04/15/2020
The Corona Rules:
1. You can't leave the house for any reason, but if you have to, then you can....unless you aren't supposed to, in which case you can be fined up to $11,000, unless it's for approved activities, which is pretty much normal activities, except when it isn't.
2. Masks are useless, but maybe you have to wear one, it can save you, it is useless, but maybe it is mandatory as well.
3. Stores are closed, except those that are open.
4. You should not go to hospitals unless you have to go there. Same applies to doctors, you should only go there in case of emergency, provided you are not too sick.
5. This virus is deadly but still not too scary, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster.
6. Gloves won't help, but they can still help, so wear gloves, unless you can't wear gloves or can't find gloves, then don't.
7. Everyone needs to stay HOME, but it's important to GO OUT.
8. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarket, but there are many things missing when you go there in the evening, but not in the morning. Sometimes.
9. The virus has no effect on children except those it affects.
10. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there and a dog or two…
11. You will have many symptoms when you are sick, but you can also get sick without symptoms, have symptoms without being sick, or be contagious without having symptoms. Also, the symptoms can mirror other sicknesses, including allergies, but not necessarily....Oh, my..
12. In order not to get sick, you have to eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand and it's better not to go out, well, but no…
13. It's better to get some fresh air, but you get looked at very wrong when you get some fresh air, and most importantly, you don't go to parks or walk. But don’t sit down, except that you can do that now if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant (but not too old) and remember to wear the mask, that may work sometimes, but not all the times and probably won't work any of the time.
14. You can't go to retirement homes, but you have to take care of the elderly and bring food and medication.
15. If you are sick, you can't go out, but you can go to the pharmacy.
16. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house, which may have been prepared by people who didn't wear masks or gloves. But you have to have your groceries decontaminated outside for 3 hours. Pizza too?
17. Every disturbing article or disturbing interview starts with " I don't want to trigger panic, but…"
18. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but you can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver.
19. You can walk around with a friend but not with your family if they don't live under the same roof.
20. You are safe if you maintain the appropriate social distance, but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance.
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours, no, four, no, six, no, we didn't say hours, maybe days? But it takes a damp environment. Oh no, not necessarily.
22. The virus stays in the air - well no, or yes, maybe, especially in a closed room, in one hour a sick person can infect ten, so if it falls, all our children were already infected at school before it was closed. But remember, if you stay at the recommended social distance, however in certain circumstances you should maintain a greater distance, which, studies show, the virus can travel further, maybe.
23. We count the number of deaths but we don't know how many people are infected as we have only tested so far those who were "almost dead" to find out if that's what they will die of…
24. We have no treatment, except that there may be one that apparently is not dangerous unless you take too much (which is the case with all medications).
25. We should stay locked up until the virus disappears, but it will only disappear if we achieve collective immunity, so when it circulates… but we must no longer be locked up for that?
26. You can only buy essential items, except the essential items will vary from state to state based upon whatever rule is put in place the day before to define essential items, but you really shouldn't go out, unless you must go out, just only get essential items.
27. Grocery stores will have one-way markers to indicate the direction you are to travel, be sure to travel in this direction as the virus cannot travel in the opposite direction, except the virus can spread up to 30 feet, well, maybe, we don't know, it's been detected up to 15 feet but 6 feet of social distance will work.
28. There won't be a vaccine for at least a year, which means that we will have these in place for at least that long, except we have to get the economy going again, food planted, harvested, processed and distributed except we have to close down all farms, processing plants and distribution facilities because of the virus. But there's nothing to worry about, except when there is, then you can, but don't worry because it increases stress.
29. The virus originated in China, from a bat, except maybe it was a dog, but we don't know for sure, but it was an animal, definitely, maybe...
30. Prisoners are to be released from incarceration to prevent spread of the virus, those found in violation of the corona rules will however be incarcerated to prevent spread of the virus.
31. There is nothing that can kill the virus, but washing your hands and using hand sanitizer will kill the virus.
32. Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself, he really died of the coronavirus.
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