Coffee Talk With Brandy

03/14/2025

03/11/2025

Take me back to the 20's!! 1920's that is 💛

02/04/2025

The human brain is wired for connection and relationship. You were never supposed to learn to be alone with pain and stress. Needing emotional support and safety isn't something wrong with you. It is the sign of something deeply right with you. ~Gabor Mate
At 5 years old, I was outside exploring the world early one morning. We lived in the country in Montana in the middle of nowhere. For the most part, it was pretty safe, except wildlife.
It wasn't long before a rattlesnake approached me and started encircling me. I started crying out of stress, duress, and uncertainty if this creature was going to hurt me. I began yelling for my mom, but instead of her coming to my rescue, she told me to come home yelling from her upstairs bedroom window.

She didn't realize I was in danger but that 5 yr old little girl didn't learn that my mom didn't come get me because she didn't realize the situation, that little 5 yr old girls survivalist brain learned that in the face of danger no one will be there to help me.
Many of us have experiences as children that taught us we must be alone in our pain, stress, or duress. We learned from a young age that no one will be there for us. As adults, if we don't spend time understanding our own stoic behavior, we can become more isolated and alone even if we actually want and need someone to lean on.
Why is so hard for many of us to ask for help? This. Right here. We learned that no one was there.
Needing emotional support and safety is a human need. Leaning into vulnerability can be difficult, but it's the way to reconnect to self and to others.

02/04/2025

I can only speak from my own experiences, but when I started to live my life intentionally, it wasn't easy. The complex feelings that arose were uncomfortable and scary. I was challenging everything I'd ever known.

It's not easy to lean into the pain and fears that keep us small and insecure.

Our subconscious is in the drivers seat full time. It knows every detail about us and isn't exactly forth coming and transparent. We have to work to understand our subconscious.

Our subconscious has stored all memories and experiences just like our body.

The subconscious and nervous system aligns to keep us safe and assists us in surviving, but what kept us safe as a child no longer keeps us safe as an adult. It keeps us small and on autopilot. Living life intentionally means we've reconnected with our subconscious and our body to assist in the realignment in the present moment.

It takes courage, work, and patience with ourselves. It takes safety, love, empathy, and kindness.

10/28/2024

What if collectively we learned how to cultivate critical thinking?

To develop critical thinking skills, you can:

1. **Question Assumptions:** Challenge your own and others' assumptions and seek evidence before accepting ideas.

2. **Practice Curiosity:** Cultivate a curious mindset, asking questions and seeking a deeper understanding of concepts.

3. **Diversify Perspectives:** Consider different viewpoints and approaches to issues to gain a more comprehensive understanding.

4. **Evaluate Information:** Assess the reliability and credibility of information sources before accepting them as valid.

5. **Reflect on Your Thinking:** Regularly reflect on your thoughts, decisions, and problem-solving processes to identify areas for improvement.

6. **Engage in Discussions:** Participate in discussions and debates to practice articulating and defending your ideas while being open to others' viewpoints.

7. **Read Widely:** Explore various subjects and genres to expose yourself to different ideas and modes of thinking.

8. **Solve Problems:** Actively engage in problem-solving activities, breaking down complex issues into manageable parts.

9. **Develop Analytical Skills:** Strengthen your ability to analyze information by breaking it down into its components and understanding the relationships between them.

10. **Seek Feedback:** Encourage feedback on your thoughts and decisions to gain insights into potential biases or overlooked aspects.

Our world would shift.....

10/27/2024

When you're drawn towards a person because there's something about them that moves your soul- like their openness or their calmness or the way their eyes sparkle when they talk about something they love- it's because those qualities have awakened the same qualities inside you. Why else would your soul be pulled towards them? It's a recognition , a remembering, an awakening of the parts that are sleeping inside you. They just need to be called upon, embraced, and brought into the light.
Become aware that whatever you see in others is always reflecting that which is inside you because it will help you let go of the traits you dislike and nurture the ones you want to stay. It will help you grow into the person you deserve to become.

Bloom For Yourself II: Let Go And Grow, April Green

What you love or hate about someone else is a reflection of yourself. Learning to turn inwards and asking ourselves, "What is it about this person I love or appreciate so much," can lead us to understanding ourselves. The people we are drawn can assist us with self-discovery and healing.

10/27/2024

https://seenandgreen.com/coffee-conversations-and-confidence-by-brandy-dawn/

10/20/2024

https://a.co/d/g4dTqKv link to my book

Coffee, Conversations, and Confidence: Stories of Love, Lust, Heartbreak, and Growth

10/19/2024

We learn in our childhood how to communicate. If we grew up in homes where we didn't feel seen, heard, accepted, or loved, we may have adapted survival strategies in order to deal with the environment.

Sometimes that looks like shutting down or suppressing our emotions, which increases challenging behaviors.

We might have learned to become passive, passive-aggressive, or aggressive. We might have learned to get our needs met in maladaptive ways.

As an adult behaviors will still increase when we don't know how to use our words.

Addictions, aggression, yelling, screaming, withholding.... All of these behaviors have unmet needs at the core.

If we learn to come to situations with empathy and curiosity we can create safe spaces for others to begin to feel seen and heard.