30/06/2023
Can I say something 'cz it's heavy!
Okay i'll start---
How can I leave the what if's I always think about? How can I remove it painlessly? I want to leave June because everything just hurts. I want a new life. I don't want to think about something every day when I'm busy. I hate it. Sometimes important things are lost just because of my uncertain thoughts. Last night maybe because I was thinking about him I had a dream. The two of us were happy bonding until I told him "let's take a picture with your CP" his eyes widened because he was hiding some of their pictures. I felt pain but I ignored it. Eraaaasssseeee!!!! I asked him "are you guys together?" he couldn't answer. Silent means yes. Then I woke up crying again. It makes me think what if urgh oebbznxhwvxn. I was just stupid in the part that I was facing happily, but when I turned away, you two are fooling me. I'm trying to fix the situation if it's unclear, lies, secrets. 'Til I know everything. It's debilitating, I feel like I just want to disappear suddenly, I don't know what the pain is HAHAHA korni. I was cold until I let go because of what I found out and I can't explain. I cry every night. It's tiring! I want to get to know someone else, but it's tiring to start over. It's like that, no matter who your dream is, he's the one who not make everything come true. I would like to fix it but someone else has already fixed it. So stupid!
