10/07/2020
Today was my only day off from work and was just coming back from Midas to get the back of my car fixed along with an oil change. When I got back home, I witness a silver Nissan in our family's backyard, I thought someone was coming to do something at our house, but it was actually Lina's social worker.
People like me and my sister are talking to medical professionals to seek help, especially with certain situations in our family's life.
During the conversation with the social worker (I wasn't involved with the conversation), my father has gotten into multiple outbursts/tantrums or panic attacks regarding with study and my sister's future (I was concerned about my sister's future too). This is why I need to get involved with my sister's social worker.
Myself, tormented my sister when I was a lot younger (I also got tormented young too mostly by my father). As a result my sister needed to seek personal help in order for her future to be a lot more better, and to owe her the damage I did to her, I decided to talk to her social worker along with her parents as well. It was mainly because I will have to possibly deal with people like her in the future.
My parents said my sister doesn't get along with people, although she does get along with a couple of her friends while she was doing band in high school and hung out with them on numerous occasions. This impressed me as she was getting socially connected with some of her classmates at high school.
Speaking of my father's outburst/tantrums, there has been multiple issues throughout the last 2 years. He would get upset when he doesn't get what he wants like a little kid, argue for hours or even days about just one thing, even a little one. For example, just when I graduated from college (or walked from college), he started getting very upset about career center regarding with not going to career center. At this point I was starting summer classes and was considering what I should do for my internship, since I planned to take it during the summer.
I threw a lemonade drink out of my mug at him, thinking it would calm him down, but this irritated him and he physically strangled me (he would do it oftenly whenever we get into a verbal altercation and touching him).
Half of the time when the police came, my sister would always call 911 for the police to come and doesn't really tell the truth to the police officers. He would always blame me on starting the altercation when it was actually him because of his verbal outburst. This is when I had no idea he was having behavior problems.
He left for Cleveland in 2011 to start his new job and came back home, where I though he would've changed. I thought he would be more calm, self-confident, and more well-behaved. He lost his job in Cleveland about 4 years ago for unknown reasons.
However, it was unfortunate for him that it was the result I wasn't really expecting. he was not only randomly aggressive on multiple occasions, not understanding social cues, inability to control his own emotions, and exhibiting childish behaviors.
In July 2018, my father got upset again this time at my mother over certain situations based on the family's lifestyle. I then talked to myself, and my father aggressively scared me, worried about getting assaulted by him, I had to push him onto a sofa to have him cool down. Tried to calm it down, but didn't work. His conversation had nothing to do with the incident that happened earlier with my mom. The altercation continued, and I got strangeled again by him, and my sister called the police again. I almost had to go to the hospital for the marks on my face and he was arrested and the police told me to file a restraining order against him. My mother told me not to.
When she told me that, that should've been a sign of my father having some form of autism. We had to go through legal actions for 4 months and I was worried about having to go to trial myself because he though I was the actual aggressor.
The case eventually got dismissed, but my father continued his horrible behavior. Whenever anyone talks about education and future careers, he would always get into an outburst or temper tantrum. I do everything I can to calm him down by having a heart to heart conversation with him but he would continue his aggressive behavior, by trying to physically hurt me and trying to point the finger at me for all of the aggressions in the family.
The most notable incident happened recently on May 24, 2020. My father got upset over myself just for going outside to a not do densely-populated park. The Coronavirus was giving people cabin fevers (including myself) so I decided to go for a walk for a good hour or so. When I came back, my father got agitated for doing it, and got into a meltdown. I did everything I can to calm him down (especially tell him the truth about people dealing with the Coronavirus), but unintentionally almost attempted to injure my head and neck on multiple occasions and had to self-defense myself to avoid going to the hospital and eventually dying from the life-threating disease.
He ALSO indecently sexually assaulted me by touching and pulling my pants down once or twice.
My sister called the police again, I didn't want to tell the police what actually happened, and tried to tell the police just to split us up do to the potential risk of getting the Coronavirus, but the police arrested me. I'm now going through an Adult diversion program.
I was worried I was going to get in trouble for the actions I did to my father, but I tried to keep him under control so the police won't come (because of the number of police officers exposed to the Coronavirus)
It wasn't until August of this year, I realized my father could have some form of autism. I was working at the mall in a booth dealing with community solar. My former colleague got very upset at me for invading his space (even though I was talking to my people) and got very upset at it. Eventually it got worked out, but my former colleague wasn't making a lot of money (since he only gets money from sales on sunglasses), and feared he may lose his business.
Even I got arrested, my father still wasn't learning from his mistakes, nor getting punished. I finally realized he is scared to go to some form of jail or prison. At that point, it was very hard for me to accept it but, my father could possibly have autism. I used to be mean to people with special needs (up until High School) just because they acted different from any other normal people.
However, as I grew up from my teenage and college years to the more recent years where I became a more responsible adult, one of the hardest lessons I had to learn from was accepting Autism isn't a kids disease because I though people would grow out of it and become normal (through life experiences). Some people are different and unfortunately depending how severe their condition could be, I realized some adults can have autism too.
Today's outburst was the reason I decided to get outside help for my father, I couldn't afford myself or him to get into another visit from the police and he has been constantly having outburst almost every month for the last 7 months.
Throughout life experience, especially the recent one it was very hard for me to accept he has some form of autism. I tried to keep him under control, but it has been pretty difficult lately and behavior therapists and counselors have been telling my to leave him alone and walk away from any aggressive altercations. Some people like my father doesn't want to listen, but that's what makes him different from anyone I have talked to in the last couple of years (I mostly talk to people that are non-special needs and can be difficult for me to deal with special needs people).
Everyone is different, even him, even I have to accept that I will someday have to talk to someone with special needs nicely, like some of my friends that are already doing it.
Right now, I am worried that legal authorities may find out that my father hid the truth, but he is scared getting punished. That is because if he goes to jail or prison, people will treat him the same way I treated him, prior to finding out he may be autistic.
Hopefully, he gets help and me, my friends, and my family will be able to live on a good prosperous future. Wear blue for my father on Autism Awareness day next year on April 2, 2021. Any adults that could have autism should it's ok to be different from others.
