12/06/2025
Unresolved Hurt, Unresolved Pain- Part 1
Have you ever wondered why certain people behave the way they do?
Why a spouse, friend, coworker, or even a stranger might seem fearful, argumentative, withdrawn, defensive, possessive, insecure, or constantly on edge?
It’s easy to assume people “choose” their behaviors… but the truth is far deeper.
No one wakes up one morning and says, “I want to be angry.”
No child grows up dreaming, “Someday I hope to be wounded, bitter, or addicted.”
And most people cannot simply flip a switch and change, even if they desperately want to.
The real reason people act the way they do is often found in something hidden — something buried beneath the surface. Somewhere along their journey, usually in childhood, they were hurt… wounded… betrayed… overlooked… or traumatized. And the pain was never resolved.
When Jesus encountered the woman at the well, He understood this perfectly.
She had been married five times and was living with yet another man. But Jesus did not shame her. He did not attack her choices or demand better behavior. Instead, He gently revealed the truth:
her outward behavior flowed from a deep inner wound — a longing for love, security, and identity that no earthly relationship could satisfy.
There was a hole in her heart that only Jesus could fill.
And when she encountered Him — truly met Him — her heart was healed. She was finally free to become the woman God designed her to be.
This is one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned in my own journey of inner healing and through walking with others:
You cannot judge someone by their actions when you do not know their wounds.
You don’t know the stories buried beneath the surface.
You don’t know the pain that shaped them.
You don’t know what they survived.
But this we do know:
Wherever there is unresolved hurt, it will always produce unresolved pain.
And only Jesus — the Healer of hearts — can reach into those broken places and restore what was lost.