to the idea of living rather than dying. Jesus stands lovingly, compassionately, willingly able to help. But, right now, I want you to have flesh and blood people in the here and now who can do that for you.

So, right now, I want you to reach out to someone who stands ready to help.

I would caution any church that would say, “a person should rely on God alone for help.” We are never told in the Bible that relying on God means never relying on other human beings. Rather, we are told that we are created for community, that we are to love one another, comfort one another, and encourage one another. Biblically, the bottom line is we need each other in times where when life is overwhelming.

Pain sucks, but you’re not alone. Many of us are here to help.

Your life matters,
Pastor Brian

P.S. Here are some questions everyone wonders about su***de but are afraid to ask.

1. Is su***de a sin?
This is a very common but difficult question. As hard as it is to think about, su***de is murder. Self-murder.

2. Is su***de forgivable? Is it unpardonable? Does su***de mean a person is not a Christian?
This is just like asking, “Is sin forgivable?” Yes. Absolutely. It’s why Jesus died. Is it pardonable? Absolutely. Is it hard for us to work through forgiveness when someone we love commits su***de because there’s a lot of pain involved? Yes. No doubt. But is su***de forgivable? Yes.

3. What does God think of su***de?
Just as I wrote in this letter, I believe that God will always see su***de as a tragedy. Jesus is compassionate. The enemy longs for death, but Jesus is the giver and restorer of life. Jesus roots for life. Jesus brings life. Jesus will always bring compassion, grace, truth, love, life, and His Spirit to any sinner who reaches out for help. He is the way, the truth, and the life.

A Prayer for You:
Dear Jesus,
Thank you that you are with me. I’m asking right now, as clearly as I can, that you bring me back to life, back to living, and back to the strength to go on. Let me see that there is hope. Whatever it is that I want to escape, help me see that escape is not the answer. Please give me the strength to reach out to someone right now. To another human being. Put their name in my head. Please use them to save my life. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

07/19/2024

We are stronger together. Let's draw strength from our shared beliefs and hopes. Who can you reach out to today?

07/12/2024

182 Days

It has been six months since the release of Letters to My Friends in Pain. Thanks to everyone for reading and sharing. Since its release, we’ve sold or given away over 550 copies of the book. Over 500 people who are finding strength, perseverance, and resilience.
I’ve heard great feedback from several people. One man I had never met emailed that “he felt understood” for the first time. Another asked for permission to teach the material to two churches in Pennsylvania. My sister-in-law reminds me that it is an evergreen book – a book that people will come back to over and over again. A church friend told me that they try to have one with them all the time to give to others who need encouragement in their pain. All I know to say is I’m overwhelmed with gratitude.

What’s Next for Letters to My Friends in Pain?
We’re releasing a Bible Study Guide for small groups, individuals, and churches that want to work on developing resilience and perseverance from a biblical perspective. Please let me know if you are interested. Also, many of you have mentioned that you are interested in the material, but you don’t really like to read books. I get that. Many Americans don’t. When I can raise the funds, I’d like to go into a studio and record an audio version of the book.

How Can You Help?
Self-publishing is a lot like opening a mom-and-pop restaurant. I wear most of the hats. Getting word out about the book is the most important thing you can do to help.

If you know someone who would be interested in having me guest post on their blog or be a guest on their podcast, I’d be glad to talk to them about how I can help.

Would you consider giving the book as an investment in someone you know? I have a friend who buys 5 or 10 at a time to be able to share with others. It’s a great book to give your pastor, your Bible study leader, or your counselor. It could be tremendously beneficial to someone in recovery from addiction. And if you know someone struggling with grief, hurt, regret, or depression, it’s a great investment in someone you care about. Helping others is a team endeavor and I’m thankful that you are on the team.

Next Week
Next week is Amazon Prime Day on July 16th and 17th. Letters to My Friends in Pain is already on sale on Amazon for $17.47. Not much for an investment that can help someone know that Jesus understands their pain and wants to help them build resilience and perseverance.

Brian

Letters to My Friends in Pain: Pain Sucks, But Life Doesn't Have To

06/27/2024

The grammar isn't perfect, but the faith of a child is enough. I write extensively to people who are suffering. If only more of us could grasp this concept, I'm convinced it would change our perspective and help us find real strength to face our day. If I can help, let me know.

06/05/2024

My Friend Whose Normal isn’t Working

Can I let you in on a secret?
If you ask most of us how we are doing with pain, the likely answer is “not well.” We’re pretty good at keeping our suffering hidden, especially in the Church.

Here’s the truth: Life does not give us a choice between pain or no pain. The choice we have is pity or perseverance.

Let’s think about what’s normal.
When we are in pain, we want the fastest way out of it. We choose escape.

Those escapes are often not healthy, or at least represent something that could be good but is out of control in our lives.

To justify our escapes, we sell ourselves lies to make us feel better. Trapped by our escapes and illusions, we often feel stuck, and we refuse healthy choices that confront our pain. Sound familiar yet?

Feeling stuck in pain, lies, and just plain lack of inertia, we often pull back from those we love and need the most. We choose to hide our pain, leaving us with a feeling that no one understands.

Feeling deeply alone, we determine we can’t rely on others for help, and we pursue a way out relying only on our own strength . . . which quickly runs dry, leaving us feeling even more alone and even more pain.

Escape. Lies. Stuck. Alone. Self-sufficient.
This is exactly how addiction is born and blossoms in our life. With enough trips like this around the sun, we lose hope, driving us deeper into the desire for escape. This cycle is normal for most people. I call it The Pity Vortex in Letters to My Friends in Pain.

There has to be a better way to live. Pain makes some of us refuse to believe there is a God. For others, our pain makes us believe that God must not care. Our pain can drive us away from belief in God or our pain can act as a personal Uber driver to drop us at Jesus’ doorstep.

