06/12/2024
𝗦𝗢𝗠𝗔... "𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗜𝗦 𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗔𝗟 𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦"
Today, I will be speaking from my heart. Lahat ng sasabihin ko maraming galing sa puso ko. Today, I will take accountability for everything. Nagkamali ako and I want to say sorry for everything that I have done.
It all started last June of 2024. I was in a very dark place. I was lonely. And I was getting attention for my thing. The kind of attention that I needed.
When I sensed that there was this brewing attraction between Anthony and I, nadala ko sa emotions ko. And I knew that was wrong. I came clean right away. I told my ex everything. And I admitted things to him. And then we broke up.
It wasn't easy. It was...It was very hard for me too. I announced the breakup. The reason why I became so, so emotional during the interview because I was holding back a truth. Yan yung totoo.
I wasn't really able to simmer down. I wasn't able to reflect on what had happened.
I was working every day for days… straight weeks, straight months. Bago nagsimula yung mga dami trabaho namin, I told Anthony that I broke up with my ex. And he also said the same thing.
Mind you, I was in a very lonely place. I was so lonely. And I was so vulnerable at that time. Like everybody, nakakabreak lang. You would be so vulnerable. I was working every day. At sa lahat ng trabaho na yun, kasama ko si Anthony. Aaminin ko, sa araw-araw na punta trabaho namin, nahulog din yung loob ko.
He would be very sweet to me. He would be such a gentleman to me. He would say things to me. He would tease me on the set in front of other people. He would tell all the people who were close to me that he was single. So, I was confident to act a certain way around him on the set.
Because in the eyes of the people there, we were both single. Araw-araw kami nagtatrabaho and... September came. We went to Italy for our shoot sa teleserye namin na Incognito.
And that, doon nag-start na naging deep yung pagkakilala namin sa isa't isa. I really fell.
Noong pauwi na kami ng Italy, it was my birthday. And we were stuck at the airport. The whole day. He would say things to me that are sweet. He would say promises. We would tell promises to each other. And then nung pauwi na ng Italy, I felt so happy that I had to post something on my IG story just to appreciate him during that day.
And then pagka-uwi ko, I think the next two days, I saw a post or reposts ni Jam on TikTok.
Nakita ko lahat yun. And, at that time, yung time frame na yun, nasa screenshots din na nangamusta ako. I said, kamusta si Jam? Nangamusta ako kay Jam, it wasn't because dahil alam ko na sila pa. Dahil alam ko na she was going through something and Anthony had to take care of her. But at that time, nagtatrabaho pa rin kami and he would still be the same way to me.
I would ask him. God knows I asked him. Nagkabalikan ba kayo? He said no. Did you still love her? He said no. He would say things na ‘ako yung gusto niya’ and all. I really asked him so many times.
And then the first wave of bashing on TikTok. Masakit yun para sa akin.
I asked him, when are you gonna release a statement na wala na kayo? When? Because in the eyes of the public, you were taken. But I know that you're not. And he would be very sweet to me. When are you gonna release a statement? He would tell me, he was waiting for the right moment. I didn't want to be pushy. I didn't want to aggravate things. So I waited and kept quiet because it wasn't my story to tell anyway. I kept quiet.
October passed. We were working still every day. And then Halloween. It was the very first night we went out na medyo sweet kami sa isa't isa.
The next day, Jam posted on her Instagram story. There were no names mentioned. There were no names, but people were insinuating that it was Anthony and I. So the waves of bashing came again. I asked him again, when are you going to release a statement? God knows how many times I begged for a statement.
I begged him to fix this because I was so tired of getting bashed. He said wait. He's waiting for the right moment. I waited. I still kept quiet. I really wanted to speak up but it wasn't my story and I would look really pathetic.
Days went by. The presscon of incognito happened. He released the statement. To me, it was too late because at that time, I was slowly distancing myself from him romantically. The infatuation and the attraction died. But thank you for the statement. I thought everything was in the clear. I thought everything was gonna be okay. Ilang day sinong lumabas, lumipas.
Screenshots. When I saw, when I read it, it was 10 p.m. on a Tuesday night. When I read it, I was gutted. I was shocked. I'm truly… truly embarrassed. Dahil nakita ng tao lahat yun without my consent. Against my will. I read the screenshots over and over and over again. Ang pinaka-nashock ako doon, I read it, it was the perfect narrative. That there was this other woman. That there was this apologetic boyfriend and the avoidant boyfriend towards the other woman and the scorned woman. That's the narrative. That's her side of the story. And there's nothing wrong with that. But this is my side. This is my side. And I've been reading those screenshots.
Doon ko napagtagpitagpi lahat na kaya pala hindi siya makapag-release ng statement. Dahil sila pa pala this whole entire time. I didn't know. I was in the dark. I didn't know. I had no idea. God knows ilang beses ako natanong. Ilang beses ako nanghingi ng statement. I was…
Doon ko rin na-realize bakit ganun yung reactions ni Jam. Now I get her. I get her pain. I get her wrath. I get her anger. Kaya pala ganun. Because she was clueless about everything. I was clueless about everything. We both believe kung anong mga nasabi sa akin. Maybe iba yung sinabi sa kanya. And I can attest that iba yung sinasabi sa akin.
That's my side of the story. I have so many things to say. Hindi ka ako makapaniwala na mapapahiya pala ako nang ganito sa buhay ko.
So to the public, I'm sorry that you got to see that very intimate side of me.
Ganun talaga ako pag nagbigay ng pagmamahal. It was supposed to be private. It was supposed to be private, intimate thing. I'm sad. I'm sad na nakita yun ng tao.
And yes, I'm not, I don't want to play the victim here. Nagkamali din talaga ako. And I want to say sorry to those people I have hurt. I reached out to Jam last November. I did not get a reply. I think that was last November. Because I wanted to know what's up.
So, I'm sorry. Most especially, I'm very sorry and truly sorry to those people who supported me for 10 years. Alam nila lahat na ginapang ko yung career ko. Mapunta lang sa kung saan ko gusto. Ginawa ko lahat. Pinaghirapan ko lahat sa tulong nila. Nagagawa ko yung mga gusto ko.
I don't know where I'm gonna go. I don't know saan ako papunta. Yung dignidad ko, hindi ko mahanap.
Whenever I go out, whenever I walk, I feel like I'm a naked woman walking.
Hindi ko alam man ang gagawin ko. I'm so embarrassed. And I'm sorry that you get to see that.
But I can assure you, tuloy pa rin ako. Tuloy pa rin ang laban. Magtatrabaho pa rin ako kahit mahirap. Hindi pa rin namamatay yung apoy sa puso ko.
I'm still looking for that little girl inside of me. It's hard to look for her now. But someday, I get to find her and I will be able to hold my shadows.
What you saw was not a perfect human. I'm far, far from being perfect.
What you saw was a human being.
I’m Just a human being.
