10/03/2024
October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. So, in October I turn my wall and my page purple to help to bring awareness to Domestic Violence. We often hear of the tragic stories when someone doesn't survive at the hands of their abuser. But, there are victories and those of us who made it out. And this month I take the time to honor those who made it out, those who didn't and those who suffer in silence. I try to bring awareness to help others.
And today my mind goes to what is seldom talked about when it comes to Domestic Violence, and that's Post Separation Abuse.
"Post-separation abuse is abuse that continues or escalates after a relationship has ended. It can be physical, verbal, or emotional abuse to control, intimidate, or harm the former partner. It can take on many forms, such as harassment, stalking, custody battles, and reputation destruction. Post-separation abuse is a form of domestic violence and poses a high risk of homicide."
(“It’s Not a Bad Breakup, It’s Post-Separation Abuse.” Psychology Today, 2022, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/invisible-bruises/202209/its-not-a-bad-breakup-its-post-separation-abuse?msockid=36a9bdf9593c6f492e71adae58d66e6c. Accessed 3 Oct. 2024.)
As a Survivor of Domestic Abuse, I can testify that I've had to deal with each of these areas of Post Separation Abuse. And, yes, we have to stay on guard because it doesn't end. From the "Alienation Allegations" to "Stalking" to "Legal Abuse" to "Financial Abuse", it never ends. And, I must admit that the "Isolation" part was hurtful. People that I thought knew me and my family listened to and believed the false narrative that was spread about me. Thank God that the Legal Abuse was nipped in the bud.
This Post Separation Abuse Wheel can give you a better look at what it looks like and some examples of each area. So, if you are dealing with or if you know of someone who deals with any of these areas, please be gentle. Be kind. Be there for them and give them the support they need because it can be draining (mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually and financially). Let them know that they are not alone!
I'm thankful for my strong support system and I'm thankful to stand as a survivor! And I'm thankful to use my voice to remind people that just because the relationship ended doesn't mean that the abuse ended, especially when there are children involved. But, we won't be silent anymore! And we will continue to call it what it is- Post Separation Abuse! Prayerfully the courts will learn and act accordingly!
