Influence through Voice

Influence through Voice Cynthia is a voice coach, professional speaker (CSP) and best-selling author. She helps you develop

She helps you develop a powerful voice to be heard in a noisy world.

We all want to be different, and we all want to fit in. You can argue, "No, I don't want to fit in." Fitting in is deepl...
14/01/2025

We all want to be different, and we all want to fit in. You can argue, "No, I don't want to fit in." Fitting in is deeply ingrained in our collective identity. In the stone ages, if you didn't fit in, you'd be thrown out and wouldn't stand a chance to survive.

🗣️ For someone who tries too hard to fit in, it may lead to a pleasing voice in order for one to feel accepted, or a voice that sounds like constantly seeking validation, or a voice that shows uncertainty with what one speaks, or a person who can switch among different accents depending on who he/she is speaking to.

🤔 You might be thinking, how could one even hear all those through the voice? Yes, you can. Voice reflects everything about you. Most people could sense the difference unconsciously, just that you may not be able to put your finger on what exactly it is in the voice that makes the difference.

🫁 Voice is vibration supported by breath. The way a person uses the breath, unconsciously, changes how the voice comes across. For example, a pleasing voice could be overly using the breath. How interesting that some voice issues are caused by not giving the breath while a pleasing voice over-gives. And that can be the case where a pleasing person over-gives, isn't it?

💡 Trying to fit in is ok. It is part of our survival mechanism. It is the intention that matters. Why do you want to fit in? Is it so that you can be accepted? Is it that you would feel more safe and secure? Is it that you would avoid judgement and criticism? Or is it because you can better serve the group?

🌀 How the voice vibrates and where it vibrates change how the voice comes across too. A fully resonated voice helps you develop this inner unshakable core where you’ll stay grounded and centred being who you are. You accept who you are regardless of how others perceive you. Interestingly, the world around you responds to you as the way you respond to yourself, as the saying goes, "We teach others how to treat us." When you accept yourself, you’ll start to notice that others accept you too. As for those who don’t accept who you are nonetheless, ignore them. That’s their own problems to deal with. 🤭 🤭 🤭

🙏 May you accept who you are, completely, and accept the WHOLE you!

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” This is how you cultivate compassion 😂 well, one of the ways. It was throug...
03/01/2025

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” This is how you cultivate compassion 😂 well, one of the ways. It was through the experiences over the years of being bullied at work, living in fear, feeling voiceless, waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweat wondering where the next client was, facing the broken commitment from a partner and feeling helpless and hopeless ... that I’ve gained profound understanding of the struggles and sufferings of those who go unheard, who are suppressed, who live in fear, and who couldn’t see light when surrounded by darkness.

🌪️ 🌀 ⚡ If I had not seen the darkness, if I had not gone to the rock bottom, if I had not been brought to my knees and faced the demons, how would I be able to tell you exactly what darkness, rock bottom and demons look like, feel like and taste like? Yes, I may be able to tell you from what I have read from the books and watched from videos. It forever stays in the head, the left brain, and will never touch your heart. 💗

“What is to give light must endure burning.” 🔥

I wish you wouldn’t need to experience any suffering in life to learn compassion. Unfortunately, that’s not how life is designed. You either just came out of a suffering, or are going through one, or are going to go through one. 😂 Since we are all going to go through suffering anyway, why not fully experience it, rise from it, and become a more compassionate person. “The phoenix must burn to emerge.” ❤️‍🔥

When you emerge, you relate to people in a profoundly deep way. Not only you’ll become a better leader, but most importantly, you become a better person.

☔ “I wish to hold an umbrella over you, for I, too, have been caught in the storm.”This saying, originally from a Chines...
03/01/2025

☔ “I wish to hold an umbrella over you, for I, too, have been caught in the storm.”

This saying, originally from a Chinese quote (因为我曾淋过雨,所以想为你撑把伞), explains the best what compassion is.

✅ Compassion, not empathy, has become one of the top qualities people want to see in a leader, especially in the past few years of crisis and chaos.

