23/02/2023
A world that doesn't make sense
(By: Phil)
I don't know why I'm here. It feels like I'm trapped in a prison, forced to endure the monotony of this classroom day after day after day. Other kids around me seem so carefree, so full of life, while I'm here, drowning in my own sea of emptiness.
I did try to keep up, tried to take notes, to pretend like I care. But my mind is elsewhere. It's like I'm watching everything from a distance, detached from reality, from everthing.
The teacher's voice drones on, and I can feel my eyes drooping. I wondered, "What would happen if I just closed them and didn't open them again. Would anyone even notice?"
Sometimes I try to pay attention, to focus on the lesson. But it's just like trying to read a book in a language I don't understand. The words are there, but they don't make any sense.
I'm lost in my own thoughts like, in a maze of questions and doubts. What's the point of all of this? What's the point of anything? Of... living?
I see the other kids chatting, laughing, enjoying each other's company. They seem to have it all figured out, like they're part of a secret club that I'm not allowed to join.
Unlike for me, everything is a struggle. Getting out of bed in the morning feels like climbing a mountain. Putting one foot in front of the other feels like wading through quicksand.
I don't really understand what's wrong with me. I don't know why I can't see the world the way other people do. It's like there's a veil between me and everything else, a barrier that I can't breach.
Maybe someday, I will understand. Maybe someday, I'll find a way out of this darkness. But for now, I'm alone with my thoughts, lost in a world that doesn't make sense.