𝑹𝒖𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕

28/04/2024

“biting my lips to hide my tears”

18/04/2024

“I have this habit of postponing the pleasure when finding a gem during peculiar times.

When I come across new music, I don’t dive and indulge instantly. Instead, I save it somewhere for my future to find.

When I detect a bond starting to form, I sit it out and wait a certain time until I become comfortable in it.

When I buy clothes and books, I keep them away for a while inside the cabinet before using them out in public.

Only upon this writing did I realize how hesitant I was as a person. That I always keep everything away from me before I’m convinced that I can be attached to them.

Oh, maybe this is why I hurt so much when the things I value get snatched away— they were my find afterall.

If only I did not feel the same way about people.”

Photo is lyrics from Bags by Clairo

18/04/2024

I am condemned to hell.

Dante said so— lukewarms belong to a certain ring under.

How can a god like mine design a body with a mind that always chooses to understand and a heart that refuses to give harsh judgement? Oh no, this is blasphemy.

All my life I have put myself in others’ shoes more than I did my own. I stand solely without a stand, and on this hill I will surely die. I recognize evil and yet unwillingly, I put myself in their shoes and immediately try to understand the motives of their actions.

I am cursed— not by a witch— but by a god.

What sets my heart at ease is that I wear it fashionably, like a badge of honor. I was made to be damned. If condemnation is my path then so be it.

Let my soul rot and burn if it means keeping a few someone elses alive.

Let my ash be forgotten in the wind if it means keeping others' passion burning.

Let me end up in hell if it means I get to lift others back to heaven’s gate.

My path was paved long before new planets were born, to change it is futile and to live with this awareness is death itself.

Cursed Advocate, 2024

15/04/2024

i be actively avoiding songs for my own sake only for fb pages to shove it all over my feed :)

14/04/2024

“Some people would say that this is overrated; that this lack of bliss in the usual is nothing but a mere product of overreaction, a waste of precious time meant to be spent on multiple things that actually matter.

Which begs me to question, “What could be these things that, in their perspective, actually matter?””

from
Nocturne Episodes: Anthology— The Rusted Flower in the Withering Vase (2022)

14/04/2024

“Lips that once uttered prayers were now swarmed with thorns, tongues slithered like snakes with their tantalizing venom through the crack. The head was filled with the echoing dialogue from the last debacle, splitting from the pain felt from the sharp words that can be felt through the ears. Eyes that refused to shed tears turn red as the fire beneath the bones grows larger in the mere sight of the fiend.

From the heart that once nurtured Kindness spawned a demon of Rage, hand heavy with brutal strength and mouth laced with enchantments that cause decay. The more the heart beats, the more Rage thrills— feeding on the festering darkness that silently lurks within. Like an itch in the throat that refuses to be spit, Rage clings to the person until a fitting answer is reached.”

from
Nocturne Episodes: Anthology— Fire and Decay (2022)

14/04/2024

may i be blessed with gentle currents
my filth awashed and cheeks kissed by the sun.
the salt in the water had burned my eyes
and gave me visions of what I had become.
my books are kept well,
set sail to an unfamiliar course i shall
for a new story is being written,
a new lore to tell.

2024

08/04/2024

I didn’t know if it was the stone or the force I put in but as soon as the last stone should be placed, the tower toppled again.

from Stone Towers, 2022

08/04/2024

if indeed in the other universe you’ll find me
please… walk away.

2024

08/04/2024

But oh my love,
How can you ask me to give you away?
My heaven crumbled to dust.

My heart lost to gravity as it sank,
My love asked me to do the thing
I fought the gods for.

untitled piece, 2024

08/04/2024

words you said are flying in my head,
like mosquitoes and flies
buzzing around
robbing me of sleep and peace
and if given chance
sucks life out of me
and touches me in ways i despise.

Mosquitoes and Flies, 2024

06/04/2024

“...But my love
My crooked heart rests gently in your palm
As you held it dearly for the life of me
And as I breathe with you
I exhale the poisonous script from my lungs
You strip me bare, gently
careful not to rob me of dignity
Teasing to let you unmask me more.”

Written from a riverside, 2024

21/03/2024

Fire and Decay
(2022)

Glass was scattered across the floor as the voice bellowed inside the room, pitches of little fires crawled beneath the skin and gnawed a portion of the flesh. Rash and blood that brushed against the burning element wafted a crisp burnt flesh in the air— the scald bore a permanent scar that marked the day it all turned gray.

Lips that once uttered prayers were now swarmed with thorns, tongues slithered like snakes with their tantalizing venom through the crack. The head was filled with the echoing dialogue from the last debacle, splitting from the pain felt from the sharp words that can be felt through the ears. Eyes that refused to shed tears turn red as the fire beneath the bones grows larger in the mere sight of the fiend.

