Love Letters

Love Letters A daily advice column on Boston.com. A podcast brought to you by The Boston Globe. Season 10: Can people really change? Hosted by Meredith Goldstein.

On the Love Letters page, you'll get daily letters, updates, photos, and information about LL events.

This letter writer, who is married, still has "what-ifs" about an ex. How should they let go of the fantasy of what migh...
01/09/2025

This letter writer, who is married, still has "what-ifs" about an ex. How should they let go of the fantasy of what might have been?

This is the second letter this week about cutting out exes. Read both of Meredith Goldstein's responses here.

This letter writer, who is married, still has "what-ifs" about an ex. How should they let go of the fantasy of what might have been?

Can people change? Meredith Goldstein explores in season 10 of The Boston Globe's Love Letters podcast. January 14th. We...
01/07/2025

Can people change? Meredith Goldstein explores in season 10 of The Boston Globe's Love Letters podcast.

January 14th. We can't wait for you to listen.

Love stories. Dating stories. Relationship stories. Stories about romance, marriage, partnership, s*x, loss, and the human heart. Served with a side of advice. Hosted by Boston Globe advice columnist Meredith Goldstein. Distributed by PRX.

This letter writer is a teen, taking part in cheating that involves their best friend. How do we talk ourselves out of b...
01/07/2025

This letter writer is a teen, taking part in cheating that involves their best friend. How do we talk ourselves out of bad relationship behavior when we're young? 💔

Read what advice Meredith Goldstein gives to this person who is feeling guilty about their recent choices.

This letter writer is a teen, taking part in a cheat. How do we talk ourselves out of bad relationship behavior when we're young?

Someone has a crush on this letter writer. But ... they're not available. Should the letter writer explore it anyway?Mer...
12/24/2024

Someone has a crush on this letter writer. But ... they're not available. Should the letter writer explore it anyway?

Meredith Goldstein: No. Do not confront.

💌 Read today's Love Letter:

Someone has a crush on this letter writer. But ... they're not available. Should the letter writer explore it anyway?

What happens next after being ghosted with no warning?This Letter Writer was talking to a woman after getting out of a r...
12/19/2024

What happens next after being ghosted with no warning?

This Letter Writer was talking to a woman after getting out of a relationship, and things were going well — they were even talking about bringing their cats to meet each other. But then on LW’s 29th birthday, they got ghosted with no warning and quickly found themselves blocked. What happens now?

Meredith Goldstein says that although this is over, prioritizing and initiating communication in future relationships is key. “If the other person doesn’t respond, at least you’ve been clear.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/7J86ppt

What would you do if your partner believed in conspiracy theories?This Letter Writer has been with their partner for ove...
12/18/2024

What would you do if your partner believed in conspiracy theories?

This Letter Writer has been with their partner for over 30 years, but he’s recently started believing in conspiracy theories he’s seen online. This is leading to more fighting in their relationship, and LW doesn’t know whether they should let him go or fight for the relationship.

Meredith Goldstein says to try to find a middle ground between the two of them to remind him what’s important to their relationship. “If these theories leave no time for the middle – if you can no longer access that sweet spot of common goals – it might be time to go.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/JMOvUra

How would you get your partner to start sleeping over again?This Letter Writer, 71, and their boyfriend, 79, have had pl...
12/17/2024

How would you get your partner to start sleeping over again?

This Letter Writer, 71, and their boyfriend, 79, have had plenty of sleepovers before. But after experiencing some "s*xual inability" about six weeks ago, he’s stopped sleeping over. Now, LW is missing some intimacy and isn’t sure how to solve this.

Meredith Goldstein says that if he’s unwilling to discuss the situation at all, it could be a dealbreaker, and to remember to word it carefully when you bring it up. “Be very clear that it’s not just about s*x, but about the general physical intimacy. You don’t like sleeping without him.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/xT02iCp

Would you keep talking to someone on another continent?This Letter Writer met a guy from London who was in Boston for a ...
12/11/2024

Would you keep talking to someone on another continent?

This Letter Writer met a guy from London who was in Boston for a trip on a dating app. Although they weren’t interested at first, they ended up seeing each other every day of his trip. Now, he’s back in London and LW is planning on moving to Europe for six months next year, and they’re wondering if this is worth continuing or if they should break it off.

Meredith Goldstein says that how serious the situation feels should have some impact on the decision. “You don’t want his presence in your life to prevent you from having a great time with other people. That’s when you’d want to stop the conversation.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/bEniThJ

Should you give a long-distance relationship more time?This Letter Writer was in a long-distance relationship with a man...
12/10/2024

Should you give a long-distance relationship more time?

This Letter Writer was in a long-distance relationship with a man for about three months. However, he works in different states for months at a time, and he recently relocated to be closer to his family after his dad passed away. LW ultimately broke things off after realizing long-distance wouldn’t work for them, but now they’re wondering if they should’ve given the relationship more time.

Meredith Goldstein says that if this wasn’t what you wanted, then it’s okay to break it off, and it might be better for him to text people who can better support him after his dad’s death. “You wouldn’t want to become his primary text support system and then abandon the conversation later.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/gBFxkdF

Is it a good idea to get married during college?This Letter Writer and their partner are planning to get engaged during ...
12/06/2024

Is it a good idea to get married during college?

This Letter Writer and their partner are planning to get engaged during their senior year of college, but LW will have to go to grad school as well. Although they’ve planned it out, LW still has concerns about what wedding planning during school will look like and how they’ll live off one income. How should they go about this?

