01/02/2024
One day, when I finally stop, when my soul can no longer bear the pain, when my heart finally stops beating, you will only remember me. May be at some point regret that you didn't made the most of the time when I'm still with you, or may be glad that I'm no longer with you.
You will talk about my bad, but if you're a good heart you will talk about my good. One day when I finally return to where I belong, all that would be left for you are memories of me, but each memory will wither in time, until my place in your heart just become a null shell, a place you'd always go back to when you want, but of which you'd no longer want to dwell in unlike the way you felt home in my presence, unless you loved me deep, that my leaving completely changed you into one which prays in our Rabb, to unite us again.
It's the rule of life, to go on. It's the rule of pain, to be felt, but like how life is made to be temporary, your pain will also be temporary, and each time, you will accept that I'm already gone, far from your reach, but reachable by your du'ā. And that one day, at its decreed time, people will utter the same line, the same line you uttered when you heard the news that broke your heart, when you heard the news of my death;
"Innā lillāh wa innā ilayhi raji'ūn."
And I hope, that even when I'm gone, while the memory of me lives in your head, I'd be like a good thought for you. I'd be a calm chapter of your life. Something of which every time you'd flip the pages towards the days I'm with you, you'd feel at ease, and you'd feel glad knowing that at some point, there was a good chapter you spent with me.
Even when ups and downs were present, even when tears had to be shed, but you will remember each lesson that we both learned, each hikma, each reflection, each growth we both achieved while we are together. I hope you will ponder on them while they last in the archives of your memories. And I hope that the stories you will tell people about me, will benefit me in my qabr.
Till then, may our meeting be not full of blames, not full of asking for recompense, taking the good of each other for the short comings we never forgave, in front of our Rabb which we worshipped together.
I hope we will be among those who will be given a shade by Allāh, because we love each other for His sake in the dunyā, praying it will be extended until ākhirah.
//till then by veiled poet.