18/08/2024
Funnily most women in long term relationships or marriages are staying with abusers not because of monetary gains coz in 60% (if not more) of Sierra Leonean homes, the women are the providers. They stay because of the children, 'what people will say' or afraid to start over or fear of being lonely. Some just get convenient with the toxicity, because as women we don't like uncertainty and that toxic situation becomes our norm cause we've adapted to dealing with it rather than moving on to what you don't know. The parable of 'bad man beteh pas empty os' or 'the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know' are all passed down to us from our grandmothers and mothers and aunties and sisters who themselves had been victims of abuse and used those sayings to encourage themselves in these horrible situations. You see us educated and working class Women, we go through worse abuse from these insecure men we call partners than that illiterate lady out there. These men want to humiliate and dehumanize you because they are scared and lazy and will do whatever they can to make you become a shadow of yourself. My advice to you Women of today is 'please wake up! Don't die! You die na yu loss.' I know your pains and I've felt your struggles. It's not easy to make that decision to leave but when you finally do, you'll be surprised what's on the other side of that abusive relationship or marriage. You can still stay and if you're lucky and don't end up dead like Osinachi, Sia and many others whose stories we don't even know, then you might be turned into an old looking, insecure, scared woman or you become an unstable, embittered, hurt and unreasonable one. You'll also continue the cycle of abuse because your son will learn that's how women should be treated and your daughter will also believe that's how she should be treated. Make your choice! If you die or be rendered disabled we can only but shout . Your kids will be left to suffer. 'Yu see how di world hard no to so? Die lef dem, they won't forgive you'. I am not saying this to destroy your relationship my sister but if the kitchen is too hot for you, get out! Go and eat 'garri' with your kids, you'll be amazed at how your lives will turn around and how peaceful the lives of you and your children will be. I have said my own, but I know you'll not take it. You know all of this but you feel stuck, you make excuses in your head for him because 'e beat you n beg you.' He blamed the devil and promised it will never happen again. He took you to the hospital and later bought you gifts, chai, he even gathered the kids to beg you right? And if you're as religious as I am you even prayed and fasted but another day of beating came and another and then another. To be continued...
Β©AMT The Blooming SHE