Heyjackass - Chicago Crime, Murder & Mayhem

05/27/2024

Shootings, homicides and other reported crimes for the first year in office for Brandon, Lori and Rahm (2nd term).

Homebase: https://heyjackass.com/
Chicago-themed merch & DNC-related crap: https://www.shopjackass.com/

04/25/2024

We couldn’t track down an official narrative for this incident, likely because the cops didn’t gun down a blossoming rocket scientist. However, it’s comforting to know that the Mayor said there’s a “strategic plan” in place to combat such thuggery, eventually.

Head over to our Substack where we’ve posted a short video of the incident from the first attempt to the second attempt a minute or so later. While you’re there, subscribe if you like.

A pod camera picked up an attempted robbery, not once but twice within two minutes, against the same guy.

03/08/2024

Is this thing on? It has been awhile since we posted here, but if getting blind drunk at 10 am in Wrigleyville and fighting police horses is your thing, then we have the t-shirt for you. Order today to ensure delivery before next weekend. Limited Run!

Check it out at https://www.shopjackass.com/product/st-pats-drunk-chalkie-t-shirt/90 or just https://www.shopjackass.com/

09/25/2023

The 3x rise in motor vehicle theft are simply "crimes of survival" committed by those attempting to get out of the food deserts and to the Whole Foods before closing time.

09/08/2023

Thanks to everyone who kept this summer mostly peaceful, free of demonization, car battery explosions to a minimum, were able to climb over the blue wall of segregation, were slow to act, refrained from mob actions, silly decisions and large gatherings to make it slightly more joyful than others of recent vintage.

08/16/2023

The only thing outpacing the selfies these first 90 full days are the shots fired and redefining of crime-related words and terminology.

08/03/2023

After posting some greater-than-1990s July tallies in recent years a below average, sub-60 monthly homicide count is non-demonizable and likely even acceptable.

07/18/2023

This past Saturday marked Day 60 of the Brandon era. Time flies almost as fast as the lead.

Background photo via (at)briancassella on Twitter.

07/05/2023

The extended weekend provided ample opportunities for a lead slug to declare its independence from its brass casing oppressor.

06/01/2023

OG Lightfoot and Lightfoot v2.0 split responsibilities as the reigns of stupidity were peacefully handed over mid-month. While OG wrapped up her tenure with over 15k shot, v2.0 got off to a strong start with a notably violent, stress mishandling Memorial Day weekend.

May 2023: 65 killed, 274 wounded
May 2022: 66 killed, 290 wounded
May 2021: 70 killed, 333 wounded
May 2020: 85 killed, 314 wounded
May 2019: 57 killed, 202 wounded
May 2018: 54 killed, 265 wounded
May 2017: 59 killed, 269 wounded
May 2016: 69 killed, 339 wounded
May 2015: 50 killed, 281 wounded
May 2014: 47 killed, 230 wounded
Avg May: 62 killed, 280 wounded

Side not: If you've made it this far, we ask that you do not share or engage on this post. We're running an experiment to see how engagement works (or most likely doesn't) on this platform. Thanks!

05/31/2023

Day two of the Summer of Joy 2 without a homicide but with an additional 12 wounded.

05/30/2023

There was adequate "mishandling the stress" this Memorial Day weekend despite the Peacekeepers best efforts to further escalate and increase conflict all while in on the grift.

Final Demonized Tally: 12 killed, 49 wounded
2022 Memorial Day tally: 12 killed, 43 wounded
2021 Memorial Day tally: 4 killed, 38 wounded
2020 Memorial Day tally: 10 killed, 43 wounded
2019 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 35 wounded
2018 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 31 wounded
2017 Memorial Day tally: 7 killed, 44 wounded
2016 Memorial Day tally: 10 killed, 67 wounded
2015 Memorial Day tally: 12 killed, 45 wounded
2014 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 22 wounded
Average tally: 9 killed, 41 wounded

05/22/2023

Yesterday, Chicago tallied 2023’s 1,000th person shot.

#2023 #1000

05/16/2023

Just because one clown has departed doesn't mean the circus has left town.

04/17/2023

Summer-like weather prompted hundreds of people to act like idiots starting Thursday evening and into Saturday night. Jumping on vehicles, shooting people, destruction of property, fighting, and a burning Telsa all in the name of good clean fun!

Mayor-elect Brandon Johnson waited until late Sunday afternoon to make a TL:DR statement: "Unacceptable... but..."

04/13/2023

Lori has just a little more than a month to go and she still only recorded two shooting-free days during her tenure - January 7th 2020 & November 18, 2019.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

03/11/2023

A third place finish still isn't good enough to go a day without someone catching lead.

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03/09/2023

Homicide 100 coming in at a slightly slower pace than years past which will likely put Lori's final four year homicide count at just under 3,000 or roughly 350 more than Rahm's second term.

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

02/24/2023

Stay home, don't vote. Vote early, vote often. Stay home, vote often. Whichever method works best, cast your vote(s) for Mayor of Chicago.

In the past it was vote early, vote often. The other day it was stay home, don't vote. Now it's back to vote early, vote often. Whichever method works best, who is your choice for Mayor of Chicago?

02/09/2023

Aside from January 7th 2020, November 18, 2019 is the only other day of Lightfoot's term that has gone without a person shot.

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02/07/2023

Year of the Wabbit | Weekend of the Stupid

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Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

Thanks to (at)Purplehip312 on Twitter for the image.