Meredith Goldstein says to consider why getting married immediately after college is so important, and to remember to focus on the present. “If you spend all your time thinking about later, you’ll miss the good stuff in front of you.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/jb1Chz4

How would you respond if you found out at the last minute you’re hosting a holiday dinner?In this 2017 letter from the a...
11/28/2024

How would you respond if you found out at the last minute you’re hosting a holiday dinner?

In this 2017 letter from the archives, the Letter Writer was planning on staying home with their fiancé for Thanksgiving since they were going on vacation the next day. However, their fiancé ended up inviting his family over for dinner, and he was upset that LW was opposed to the idea. How should they handle this situation?

Meredith Goldstein said that rather than arguing over who was wrong, they should consider how to improve communication. “Where did you guys lose each other here? Did anyone make assumptions? Was the original decision truly understood?”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/SiAJk9U

What if you passed up on “the one” by mistake?This Letter Writer is in their early 30s and single, and they’re hoping to...
11/25/2024

What if you passed up on “the one” by mistake?

This Letter Writer is in their early 30s and single, and they’re hoping to find the love of their life soon and in time to start a family. However, they’re not sure how, or even if, they’ll know when someone is “the one.” Will they just know deep down, or will they have to question a bit first?

Meredith Goldstein says that it’s important to remember that nobody is ever going to be the absolute perfect person for you. “The goal, I think, is to find someone who seems not 100 percent right for you and think, ‘Huh. I want to be with them anyway – because not having them around would be worse than them irritating me sometimes.’”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/pRWv41J

The Big Day is The Boston Globe's new column about people's love stories and how they celebrate.Read Meredith Goldstein'...
11/22/2024

The Big Day is The Boston Globe's new column about people's love stories and how they celebrate.

Read Meredith Goldstein's Q&A with Rachel Kim Raczka on The Big Day here:

The Big Day is The Boston Globe's new column about people's love stories and how they celebrate.

How would you help your spouse who’s having a difficult time at work?This Letter Writer’s husband works in education, an...
11/20/2024

How would you help your spouse who’s having a difficult time at work?

This Letter Writer’s husband works in education, and given the country’s current political climate, politics have started spilling into his field. Although he wants to do this important work, it’s taking a toll on him, and LW isn’t sure how to go about supporting him through this.

Meredith Goldstein says to remember that you can’t fix everything, but you can offer love and support, as well as other distractions. “The easiest thing to do — for both of you — is to plan some healthy fun for weekends.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/av7CcKp

Should you say “I love you” back, even if you aren’t ready to say it?This Letter Writer is a widow, and they’ve started ...
11/19/2024

Should you say “I love you” back, even if you aren’t ready to say it?

This Letter Writer is a widow, and they’ve started seeing someone new. It’s been a few months and it’s going well, but after s*x one night he said “I love you” to LW. They said it back, but now LW is wondering if they’re diving into something more serious too soon and worried they’ll ruin the relationship by saying something.

Meredith Goldstein says to be honest with their partner about how they’re feeling to get some clarification on the situation. “There are no all-or-nothing, mandatory choices here.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/MOtcYXV

Are you experiencing relationship problems? Or *lack of relationship* problems?Stuck in any big “what-ifs”?You've come t...
11/18/2024

Are you experiencing relationship problems? Or *lack of relationship* problems?
Stuck in any big “what-ifs”?

You've come to the right place for answers, and for a limited time, there's an added bonus — the chance to win an extra treat (beyond excellent advice).

Love Letters and the Kennebunkport Resort Collection are partnering to give one Letter Writer a two-night stay in the seaside Maine town. You could bring a bestie for the perfect getaway. Use it as a self-care trip all on your own. Or 
 rekindle the romance in a relationship that’s that could use some extra attention.

To enter the giveaway, submit a letter by December 1.

Columnist Meredith Goldstein can't wait to read your letters and to help you navigate your biggest relationships questions. We're in this together. Sometimes advice – and Maine! – helps.

Read the Official Rules on how to enter and submit your letter: https://trib.al/OAlUpyJ

The idea of dating fills this Letter Writer with dread, and they’re wondering if they should accept staying single.This ...
11/14/2024

The idea of dating fills this Letter Writer with dread, and they’re wondering if they should accept staying single.

This is something a lot of people go through. A lot.

But giving up hope? Meredith Goldstein says “Swear off one thing: the concept of destiny.”

"Bonding with someone enough to want them as a partner can take time. But you have it, right? Time?"

Read the full letter: https://trib.al/5gHq5jE

How would you feel if you took a chance on someone, and then it went wrong?This Letter Writer started talking to “A,” th...
11/12/2024

How would you feel if you took a chance on someone, and then it went wrong?

This Letter Writer started talking to “A,” the best friend of their ex, “B,” after the breakup. At first, it was smooth sailing, but then communication from A became less and less consistent, leading to LW becoming distant and eventually getting ghosted. Now, they’re wondering where they went wrong, and if they made a mistake considering A in the first place.

Meredith Goldstein says that when it comes to relationships, experiences aren’t necessarily mistakes. “You don’t have to run a postgame on this, dissecting how it all happened.”

Read the full letter and the rest of Meredith’s advice: https://trib.al/yqvHavu

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Welcome to Love Letters

Love Letters is a daily dispatch of advice for the lovelorn, courtesy of Columnist Meredith Goldstein. Get advice, give advice, and read the column at loveletters.boston.com.