👉 Compassion is beyond that of “I put myself in your shoes and understand what you are going through.”

✅ Compassion is that of “Yes, I’ve been through the experience or the feelings that you are going through, and I understand personally the suffering, the pain, the desperation, the hopelessness... I am here to help you alleviate the suffering.”

💡 That’s the difference between empathy and compassion. Compassion comes from the place of loving kindness and is essential on the path to enlightenment in Buddhism.

Compassionate leaders are proven to foster trust, loyalty and engagement from employees. Compassion can’t be cultivated with techniques. If it was so easy to be compassionate, everyone would have been enlightened. Compassion is a practice and cultivation of the heart. ❤️‍🩹

☔ “I wish to hold an umbrella over you, for I, too, have been caught in the storm.”This saying, originally from a Chines...
03/01/2025

☔ “I wish to hold an umbrella over you, for I, too, have been caught in the storm.”

This saying, originally from a Chinese quote (因为我曾淋过雨,所以想为你撑把伞), explains the best what compassion is.

✅ Compassion, not empathy, has become one of the top qualities people want to see in a leader, especially in the past few years of crisis and chaos.

👉 Compassion is beyond that of “I put myself in your shoes and understand what you are going through.”

✅ Compassion is that of “Yes, I’ve been through the experience or the feelings that you are going through, and I understand personally the suffering, the pain, the desperation, the hopelessness... I am here to help you alleviate the suffering.”

💡 That’s the difference between empathy and compassion. Compassion comes from the place of loving kindness and is essential on the path to enlightenment in Buddhism.

Compassionate leaders are proven to foster trust, loyalty and engagement from employees. Compassion can't be cultivated with techniques. If it was so easy to be compassionate, everyone would have been enlightened. Compassion is a practice and cultivation of the heart. ❤️‍🩹

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” This is how you cultivate compassion 😂 well, one of the ways. It was through the experiences over the years of being bullied at work, living in fear, feeling voiceless, waking up in the middle of the night in cold sweat wondering where the next client was, facing the broken commitment from a partner and feeling helpless and hopeless ... that I've gained profound understanding of the struggles and sufferings of those who go unheard, who are suppressed, who live in fear, and who couldn't see light when surrounded by darkness.

🌪️ 🌀 ⚡ If I had not seen the darkness, if I had not gone to the rock bottom, if I had not been brought to my knees and faced the demons, how would I be able to tell you exactly what darkness, rock bottom and demons look like, feel like and taste like? Yes, I may be able to tell you from what I have read from the books and watched from videos. It forever stays in the head, the left brain, and will never touch your heart. 💗

“What is to give light must endure burning.” 🔥

I wish you wouldn’t need to experience any suffering in life to learn compassion. Unfortunately, that’s not how life is designed. You either just came out of a suffering, or are going through one, or are going to go through one. 😂 Since we are all going to go through suffering anyway, why not fully experience it, rise from it, and become a more compassionate person. “The phoenix must burn to emerge.” ❤️‍🔥

When you emerge, you relate to people in a profoundly deep way. Not only you’ll become a better leader, but most importantly, you become a better person.

Confucius says “四十不惑”, meaning after you hit 40 years old, you are no longer confused with life. 2000 years ago, 40 was ...
31/12/2024

Confucius says “四十不惑”, meaning after you hit 40 years old, you are no longer confused with life. 2000 years ago, 40 was considered the age of a senior citizen already. 😆 I do feel I’m less and less confused with life, perhaps because I’m a few years older than 40! 🤣 😉 The most important lesson in 2024 that I’ve learned is, nothing is a big deal.

You fell? Stand up.
Was hurt? “Thank you universe for an important lesson.”
Was judged? So what? You judge others all the time! 😉
Was laughed at? Laugh with them, even harder.
You wake up, “OMG, I’m still alive!” then nothing is really a big deal.

What’s your biggest lesson in 2024? I’d love to hear it. Share in the comment!

For 2025, my key word is breakthrough. “What got you here won’t get you there.” We can only take ourselves thus far. To go to the next level, we need support. Luckily, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I’m open to the new lessons that I’ll learn and excited to see what will unfold. 🤩

What’s your key word for 2025? I’d love to hear it. Share in the comment too!

