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Dyce

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03/23/2024

Big shout out to my newest top fans! 💎

Lucus White, Kevin Roach, Leeriah Reedhead, Zachuriah Walko, Mishell Ann Busuego, Ann Jorgy, JenEra Meseran, Khwanpapa Phwngkulap, Dee Rowe, Thomas Kisto Jr., Angie Marie, Ray Langlois, Shawndra Dawn Shields-Stoetzel

03/01/2024

Mismatched Missions

- Sam: I told them to bring a map for the hiking trip.

- Simon: Did they bring it?

- Sam: Nope, they brought a cap. Apparently, they thought we were going on a stylish adventure.

02/15/2024

Son: "Mom, I got you a Valentine's Day card."
Mom: "That's sweet, dear! What does it say?"
Son: "It says, 'Mom, you're like a fine wine.'"
Mom: "Oh, that's lovely! I'm touched. What's the rest?"
Son: "It says, 'You get better with age, and Dad says you're best enjoyed when he's away.'"

02/15/2024

Son: "Mom, I don't know what to get you for Valentine's Day."
Mom: "Oh, honey, you're the best gift I could ever ask for!"
Son: "Great! I was hoping you'd say that because I didn't get you anything."

02/15/2024

Son: "Mom, can I have a dollar for the school trip?"
Mom: "A dollar? Why do you need 50 cents?!"
Son: "Well, I thought of asking Dad for the other 50!"

02/14/2024

Son: "Mom, I'm cold!"
Mom: "Go stand in the corner."
Son: "Why?"
Mom: "Because the corner is 90 degrees!"

01/24/2024

Teacher (on phone): You say Michael has a cold and can’t come to school today? To whom am I speaking?
Voice: This is my father.

゚

01/24/2024

Father: Why did you get such a low score in that exam?
Son: Absence!
Father: You were absent on the day of the exam?
Son: No but the boy who sits next to me was!

01/23/2024

Son: For $20, I’ll be good.
Dad: Oh, yeah? When I was your age, I was good for nothing.

01/21/2024

Just burned 1200 calories. I forgot the pizza in the oven. 🍕🔥

01/18/2024

Tommy came running to his mom, holding a broken toy. He said, "Mom, my favorite toy is broken!" His mom, trying to teach a lesson, said, "Well, sometimes things break, and we can't always fix them." Tommy looked at her with big, innocent eyes and said, "But Mom, you always fix everything!" His mom smiled and replied, "True, but there are some things even moms can't fix." Tommy thought for a moment and then asked, "Can you at least fix chocolate chip cookies for me?" His mom couldn't help but laugh and said, "Absolutely, my little chef!"

01/18/2024

One day, little Timmy asked his dad, "Dad, why do we always have to go to bed early?"

His dad replied, "Well, Timmy, the early bird catches the worm!"

Timmy thought for a moment and then said, "But Dad, I don't want to catch worms. Can't we just order pizza instead?"

His dad couldn't help but burst into laughter at Timmy's clever response. They ended up having a pizza night and enjoyed some quality father-son time.

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30318

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