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ClarksburgNow

ClarksburgNow is a new, independent, and satire news website about Clarksville, TN.

25/04/2024

Amid the state ban on chemtrails, a spokesperson for the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation assured the public that "Rain is still legal, but it will have to occur naturally—which means, well, we're not exactly sure how that will happen without clouds."

In an unforeseen legislative blunder, Tennessee lawmakers have passed a bill ostensibly aimed at combating the controver

08/04/2024

A Clarksville local now has a priceless view of tomorrows eclipse thanks to an increase in black market organ prices.

A Clarksville man has reportedly traded his left kidney for a coveted pair of eclipse glasses ahead of the much-anticipa

12/01/2024

Local stores and distributors have started running out of bread and milk days before the next big winter storm arrives.

As Clarksville braces for a week of bone-chilling cold, with temperatures plummeting to single digits and a roulette of

29/10/2023

NASA held a press briefing and announced that the Whataburger had a queue of cars visible from the ISS during yesterday's lunch hour. City-wide hunger strikes continue as patrons are protesting long wait times.

In a culinary twist that is literally out of this world, a new Whataburger chain restaurant on Fire Station Road in Clar

15/09/2023

ClarksburgNow confirms that Buc-ee's withdrew plans for a Clarksville location due to TDOTS concern for Gary the Guardrail.

A seemingly unremarkable guardrail off Exit 1 has single-handedly thwarted the grandiose expansion plans of Buc-ee's, th

14/08/2023

The R. J. Coleman bridge is in deep water after being sued by the Cumberland River over water level markings.

In an unforeseen legal move, the Cumberland River filed a lawsuit today against R. J. Coremans Rail Bridge, accusing it

09/07/2023

The owner of LOCAL Clarksville, TN confirms their plans to advertise in low earth orbit to help customers connect with our neighboring businesses.

LOCAL Clarksville, a popular marketing firm that highlights small businesses in our community, has announced its goal of

07/07/2023

Here is the latest about CPD's crackdown on Tinted Drivers.

After years of squinting through sun-glare and impenetrable darkness to peer into the mysteriously tinted windows of pas

18/04/2023

A Clarksville Highschool Geography class teaches students about the rest of Tennessee, and more.

A local high school student, Billy-Joe Bob, was stunned to learn that not everyone in Tennessee is related to each other

12/04/2023

A local cemetery hosted an Easter egg hunt over the weekend, where families found more than just eggs.

In a move that some might call daring and others might call macabre, a local cemetery recently hosted its first ever Eas

05/04/2023

Local news agency takes the day off to enjoy the stormy weather.

The ClarksburgNow staff have announced that they will not be publishing an article today, and that they want to enjoy th

03/04/2023

The latest trend in the Clarksville job market involve titles that attract young millennials with positions like "Director of Chill" and "Chief Inspiration Officer."

Employers in Clarksville are jumping on the latest trend in the workforce -

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