Heyjackass - Chicago Crime, Murder & Mayhem

05/27/2024

Shootings, homicides and other reported crimes for the first year in office for Brandon, Lori and Rahm (2nd term).

Homebase: https://heyjackass.com/
Chicago-themed merch & DNC-related crap: https://www.shopjackass.com/

04/25/2024

We couldn’t track down an official narrative for this incident, likely because the cops didn’t gun down a blossoming rocket scientist. However, it’s comforting to know that the Mayor said there’s a “strategic plan” in place to combat such thuggery, eventually.

Head over to our Substack where we’ve posted a short video of the incident from the first attempt to the second attempt a minute or so later. While you’re there, subscribe if you like.

A pod camera picked up an attempted robbery, not once but twice within two minutes, against the same guy.

03/08/2024

Is this thing on? It has been awhile since we posted here, but if getting blind drunk at 10 am in Wrigleyville and fighting police horses is your thing, then we have the t-shirt for you. Order today to ensure delivery before next weekend. Limited Run!

Check it out at https://www.shopjackass.com/product/st-pats-drunk-chalkie-t-shirt/90 or just https://www.shopjackass.com/

09/25/2023

The 3x rise in motor vehicle theft are simply "crimes of survival" committed by those attempting to get out of the food deserts and to the Whole Foods before closing time.

09/08/2023

Thanks to everyone who kept this summer mostly peaceful, free of demonization, car battery explosions to a minimum, were able to climb over the blue wall of segregation, were slow to act, refrained from mob actions, silly decisions and large gatherings to make it slightly more joyful than others of recent vintage.

08/16/2023

The only thing outpacing the selfies these first 90 full days are the shots fired and redefining of crime-related words and terminology.

08/03/2023

After posting some greater-than-1990s July tallies in recent years a below average, sub-60 monthly homicide count is non-demonizable and likely even acceptable.

07/18/2023

This past Saturday marked Day 60 of the Brandon era. Time flies almost as fast as the lead.

Background photo via (at)briancassella on Twitter.

07/05/2023

The extended weekend provided ample opportunities for a lead slug to declare its independence from its brass casing oppressor.

06/01/2023

OG Lightfoot and Lightfoot v2.0 split responsibilities as the reigns of stupidity were peacefully handed over mid-month. While OG wrapped up her tenure with over 15k shot, v2.0 got off to a strong start with a notably violent, stress mishandling Memorial Day weekend.

May 2023: 65 killed, 274 wounded
May 2022: 66 killed, 290 wounded
May 2021: 70 killed, 333 wounded
May 2020: 85 killed, 314 wounded
May 2019: 57 killed, 202 wounded
May 2018: 54 killed, 265 wounded
May 2017: 59 killed, 269 wounded
May 2016: 69 killed, 339 wounded
May 2015: 50 killed, 281 wounded
May 2014: 47 killed, 230 wounded
Avg May: 62 killed, 280 wounded

Side not: If you've made it this far, we ask that you do not share or engage on this post. We're running an experiment to see how engagement works (or most likely doesn't) on this platform. Thanks!

05/31/2023

Day two of the Summer of Joy 2 without a homicide but with an additional 12 wounded.

05/30/2023

There was adequate "mishandling the stress" this Memorial Day weekend despite the Peacekeepers best efforts to further escalate and increase conflict all while in on the grift.

Final Demonized Tally: 12 killed, 49 wounded
2022 Memorial Day tally: 12 killed, 43 wounded
2021 Memorial Day tally: 4 killed, 38 wounded
2020 Memorial Day tally: 10 killed, 43 wounded
2019 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 35 wounded
2018 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 31 wounded
2017 Memorial Day tally: 7 killed, 44 wounded
2016 Memorial Day tally: 10 killed, 67 wounded
2015 Memorial Day tally: 12 killed, 45 wounded
2014 Memorial Day tally: 8 killed, 22 wounded
Average tally: 9 killed, 41 wounded

05/22/2023

Yesterday, Chicago tallied 2023’s 1,000th person shot.

#2023 #1000

05/16/2023

Just because one clown has departed doesn't mean the circus has left town.

04/17/2023

Summer-like weather prompted hundreds of people to act like idiots starting Thursday evening and into Saturday night. Jumping on vehicles, shooting people, destruction of property, fighting, and a burning Telsa all in the name of good clean fun!

Mayor-elect Brandon Johnson waited until late Sunday afternoon to make a TL:DR statement: "Unacceptable... but..."

04/13/2023

Lori has just a little more than a month to go and she still only recorded two shooting-free days during her tenure - January 7th 2020 & November 18, 2019.

------- Alternatives --------
Homebase: https://heyjackass.com
Shop: https://www.shopjackass.com/
Substack: https://heyjackass.substack.com/
Telegram: https://t.me/HeyJackass
IG:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

03/11/2023

A third place finish still isn't good enough to go a day without someone catching lead.

------- Alternatives --------
Homebase: https://heyjackass.com
Shop: https://www.shopjackass.com/
Substack: https://heyjackass.substack.com/
Telegram: https://t.me/HeyJackass
IG:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson

03/09/2023

Homicide 100 coming in at a slightly slower pace than years past which will likely put Lori's final four year homicide count at just under 3,000 or roughly 350 more than Rahm's second term.

------- Alternatives --------
Homebase: https://heyjackass.com
Shop: https://www.shopjackass.com/
Substack: https://heyjackass.substack.com/
Telegram: https://t.me/HeyJackass
IG:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/w_h_thompson