From the heart that once nurtured Kindness spawned a demon of Rage, hand heavy with brutal strength and mouth laced with enchantments that cause decay. The more the heart beats, the more Rage thrills— feeding on the festering darkness that silently lurks within. Like an itch in the throat that refuses to be spit, Rage clings to the person until a fitting answer is reached.
The teeth clenched and knuckles turned white as the nails dug deep to the skin while the mind contemplated the justifiable answer one should offer the response. “An eye for an eye” tempts through the haze of fog that clouded the mind and so comes terrible judgement— of severing ties from one soul to a nine.

There could have been better resorts; compromise, compassion, comfort for the raging heart but oh— like a person armed with their seductive eyes, Revenge offered the sweetness that a beaten soul infested with Rage would gladly offer his measly life.

Rage it is and so Rage delivered. Raging fire engulfed all bridges to a safe isle, burning the connection and not one could cross, not without skin being fed to the burning element. Raging force tore down blockades that kept the element at bay. Oh, it was a sight— black smoke rising unto the orange skies— but it wasn’t beautiful, not one part of it.

Rain eventually subdued the element like a miracle, like a warm head plunged into a bucket of water ice— the eyes flickered as if enlightened.

Oh Rage, what have you done?

Such was the question but the answer was already there:
What more is left to be done except swallow a pang of Regret as the pacified Rage sees the extent of damages that cannot be undone.

----------------------------
Happy World Poetry Day! 🫶✨

20/03/2024

Plainspoken V (2022)

20/03/2024

Plainspoken II (2022)

20/03/2024

Plainspoken I (2022)

04/03/2024

Your consistency becomes your frequency.

Think about it. It's not that you’re "stuck;" it's that you are committed to consistent habits & behaviors that once saved you but no longer serve you.

And what you consistently water, grows. It’s one of the laws of nature: energy flows where your attention consistently goes.

The more consistent that you are with your attention, the more that the object of your attention expands.

For example:
If you want to have a healthier body, where can you consistently guide your attention to have a healthier body? You already know the answer: you pay attention to how much you move, you focus on eating healthier, you prioritize sleep.

But you might be wondering: if we know this already, why is this so difficult? How do we integrate it into our lives so that it becomes a sustainable habit?

The answer is not in committing to a routine, but in DEVOTING yourself to a RITUAL. This might be a different way of saying the same thing, but using INTENTIONAL LANGUAGE is a game changer.

That's because the word devotion has a different resonance in the body than the word commitment. And “ritual” FEELS different in the body than “routine.”

If you are at this point in your life where you feel you already know better but struggle to do better, notice the language that you're using to describe your situation. Is it empowering/expanding you or is it limiting you? Is it coming from love or from fear?

Shift the language, shift the feeling, shift the outcome.

If this resonates with you, join us tomorrow, Saturday March 2nd @ 11am EST for "Soul Care 101: intro to spiritual hygiene."

I created a workshop to share mental models and somatic practices to help you guide your attention towards deeper self awareness, compassion and connection to that divine spark within us. We're approaching spirituality from the core values of integrity, kindness and devotion.

Doors are closing soon, see you there: https://jova-workshops.myflodesk.com/soul-care-101

From love,
Jovanny Ferreyra
Healing & Empowerment Coach
Chief of The Artidote

artwork by instagram.com/fatihgozenc

01/03/2024

27/02/2024

“...the presence
that is in itself— art
the life behind these elements

Was at some point,
my darling and muse
My love and soul.”

I lost my muse, 2024

27/02/2024

“I still could not comprehend the whys in this.”
January (Nocturne Episodes: Anthology) by Russet, 2022

26/02/2024

“We can learn a thing or two
with how the ocean gravitates to the moon's pull,
Two bodies separated in space
Pulling and reaching towards one another by force.”

25/02/2024

“...the scene replayed inside a writer’s head for a thousand times and eventually resulted in a book”

✍🏼

13/02/2024

Let me into your world and let me stay.

Let me wake you up when your nightmares weigh too much;
Let me stay by your side to watch you sleep.
Allow me to witness you waking up for a new day ahead.

Let me be the safe line between you and your limits and
Trust me to be a soft landing after your great fall.

Show me the way to your secrets and let me guide you through mine— like a maze in the middle of the field with only ourselves to find.
Let me into your world and do not push me away.
Allow me to touch a part of yourself that you have neglected for the longest time.

Let me help you figure out the horizon beyond these giant waves.
Let me help you steer the wheel for the better course to follow.
Let me know your battle scars intimately— without a hint of mockery and judgement. Let me tend to the new ones that are yet to heal.

Let me love you gently and let me teach you how to love yourself back again and remove that inhibition telling you that you forgot.

Derived from Nocturne Episodes: Anthology by Russet, 2022

Happy Valentine's Day, rosettes! 💝