08/09/2024
The Fatherโs Mind
In losing our son Asher, my wife has endured pain beyond anything I can imagine, both physical and emotional.
This post is not to compare, but to hopefully see a dad out there who has or will walk this path.
In the moment of some of the greatest pain youโve ever experienced, you must step up more than you ever have.
Itโs time to serve your wife, with food, the house, the kids.
You might literally need to put food in her mouth, you might have to clean up bloody pads or things you never thought you would have to do.
You will sit and hold her in all the uncomfortable emotions.
You will handle the mortuary, the hospital, the bills, and the memorial.
You will be the one to coordinate the visitors, the phone calls, the doctor appointments, and more.
You will have to go back to work, put on the โ maskโ and show up so the bills get paid.
You will need to lead spiritually, pray the prayers, read the bible, and do devotionals like you never have before.
You will smile and sit with visitors who love on your wife while you sit awkwardly ignored in the room.
You will surrender your desire to fix, to help, and to suggest, and you will just love your wife in whatever state she is in that day.
You will be forced to compartmentalize more than you already do as a man, because things have to get done.
You will need to find time for health, exercise, your own friends, your own God time, lots of prayer and worship.
You will need to make time out for your other kids (if you have them) to show up for them too.
You will need to let go of stereotypes and let yourself cry, be vulnerable, and share emotions with your spouse.
You will probably need to deal with anger; at doctors, God, family, or handle your wifeโs
You will need to surrender control, because your schedule is only as good as you or your wifeโs emotions, grief, and anxiety that day Plus planning anything more then day by day will wreck one of you .
You will need to do this and moreโฆ..
Continued in commentsโฆ..