Merry Christmas! 🎉 🎅 It’s the time of the year for reflection and looking into the future. I’m fortunate enough to have ...
24/12/2024

Merry Christmas! 🎉 🎅

It’s the time of the year for reflection and looking into the future. I’m fortunate enough to have found and followed what I’m meant to do for this life, the so-called life’s purpose and mission. People asked me, “What would you do if you have all the money you want?” I’ll be doing exactly what I’ve been doing. There’s nothing more joyful than seeing the transformation in my clients. Cheers to continue to support more people to find their powerful voice to be heard in this world in 2025 and beyond! 🍻 🥂

Have you found your calling and mission?

What else for 2025? The world needs more people who come alive. What makes you come alive? What gets you into the “zone” where you are so focused on what you are doing and everything just seems to flow?

As an outgoing introvert, I get lightened up on stage. I’m in the “zone” and everything flows easily, audience engaged and laughing while learning. That’s what I’ll do even more of, speaking on stage. If your organization is looking for a speaker who educates and entertains, helping people speak more powerfully, je vous présente moi 😂 contact me. 😉

Now, let’s go reflect and rejuvenate. 🙏😎

A client asked, “Will a voice with gravitas make me sound too serious or inapproachable?”👉 That’s where you want to unde...
19/12/2024

A client asked, “Will a voice with gravitas make me sound too serious or inapproachable?”

👉 That’s where you want to understand the different roles that gravity and levity each plays, and how to balance them.

🌎 Gravity, or gravitas in your voice, is about addressing critical issues with the appropriate level of seriousness. As a leader, you must make tough decisions that can have significant consequences for your team and organisation.

🪁 Levity is the opposite of gravity in terms of mood and tone. It’s the quality of being lighthearted or humorous. Levity in your voice is to diffuse tension, make challenging situations more bearable and allow difficult conversations to be more approachable.

⚖️ ✅ Gravity ensures that important matters are addressed with the necessary seriousness, while levity can bring a sense of relief, maintain morale and foster creativity. Great leaders balance the two opposing forces.

Lee Kuan Yew, the founding father of Singapore, was known for his serious and pragmatic approach to governance. He could address complex and critical issues with gravity, providing clear and decisive leadership. However, he also had a lighter side, occasionally using humour and anecdotes to connect with his audience and make his points more relatable.

✅ The balance between gravity and levity is not about switching between extremes but integrating both aspects seamlessly into your leadership speaking style.

How are you balancing gravity and levity?

“I should pause more often.” Almost every client said that when watching their own recorded speeches. Everyone realises ...
12/12/2024

“I should pause more often.” Almost every client said that when watching their own recorded speeches. Everyone realises the importance of pause but few is able to do it and do it well.

“I have too much content to cover. I don’t have time to pause.” Cut down your content and focus more on delivering with impact. Both Barack Obama and Bill Clinton are said to have an average of 100 words per minute during their speeches, 30% slower than typical conversational rates of 150 words, largely due to their strategic pauses.

👉 Where and when to pause?

There are rules of thumb that you could use to work on using pauses. The golden rule is, to ask yourself often, “What do I want the people to do or feel with what I’ve just said?” How you want what you say to influence the audience comes first, not the other way around.

✅ Pause for Suspense

Many clients came to me and said, “I’ve already got the speech and just need to work my voice delivery to keep them engaged.” When I looked at the speech, “Good morning everyone! Today I’ll share with you the latest project updates.” I sighed, “No matter how engaging your voice is, ‘good morning’ is not going to get them hooked.”

🔥 This is where the way you structure what you say is as important as the way you deliver it. To pause for suspense, there first needs to have suspenses!

Think about how you can say it in a way that makes people say in their head, “Yes, tell me more!” It could be something along the lines as, “Today, you’ll hear the 3 major updates that’ll save you half the effort.”