02/02/2023

An above-average January in terms of temperatures and below-average in terms of snowfall resulted in the most average January we’ve recorded.

January 2023: 44 killed, 166 wounded
January 2022: 52 killed, 183 wounded
January 2021: 57 killed, 194 wounded
January 2020: 37 killed, 139 wounded
January 2019: 23 killed, 112 wounded
January 2018: 42 killed, 173 wounded
January 2017: 57 killed, 258 wounded
January 2016: 57 killed, 256 wounded
January 2015: 32 killed, 120 wounded
January 2014: 24 killed, 82 wounded
Average January: 43 killed, 167 wounded

------- Alternatives --------
Homebase: https://heyjackass.com
Shop: https://www.shopjackass.com/
Substack: https://heyjackass.substack.com/
Telegram: https://t.me/HeyJackass
IG:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

Thanks to (at)Purplehip312 on Twitter for the image.

01/26/2023

Ten Years of Chicago Values

Over 6,400 homicides, nearly 28,000 shot and wounded, thousands of carjackings, hundreds of death investigations, close to a million data points...

On this date in 2013, we launched a questionably named site with the simple idea of illustrating "Chicago values".

01/09/2023

The three year anniversary of one of the stupidest and longest running threads on Chicago Twitter.

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IG:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

01/01/2023

While 2022 won’t be a repeat of 2021’s iT’s NoT aS bAd aS ThE NinTieS-like sh*tshow, it’ll still mark the third consecutive year of 700+ homicides and only the fourth 700+ homicide year this century.

Preliminary 2022 Totals (vs 2021)
Shot & Killed: 665 (-16%)
Shot & Wounded: 2,936 (-22%)
Total Shot: 3601 (-21%)
Total Homicides: 734 (-14%)

For insight on how we calculate these totals: https://heyjackass.substack.com/p/year-end-calculus
Subscribe to our Stack if you like: https://heyjackass.substack.com/
As always, all the stupidity and nonsense is tracked, noted and visualized at https://heyjackass.com/

Thanks to on Twitter for the image.

#2023

12/27/2022

We haven’t seen a Christmas this cold since the early 80s. As such, we saw more peace and joy and mOAr sEverRE iLLnESs and DEatH!… whoops, that was last year… we mean less death and mayhem as subzero temps tend to keep things in check. Hopefully you had a relaxing and enjoyable Festivus-Christmas-Boxing Day.

Final X-Mass Tally: 5 killed, 17 wounded
2021 Christmas tally: 4 killed, 28 wounded
2020 Christmas tally: 11 killed, 20 wounded
2019 Christmas tally: 9 killed, 54 wounded
2018 Christmas tally: 6 killed, 28 wounded
2017 Christmas tally: 5 killed, 21 wounded
2016 Christmas tally: 12 killed, 51 wounded
2015 Christmas tally: 13 killed, 23 wounded

Wrap-up of the weekend's stupidity: https://heyjackass.substack.com/p/x-mass-shooting-weekend
Subscribe to our Stack if you like: https://heyjackass.substack.com/
As always, all the stupidity and nonsense is tracked, noted and visualized at https://heyjackass.com/

12/25/2022

May your bathrobes be short and your Old Styles stay cold on this chilly Christmas Day.

12/19/2022

T’was the last non-holiday weekend of the year and one of your last chances to get a five-finger discount from any of the remaining Michigan Ave boutiques before Xmas.

Final Peaceful Tally: 5 killed, 20 wounded
2021 weekend tally: 4 killed, 21 wounded
2020 weekend tally: 9 killed, 34 wounded
2019 weekend tally: 5 killed, 34 wounded
2018 weekend tally: 2 killed, 26 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 5 killed, 20 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 10 killed, 30 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 4 killed, 26 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 29 wounded
Average tally: 5 killed, 27 wounded

Wrap-up of the weekend's stupidity: https://heyjackass.substack.com/p/mostly-peaceful-weekend-51

Subscribe to our Stack if you like: https://heyjackass.substack.com/

As always, all the stupidity and nonsense is tracked, noted and visualized at https://heyjackass.com/

12/14/2022

It took nearly seven weeks longer to hit 700 homicides this year vs last year, yet it'll be just the fourth year this century to exceed the 700 mark (2016, 2020 & 2021). It's also the first time Chicago has tallied three consecutive years of 700+ homicides in a row since 1996-1998.

------- Alternatives --------
Homebase: https://heyjackass.com
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Telegram: https://t.me/HeyJackass
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Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

Thanks to on Twitter for the image.

#700

12/12/2022

After posting 11 homicides in less than 30hrs on Tuesday and Wednesday this past week, less favorable conditions helped tap the brakes a bit as the grind towards 700 homicides is now just a day or so away.

Final Peaceful Tally: 6 killed, 21 wounded
2021 weekend tally: 6 killed, 26 wounded
2020 weekend tally: 3 killed, 16 wounded
2019 weekend tally: 3 killed, 17 wounded
2018 weekend tally: 1 killed, 23 wounded
2017 weekend tally: 7 killed, 20 wounded
2016 weekend tally: 9 killed, 31 wounded
2015 weekend tally: 4 killed, 26 wounded
2014 weekend tally: 4 killed, 29 wounded
Average tally: 5 killed, 24 wounded

Wrap-up of the weekend's stupidity: https://heyjackass.substack.com/p/mostly-peaceful-weekend-50

Subscribe to our Stack if you like: https://heyjackass.substack.com/

As always, all the stupidity and nonsense is tracked, noted and visualized at https://heyjackass.com/