ClarksburgNow

ClarksburgNow ClarksburgNow is a new, independent, and satire news website about Clarksville, TN.

Amid the state ban on chemtrails, a spokesperson for the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation assured th...
04/25/2024

Amid the state ban on chemtrails, a spokesperson for the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation assured the public that "Rain is still legal, but it will have to occur naturally—which means, well, we're not exactly sure how that will happen without clouds."

In an unforeseen legislative blunder, Tennessee lawmakers have passed a bill ostensibly aimed at combating the controver

A Clarksville local now has a priceless view of tomorrows eclipse thanks to an increase in black market organ prices.
04/08/2024

A Clarksville local now has a priceless view of tomorrows eclipse thanks to an increase in black market organ prices.

A Clarksville man has reportedly traded his left kidney for a coveted pair of eclipse glasses ahead of the much-anticipa

Local stores and distributors have started running out of bread and milk days before the next big winter storm arrives.
01/12/2024

Local stores and distributors have started running out of bread and milk days before the next big winter storm arrives.

As Clarksville braces for a week of bone-chilling cold, with temperatures plummeting to single digits and a roulette of

NASA held a press briefing and announced that the Whataburger had a queue of cars visible from the ISS during yesterday'...
10/29/2023

NASA held a press briefing and announced that the Whataburger had a queue of cars visible from the ISS during yesterday's lunch hour. City-wide hunger strikes continue as patrons are protesting long wait times.

In a culinary twist that is literally out of this world, a new Whataburger chain restaurant on Fire Station Road in Clar

ClarksburgNow confirms that Buc-ee's withdrew plans for a Clarksville location due to TDOTS concern for Gary the Guardra...
09/15/2023

ClarksburgNow confirms that Buc-ee's withdrew plans for a Clarksville location due to TDOTS concern for Gary the Guardrail.

A seemingly unremarkable guardrail off Exit 1 has single-handedly thwarted the grandiose expansion plans of Buc-ee's, th

The R. J. Coleman bridge is in deep water after being sued by the Cumberland River over water level markings.
08/14/2023

The R. J. Coleman bridge is in deep water after being sued by the Cumberland River over water level markings.

In an unforeseen legal move, the Cumberland River filed a lawsuit today against R. J. Coremans Rail Bridge, accusing it

The owner of LOCAL Clarksville, TN confirms their plans to advertise in low earth orbit to help customers connect with o...
07/09/2023

The owner of LOCAL Clarksville, TN confirms their plans to advertise in low earth orbit to help customers connect with our neighboring businesses.

LOCAL Clarksville, a popular marketing firm that highlights small businesses in our community, has announced its goal of

Here is the latest about CPD's crackdown on Tinted Drivers.
07/07/2023

Here is the latest about CPD's crackdown on Tinted Drivers.

After years of squinting through sun-glare and impenetrable darkness to peer into the mysteriously tinted windows of pas

A Clarksville Highschool Geography class teaches students about the rest of Tennessee, and more.
04/18/2023

A Clarksville Highschool Geography class teaches students about the rest of Tennessee, and more.

A local high school student, Billy-Joe Bob, was stunned to learn that not everyone in Tennessee is related to each other

A local cemetery hosted an Easter egg hunt over the weekend, where families found more than just eggs.
04/12/2023

A local cemetery hosted an Easter egg hunt over the weekend, where families found more than just eggs.

In a move that some might call daring and others might call macabre, a local cemetery recently hosted its first ever Eas

Local news agency takes the day off to enjoy the stormy weather.
04/05/2023

Local news agency takes the day off to enjoy the stormy weather.

The ClarksburgNow staff have announced that they will not be publishing an article today, and that they want to enjoy th

The latest trend in the Clarksville job market involve titles that attract young millennials with positions like "Direct...
04/03/2023

The latest trend in the Clarksville job market involve titles that attract young millennials with positions like "Director of Chill" and "Chief Inspiration Officer."

Employers in Clarksville are jumping on the latest trend in the workforce -

Spring is here and we are wheels deep in pothole season. Fortunately, a group of volunteer "pot heads" have committed to...
03/29/2023

Spring is here and we are wheels deep in pothole season. Fortunately, a group of volunteer "pot heads" have committed to keeping the state's roads safe while mechanics celebrate a surge in demand.