The restructured line can be further refined but it’s good enough for us to use as an example. What other better lines can you think of? Share it in the comment! 👇

If you want them to feel curious about what you’ll say, you’ll pause, preferably automatically, to pique their curiosity, therefore their attention too. That means, you’ll pause after the words “save you”, then deliver the rest “half the effort.” Avoid adding more words after that, which will weaken the effect and impact of the “punch line,” that is, “half the effort.”

Many clients would have the tendency to add more words, especially after they felt they had failed to deliver the curiosity. Don’t add more words. Instead, practice pausing for suspense more effectively.

There are other rules of thumb for using pauses. Stay tuned.

🎙️ How powerful can resonance be?👉 Vernon looked depressed when he came to me for a more powerful voice so he would be m...
09/12/2024

🎙️ How powerful can resonance be?

👉 Vernon looked depressed when he came to me for a more powerful voice so he would be more visible in cross-function meetings and presentations. The not-so-positive economic environment coupled with layoffs in the company gave him insecurity of his job. This insecurity extended from his work to home. I seldom saw him smile, instead he looked anxious all the time, as if there was something very heavy dragging him down and chained him to the ground.

As he progressed with his resonant voice, I slowly saw the heaviness lifting out of him. He looked lighter in both his complexion and mood. He looked agile and moved with flow and ease. In one session, he shared, “I presented to the CEO today and it went so well that the CEO said,’You’ll be the one doing all the future presentations!’” “There goes away your insecurity of the job!” I congratulated him,”You are the most invaluable asset now!”

When we concluded the final session, Vernon asked, “Cynthia, what is the biggest change you saw in me?” “You become happier.” I responded in an instant. “I think so too. Now I even found I became more patient with my daughter and she was happier too.” 👈

🌀 How interesting and true. When one person becomes happier, the ripple effect is astoundingly powerful.

🔮 As I shared this story with a friend, “You are changing people’s lives,” my friend commented. It dawned on me at that moment that my friend was right. That gave me more affirmation that I am on the right path fulfilling my life’s purpose. It was not only for Vernon who has become happier on top of gaining a powerful voice, but also for many other clients. As they developed full resonance in their voices, their appearances changed too. They were glowing and looked powerful. This sounds unreal and indeed many clients have commented, “It’s like magic!”

🦹‍♀️ Mind and body are one. When you work on your mind, for example, to change your mindset about confidence, you’ll look and sound more confident. On the other hand, when you work on your body, for example, with yoga pose practices, you’ll feel more peaceful; or stand in a power pose and you’ll feel more powerful; or speak with a fully resonated voice, and you’ll feel more elevated.

What’s even better is that people around you would respond unconsciously to the elevated you. Clients who have developed full resonance in their voices noticed the changes in people’s reaction towards them, more attentive and respectful, and their influence has grown with people wanting to gather around them.

📱 Talk to me if you are ready to develop full resonance in your voice.

Many clients wanted to develop gravitas in their voices,“I think when I have gravitas in my voice, I’ll be able to comma...
26/11/2024

Many clients wanted to develop gravitas in their voices,

“I think when I have gravitas in my voice, I’ll be able to command attention and respect.”

“Gravitas will help me to carry weight in my words.”

“I believe gravitas will help me to convey certainty and credibility as a leader.”

❓ What is gravitas?

✅ Gravitas was one of the ancient Roman virtues. It is denoted as “seriousness” and translated variously as weight, dignity and importance. It is particularly appreciated as an ideal characteristic in leaders.

✅ In modern days, gravitas is used to describe a person’s ability to command respect and attention through their seriousness, dignity and authority. It is often applied to leaders, politicians and professionals who exude a sense of importance and credibility.

A client was competing for a top leadership role in his company with another leader. In the end, he didn’t get the role. His boss shared with him afterwards, “Even though you have strong technical skills, you are lacking gravitas. We don’t see you as a leader who exudes presence and authority. We want someone whom we trust as being able to handle complex situations and various stakeholders well. We do want to grow you so you are prepared for the next opportunity. One of the key issues is your voice. It doesn’t carry impact.” There he was, ready to acquire gravitas in his voice with me.

