09/04/2024
Some of you need to stop dealing with people who claim to love you but donât actually like you.
The difference between "like" and "love" is often overlooked, yet it plays a critical role in the foundation of any lasting relationship, especially in marriage.
Many people find themselves entangled in relationships where they are lovedâor at least told they are lovedâbut are not genuinely liked. This may seem like a minor issue, but itâs actually a significant red flag. Without a foundation of mutual liking, the love one person professes may be superficial or even conditional.
"Like" involves a deep appreciation for who the other person is at their coreâtheir personality, quirks, values, and even their flaws. It means enjoying their company, respecting their opinions, and cherishing the time spent together.
When someone truly likes you, they take joy in the small, everyday moments with you. Theyâre not waiting for you to take them to a five-star restaurant and waste money when they donât even share the feelings you have for them. Theyâre perfectly content taking a walk in the park with you or doing something within your budget as long as they get to spend those moment with you.
They are genuinely interested in your thoughts and value your perspective. This creates a sense of comfort and security that is crucial in any relationship, but especially in marriage.
They donât wait for you to work yourself to death, cleaning the home alone or cooking when youâre exhausted. They donât hide their money and expect you to get three jobs to pay the bills just to keep them happy. They do whatever they can to ensure you donât struggle.
On the other hand, love without like can be problematic. When someone claims to love you but doesnât actually like you, their love may be based on infatuation, physical attraction, or the idea of who they think you should be, rather than who you truly are.
Because they donât even understand what love means in its entirety, they only care about what they stand to gain from you, thinking love is just a feeling unlike anything they've felt before.
This kind of love is shallow and fleeting, easily swayed by external circumstances or personal desires. It lacks the depth and resilience needed to weather the inevitable challenges of life together.
However, itâs important to recognize that love, as highlighted in the Bible, remains the greatest virtue. In 1 Corinthians 13:13, it is written, "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love." But for love to truly be the greatest, it must be love in its entiretyânot just an emotion or a fleeting feeling, but a deep, committed, and unconditional love.
This kind of love, the love that God intended, is more than just a feeling; it is an action, a choice, and a commitment. It is patient, kind, and enduring. It is a love that is willing to sacrifice, to bear all things, and to endure through the trials of life. It is love with a foundation of God and likeness for the other person.
In contrast, love that is not grounded in God and âlikeâ may fail to meet this biblical standard. If someone doesnât truly like youâif they donât appreciate who you are, enjoy your company, or respect your individualityâtheir love may lack substance. It may not be the kind of love that endures through hardships or reflects the selfless, sacrificial love that God calls us to have.
Choosing a spouse based on both like and love is crucial. Itâs easy to be swept up in the emotions of love, especially in the early stages of a relationship. But if that love isnât grounded in a genuine liking of who the other person is, it can quickly fade when challenges arise.
In marriage, you need more than just the butterflies of early loveâyou need the steady, comforting presence of a person who truly likes you for who you are, someone who will stand by your side through thick and thin.
To build a marriage that lasts, you must prioritize like alongside love. Seek out someone who not only loves you but also enjoys you, respects you, and genuinely likes the person you are.
This is the person who will love you the way God intended, with a love that is patient, kind, and enduring. When love is grounded in true like, it becomes the full expression of what God intendedâtwo becoming one, united in both love and friendship.
The truth is that most people just love you because it's a command or an emotion, they dont really like you.
Cheers,
Profit Eneh
Relationship Coach