03/12/2022
MU Relationships on an Epicurean Philosophy
Like any normal student of our age, we tend to form social connections with the people around us. We converse, bond, and share memories. But the highlight of it all is to share our feelings with the person we like. We took a liking to someone, hence, we label them as our crushes. We entertain the thoughts and feelings of this potential partner of ours yet we are not ready to commit, this is where mutual understanding (MU) starts. What understanding is perceived to be mutual in that sense? Well, it depends on what both of the partners understood.
In this sense, where do we find the happiness that we are looking for in this label? According to the observations made by Epicurus on his path of the pursuit of happiness, married people tend to be miserable, in this sense, the pursuit of romance is not always the best way to seek happiness. Epicurus, on the other hand, greatly emphasizes the value of friendships. He believed that friendships are where human nature is at its sweetest.
However, where does the label MU stand? It is, after all, more than a friendship yet should have no commitments. We could identify this in Epicurus’ First Principle of Pleasure as natural but unnecessary desire. These kinds of desires require much effort yet the time it will make us happy seems to be short. It is very obvious if we observe how a MU relationship goes, you make efforts for your partner, yet if your efforts have not been reciprocated, you cannot simply demand it. Aside from the fact that it’s rude, you also are aware that you have no rights, to begin with. On the argument that love requires not expecting a reward, it is just too unfair for it to work like that in reality, no one would ever want a partner who does not know how to reciprocate. This is where it gets too chaotic for our minds and spirit to remain calm. It hinders us to attain what Epicurus called ultimate pleasure—It is by having a repose and relaxed mind. This stands to reason that for Epicurus, it is indeed a necessity to regulate our natural and/or unnatural desires so as to overcome our anxieties, which is beneficial to our mental state that has great effects on our well-being.
During the World Philosophy Day celebration conducted by the Department of Philosophy and Humanities of Mindanao State University-Iligan Institute of Technology on the last 23rd of November, guest speaker, Professor Joseph Abraham V. Bibal, who specializes in Logic, Philosophy of Man, Philosophy of Love, Philosophy of Nature and etc., emphasizes the importance of attaining happiness through the lens of Epicurean philosophy. In his lecture “How to be Happy” by Epicurus, Prof. Bibal leaves behind some highlighted sentiments to attain happiness, especially how it works in human relationships. “No matter where you are, whether you are on Earth or on Mars, no matter what position you have or what you do, real happiness is in the mind.” Similarly, in the context of MU relationships, it is not only an unnecessary desire, the happiness we obtain from it does not weigh more than the pain and struggles we gain. Therefore, the MU relationship is not only complicated but also a hindrance to our pursuit of happiness.
Ariba Pilosopiya!
Article by: Alsadjaik Ytang Sabdul
Edited by: Sarahlyn Grace Borjie