Recently, a tiger 🐯 appeared in North East China that caused huge social media attention. What caught my eyes the most is of course the tiger's voice. 😁 The tiger's voice is remarkably resonant and deep, yet thunderous and powerful. It can project over great distances up to 3 kilometers! Tiger's powerful roar serves as a crucial communication tool to let other animals know their presence and intimidate potential rivals or threats. The more I study about tiger, its voice and its physicality, the more I found it fascinating! I may now announce that tiger has become my favorite animal! I'm sorry Pandas 🐼 . 😂

A deep and resonant voice signals power and strength in not only animal kingdoms, but also human beings. It is an evolutionary legacy that still influences human perception. We tend to associate a deep and resonant voice with authority and leadership. This is true in both men and women. (Research references at the bottom of the post)

A human voice that conveys gravitas has depth and resonance. It is not only what you say, but also the voice that you use to deliver what you say.



References:
*1. Mayew, William J., Christopher A. Parsons and Mohan
Venkatachalam. 2013. Voice Pitch and the Labor Market Success of
Male Chief Executive Officers. Evolution & Human Behavior, 34
(4): 243–248.
*2. Anderson RC, Klofstad CA (2012). Preference for Leaders with
Masculine Voices Holds in the Case of Feminine Leadership Roles.
PLoS ONE 7(12): e51216. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0051216)

Having been raised by a dominant parent, my father, who’s volatile and with unpredictable temper, I had learned to be in...
20/11/2024

Having been raised by a dominant parent, my father, who’s volatile and with unpredictable temper, I had learned to be invisible around him and at home. That survival strategy didn’t serve me however later on in my career. In fact, it was my biggest stumbling block to career advancement and I had to learn the hard way.

I realized that to me being visible equaled to being in danger of being criticized. And I reframed it as “being visible so I could reach out and support more people.” That new belief helped me to make breakthroughs in my career. People often say to me, “I see you everywhere.” I’m comfortable with being seen. Visibility has established me as a person of influence in my field and among my peers. Most importantly, it has helped me to support more people around the world.

👉 How would you reframe your fear?

Fear of visibility? Some clients shared that they don’t want to draw attention to themselves. Visibility makes them feel...
20/11/2024

Fear of visibility?

Some clients shared that they don’t want to draw attention to themselves. Visibility makes them feel uncomfortable. Unfortunately, visibility is vital to your career and business growth.

👉 Norah was attending a board meeting as a member of a newly formed board. The chairperson asked everyone to introduce themselves. Norah started the ball rolling. “Since I wanted to be seen so I thought I’d start first.” Norah shared with me when recalling the story. After one round of introduction, the chairperson turned to her, “Oh, you haven’t introduced yourself!” Norah was frustrated, “I was the first person who did that.” She shared with me, “There it went again. No one heard me!” 👈

To see is to believe. If people don’t see you speak up or get visible, how would they believe that you are capable? No wonder you were passed over for promotion. Over time, it erodes your confidence and leads to a cycle of self doubt and resentment, “How could that idiot get promoted and not me? I’m more capable.”

The fear of visibility can come from early childhood experiences, past negative experiences or cultural and societal norms where standing out is discouraged.

✅🤔 What was your upbringing like?
✅🤔 Has any significant event happened that caused your fear?
✅🤔 What are your negative thought patterns on this fear?

💡 Reflect on these questions and reframe your thought patterns can help you release the fear.

Glad to be a mentor for another year with NUS Women In Business mentorship program. 🎉Looking at the faces of young women...
18/11/2024

Glad to be a mentor for another year with NUS Women In Business mentorship program. 🎉

Looking at the faces of young women, I felt hopeful and responsible. They are almost the same age as my 17.5-year-old niece. If I had a daughter, she would be the same age. It’s an honor and pleasure to be able to share what I have learned over the years with them, so they can shorten their learning curves and hopefully avoid the stage where I felt lost and confused at their age.