As spring arrives in Tennessee, so does one of the most beloved seasons of the year - pothole season! The time when road

A property manager in Clarksville is making headlines by turning Closets into Affordable Housing amid the residential cr...
03/27/2023

A property manager in Clarksville is making headlines by turning Closets into Affordable Housing amid the residential crisis.

A Clarksville property management company has announced plans to rent out their tenant’s closets as affordable housing

Clarksville's turn signal policy made it this years top pick for the "No-Blinker" award.
03/24/2023

Clarksville's turn signal policy made it this years top pick for the "No-Blinker" award.

No Blinkers, No problem! The bigger than small city of Clarksville, Tennessee has been named the winner of the coveted

ArtLink Clarksville hosted an "Invisible Art" competition that left judges unable to select a winner.
03/22/2023

ArtLink Clarksville hosted an "Invisible Art" competition that left judges unable to select a winner.

ArtLink's biennial “Invisible Art” Competition took a unique turn last weekend as artists from all over the region l

We have an up-to-date list of Pet Friendly Businesses in Clarksville to help you and your furry friends find your next n...
03/18/2023

We have an up-to-date list of Pet Friendly Businesses in Clarksville to help you and your furry friends find your next new adventure!

Pet owners in Clarksville can now enjoy more options than ever when bringing their furry companions out with them.

Clarksville officials have voted on the new transportation mandate and promised to work with families that can't afford ...
03/15/2023

Clarksville officials have voted on the new transportation mandate and promised to work with families that can't afford to purchase a Jeep.

Local authorities have declared that Jeeps are now the official and only mode of transportation allowed inside the city

The owner of a local business has answers about the mysterious lights seen flying over downtown at night.
03/13/2023

The owner of a local business has answers about the mysterious lights seen flying over downtown at night.

The residents of Clarksville have been left scratching their heads for weeks as they've been witnessing strange lights a

In addition to daylight savings - Clarksville residents will now have to adjust for a new time zone called "Clarksville ...
03/11/2023

In addition to daylight savings - Clarksville residents will now have to adjust for a new time zone called "Clarksville Time".

The city of Clarksville has announced that it will be introducing a brand new time zone known as

We got the inside scoop about the latest Clarksville pet craze - The sticky stick!
03/09/2023

We got the inside scoop about the latest Clarksville pet craze - The sticky stick!

Local entrepreneur Edward Skipper McGee has revolutionized the world of pet toys with his latest invention - the

A group of local residents were amazed to discover a natural phenomenon known as "wind"
03/09/2023

A group of local residents were amazed to discover a natural phenomenon known as "wind"

A local group of residents were left in awe last Friday as they witnessed a rare and mysterious natural phenomenon known

A local cheer leading team is accused of inciting an insurrection.
03/09/2023

A local cheer leading team is accused of inciting an insurrection.

A Clarksville University cheerleading team has been suspended indefinitely by the university following allegations of a

Despite playing Despacito over 100 times a night, this local DJ is still searching for his ticket to fame.
03/09/2023

Despite playing Despacito over 100 times a night, this local DJ is still searching for his ticket to fame.

In a shocking turn of events, a local DJ Known as

The police have hired Pandas to help take a bite out of crime.
03/09/2023

The police have hired Pandas to help take a bite out of crime.

In a move that has left many scratching their heads, the Clarksville Police Department has announced that it will be rep

The city is preparing to use medieval catapults to solve a modern traffic crisis.
03/09/2023

The city is preparing to use medieval catapults to solve a modern traffic crisis.

As a last resort to ease the city's traffic problems, local officials have announced plans to build a giant catapult to

Disney World announces move to Clarksville, TN
03/09/2023

Disney World announces move to Clarksville, TN

Disney World has announced their plans to move the entire theme park to the Cumberland River in Clarksville Tennessee -

Is Clarksville a real city? Not according to a team of local psychologists.
03/09/2023

Is Clarksville a real city?

Not according to a team of local psychologists.

A new study has found that Clarksville, Tennessee is actually just a figment of everyone's imagination. The s

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1 Cumberland Drive
Clarksville, TN
37040

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