Here’s a bit of the model I work from:
Every single day of my life is a choice between pity and perseverance. I build my life on the best foundation when I lean into my identity as God’s loved child. My perspective about life is healthier when I lean into the goodness Jesus provides even while I’m in pain. I’m stronger when leaning on Jesus rather than leaning on myself. I’m more resilient in the connectedness of community. And I’m mentally tougher when I’m moving forward in healthy ways.

I think I forgot to mention. This isn’t theoretical for me.
Eight years ago, I nearly lost my ability to walk. And for the last 2 years, I’ve lived with a chronic headache that varies in intensity but will not go away. Pain, of course, is more than physical, but my pain has been a constant companion for the last few years. Yet there is a path to hope, strength, and perseverance. I’m not the point. Jesus is.

In Letters to My Friends in Pain, I’ll take us on a journey through five shifts to our mindset that determine the difference between pity and perseverance. It’s a journey I would love for you to take with me and some of my friends in pain. I’m not promising I can remove the pain in your life, but I am pointing us to the One who will one day end pain, suffering, sin, grief, and death – forever.

You are not alone,
Brian
[email protected]
https://substack.com/
https://a.co/d/dcRRMbJ - purchase on Amazon

05/29/2024

Five Friends Who Might Need Letters to My Friends in Pain

1. My friend who is hurting. Pain comes in many forms – grief, depression, regret, …
2. My friend who is an addict.
3. The person who helped me through pain. Appreciation is meaningful.
4. My Pastor – who helps a lot of people find Jesus in their pain.
5. My Therapist – who needs more tools to help clients understand where God is in their grief and suffering.

Who else can you think of? 'Letters' is on sale for the next few days.
https://a.co/d/iU486ku

05/20/2024

Mental Health Awareness Month – For 75 years, May has been observed as Mental Health Awareness Month. It’s important to me to recognize that believing in God is no “get out of jail free” card for anyone struggling with mental health. And at some point in our lives, all of us will suffer to some degree.

Every single person you know is suffering pain you likely know nothing about. In honor of those I know who are struggling today, I want to recommend a couple of resources I am currently reading.

And I want to offer you a discount on 'Letters to My Friends in Pain'. I’ve had a couple of therapists recommend the book. Maybe you know a therapist to whom you would like to gift the book to as a resource?

In honor of all of us who are struggling, ‘Letters’ is on sale at $16.47 on Amazon.

Here are two books I’m reading that help us understand our common struggle with our hearts and minds.

1. Alan Noble’s “On Getting Out of Bed.” An excellent and honest resource for anyone who struggles with the burden of living.

Quote:
“The most fundamental decision is the decision to get out of bed. And it too communicates something. The decision to get out of bed is the decision to live. It is a claim that life is worth living despite the risk and uncertainty and the inevitability of suffering – one of the few things we can know for certain in this life.

Rising out of bed each day is also a decisive act. Living is a wager. It is a severe gamble. You do not know the suffering and sorrow that awaits. You do not know the heartache. But you know it is coming for you: to that, history and literature have testified without counterclaim. To choose to go on is to proclaim with your life, and at the risk of tremendous suffering, that it is good. Even when it is hard, it is good. Even when you don’t feel that it is good, even when that goodness is unimaginable, it is good.

When we act on that goodness by rising out of bed, when we take that step to the block in radical defiance of suffering and our own anxiety and depression and hopelessness, with our heads held high, we honor God and His creation, and we testify to our family, to our neighbors, and to our friends of His goodness. This act is worship.”

2. John Andrew Bryant’s “A Quiet Mind to Suffer With.” This is not a light, casual, or easy read, but it is a deep dive into one person’s journey to find life in Christ as he struggles with what is wrong with his mind.

Quote:
“And I count that patient, quiet understanding – that hard kernel of patient quiet trust – as more deeply bought and more vigilantly guarded than anything else in my life. It has been more precious to me than better thoughts, and better feelings. I make my way through the Wilderness of what can be thought and what can be felt as that patient, quiet understanding, a sojourner in the Wilderness of experiences created by my mind.

It has also, at times, felt like being a small, unsinkable boat in a great storm. A storm no one else can see because it is, as they say, all in your head.

That understanding, that small boat, that hard kernel of patient, quiet trust has a uniquely religious valence. It is the patient, quiet trust I have in Christ. It is the patient, quiet understanding of who Christ is. A capacity to quietly hand myself over to who I know Christ to be and to know I am okay.

This is not, of course, what I wanted. What I wanted was better thoughts and better feelings The absence of Suffering. I wanted my brain to provide better experiences. And what I got was a better understanding of who Christ is and who I am; where I’m headed and what I’m supposed to be doing.”

Another quote:

“Calling this illness What’s Wrong may sound like a harsh way of putting it. But calling it that has been a tenderness toward myself. When the Siren (his mental illness) is a god, then I’m afraid of it. When it is a Bully, I have to fight it. When it’s What’s Wrong, then it’s just a vulnerability I take care of. I go from being mad at my brain to wanting to take care of it because it’s sick and because it’s mine. I go from fighting and hiding it to quietly, patiently leading it. I can offer myself to the brain that I have rather than hate my brain for not being what I wanted.”

In 'Letters to My Friends in Pain', I’ve done my best to acknowledge that our struggles and suffering should be an honest part of our conversations. I’d like to help normalize the idea that all people suffer – Christians included. To be human is to suffer. As a Christian, it’s not wrong to want to be free from suffering, but life is found, not in escaping my pain and not in denying that I suffer at all, but in embracing my broken, even brutal, life with Jesus. After all, He knows something about honoring God through suffering.