It‘s time to nurture the next generation! 😉🥳🥂



with .ubc

When the universe is contrived to work for you … 🙏🙏🙏A corporate client who usually arranges the training in Singapore ti...
08/11/2024

When the universe is contrived to work for you … 🙏🙏🙏

A corporate client who usually arranges the training in Singapore time zone, asked “out of the blue” for the first time if I could do a virtual training session at 11pm - 2am Singapore Time. Guess what? That worked perfectly because I was in Europe and that was 4pm - 7pm for me at the time.

I felt gratitude for this, and a state of being in the flow. 🙏🙏🙏

You hear people say often to be in the flow state. What is it exactly? I’ve experienced that more and more often in my life, both professionally and personally. 💡 It is as if everything you want happened for you seemingly easily and effortlessly.

From my experience, always keep these 3 keys in mind:

👉 1. A Positive Intention

Every day and night, I pray,”Please, use all my talents to help those in need.”

👉2. Let go

Don’t try to control how things should go and should go in a specific way. There is a reason behind everything that happens around you and “to” you. Set your positive intention and do your best.

👉 3. Have fun

Positive feelings attract positive happenings. Do everything you can to feel good, without harming anything and anyone of course!

May you live in the flow state and attract what you want easily and effortlessly. 🙏

P.S. This post has not much to do with voice. This is something I felt so strong today and want to share with you in case you need a sign. Another example about staying in the flow. 😉

Thank you Jessica for your kind words 🙏❤️ I enjoyed the group, open and supportive. Well done on organizing the festival...
06/11/2024

Thank you Jessica for your kind words 🙏❤️ I enjoyed the group, open and supportive. Well done on organizing the festival! 👍👍👍

10 years ago, in a 5-day self-development program I was attending, the teachers said,”This afternoon, we’ll not be teach...
20/10/2024

10 years ago, in a 5-day self-development program I was attending, the teachers said,”This afternoon, we’ll not be teaching. You’ll be playing fun games.”

I thought to myself,”You’ve got to be kidding me?! I spent a few thousand dollars and flew thousands of miles to come here to have fun??!! They must have run out of content to teach.” 🤔🤔🤔🙄🙄🙄

You see, I grew up in a society that emphasises hard work, at the expense of leisure time. I was basically a study machine in my academic years. I was machine learning more than 30 yrs ago! 🤣🤣🤣 I always felt guilty for taking time off or engaging in fun activities.

In the program debrief the next day, the teachers shared the value of having fun and play, how it would help enhance creativity, release stress and promote physical, mental and emotional health.

Now, fun is a central theme in my life. Not only the audiences regularly commented that my speeches are entertaining on top of being educational 😉 but also my friends always have lots of laughters with me, sometimes at me 🤣🤣🤣 a few friends have suggested that I should try standup comedy. Well, you might just find me doing that one day!

How do you have fun, besides dressing up for Halloween 😉 in not just your life but also your work?

Share with me in the commmet~~

❤️ Your HELP needed ~~ ❤️I'm working with a publisher and writing my 2nd book!Yay! 🎉 Applauses here and flowers 💐 are we...
15/10/2024

❤️ Your HELP needed ~~ ❤️

I'm working with a publisher and writing my 2nd book!

Yay! 🎉 Applauses here and flowers 💐 are welcome! I won't mind if you pop a bottle of champagne! 🍾🥂😎😂

This book focuses on developing a powerful voice for leaders, based on 14 years of working with clients from all over the world.

To make it more relevant and relatable, I need your help!

Here's a survey of 3-5 minutes for you to share your views on powerful voices for and of leaders.

CLICK HERE to help me:

https://form.jotform.com/242881004697462

With your participation, I'll include your name in the book's Acknowledgement section. 🙏❤️

Writing chapter 2 in a cafe. In good progress. 😎😎😎😂😂😂
12/10/2024

Writing chapter 2 in a cafe. In good progress. 😎😎😎😂😂😂

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Our Story

What makes you come alive?

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it, because what the world needs is people who come alive.” – Howard Thurman

I live a life of aliveness because I’m on a mission.

Life is too short to waste our time doing things we don’t love and doing things that do not give us a purpose.