01/05/2021
Story Time: ✨ My oldest has a lot to give and often feels strong emotions of joy and excitement as-well-as sadness, tired and anger...she’s 4. I have two daughters full of sprit and often seek books that emphasize tools to promote self care. Identifying emotions and surrounding is important and has become a larger topic in my household lately.
The new conversation swirling around my house is that my daughter had a seizure a few weeks ago - her second. We are scheduled with a neurologist and only time will tell where our journey takes us but for me, one thing is clear, no matter the outcome my daughter is more likely to have another.
Her first occurred during a high energy moment of disappointment mixed with being overly tired. It was late at night... she should have been in bed but we were enjoying a late night movie. The movie ended and bedtime had come but she was upset the television was being turned off.
-Standard - Nothing major - ..and then it just. Happened
It hasn’t been long but ever since that day I get worried. Worried if she will have a second, and then she did...Worried if she has a standard 4 year old meltdown that she might have another, worried if I yell at her and she gets upset that she will have another. Worried...just worried.
Before any of this happened we were already in the practice of identifying and guiding our emotions...the good, bad and in-between. Reading about self awareness and how to come down from big feelings through acknowledgment followed by expanded conversation when needed.
- RED RED RED caught my eye in previous recommendations but I questioned if the imagery might be too intense, but then I was like
- Wait, she can be intense..... I can be intense.
So, I got the book and we starting pulling it out during fits. That transitioned to saying red, red, red when appropriate which caught her attention and made her more aware of herself. It doesn’t always stop the meltdown but once led to her yelling, “I’m not RED, I’m BLUE!” I loved that response too. She identified her emotion and corrected my perception of anger to understand and communicate that she was sad.
..Jump to the other night...
My daughter was getting disappointed (in what felt like an irrational way) because I turned PJ Masks off. It was time for our bedtime routine and she started to get upset and request one more show.
- I said No, she got mad, I got worried...
Same scenario as her first seizure.
Do I have to worry every reluctant bedtime?
It seems silly, but it’s my truth.
- I Worry
No faster than she started, she looked at me and said it - Red, Red, Red...and I kid you not she started reciting the simple techniques in the book and I was beaming with light.
That led to an open conversation about her willingness to check in with herself even in times of overwhelming moments and rethink how she wants to act and feel. It was a beautiful moment, and I have obviously seen her calm down many times before but this one felt different. We have practiced counting and different techniques before but this time was different, something about this book resonated with her. Maybe it’s the simplicity of the teachings or maybe she connected with the illustrations to see that she can go from an intense circle of red to calm flowing hearts.
-Whatever it is, I’m here for it and happy to share it. Sure, my desire to regulate her “tantrums” might come from a different place than yours but one thing I know we all have in common is that we want our kids, nieces, nephews, grandkids and friends to know how to calm themselves down. It’s something we all need in our self-care tool kits.
I would be lying if I didn’t think 💭 Red, Red, Red to myself since reading this book.
https://g11137.myubam.com/p/8186/red-red-red
