Polly Gillespie

Polly Gillespie Writer, broadcaster and now qualified counsellor and therapist. Dip. Psych, counselling, and therapy.

Provocateur, fighter social rights and justice, flawed but a work in progress. Passions for writing, radio, interviewing, provoking and laughing...

Kombucha, candles, and unconditional love. I am beyond fortunate to be spending time with one of my beautiful blonde fri...
01/02/2025

Kombucha, candles, and unconditional love. I am beyond fortunate to be spending time with one of my beautiful blonde friends. Ya know what? I actually must have fairly healthy self-esteem. Why? Because many of my closest friends are stunning blondes. This particular friend is someone who always hands it to me straight up. There is zero appeasing me. She is fabulously blunt and direct, and I love how she can see right through my B.S. I trust her refusal to agree with my silly ramblings about love, life, and men. I tell her everything. Even when I don’t want to! Sometimes she just listens to my secrets BUT and then calls me out. She peels back the mask and gives it to me straight up. Then I have to say, “Whoa horsey! I need to take a moment to process !” After a minute of staring off in to space I reply, “Damn it. You’re right!!”. We are so alike in so many ways, and yet so different too. Like we will buy the same duvet cover, or candle without discussion. We have the same candles, fragrance, pictures on the wall…But she’s SO good at saving, and I’m perfectly ‘sh*teous’.

Ok. Now I’m pi**ed. I accidentally pushed the AI correct button. So I’m spending 30 minutes re-writing this. AI made me sound like a resume for a job at a government department. Please don’t accidentally push the AI assist option. I guess it helps some folk, but made me sound like English was my second language!Let me demonstrate. Sorry to digress, but my original writing went as follows:

We behave like giddy teenagers. We play dress up, and give each other fashions shows. Like 15 year olds before the school semi formal! We parade down her hallway in dresses we bought just in case Prince Charming invites us to the ball.

AI changed it to:

“We enjoy each other's company immensely, and our friendship is built on a foundation of mutual respect and trust. We often engage in playful activities, such as giving each other fashion shows, and we take great pleasure in dressing up in outfits that we have not yet worn”

(An hour later. After erasing all of the AI nonsense, and trying to remember what I actually wrote….Grrrrrrr!)

This is the friend I told my daughter to call if ever she was really worried about me. A few years ago, after a terrible break up, my daughter did call her. She came. She made me pack a bag, and she carried me off to her home and her heart, and provided me with refuge. She gave me a haven. She gave me love, warm soup, sleep, and a place to recover. She gave me a warm heart, soft pillows, and a place to laugh and cry in safety.

I love that she is so frikkin’ beautiful that she stops traffic. I love that she walks in to a room and people gasp. I love that she’s beautiful! Most of all I love that she is a friend who calls me out. I love that she makes me look at everything through a different lens. I love that she knows I’m a flawed, flakey, floofy giant sponge, but still loves me. I love that even though sometimes (often) I’ve been a complete dick (Always my fault!) she has forgiven me.

As humans, and as women, we need people in our lives who pick us up off the floor. Mates who pull us away from dangerous situations. Girls who live the ‘girl code’. Buddies who forgive our foibles.

I love you my spectacular, honest, stunning, magnificent, super model mate! AND..

Never accidentally push the AI correct button. It has literally taken me longer to make me not sound like a robot, than to write my original post! 😆💃

30/01/2025

How dare they? How rude! I mean…

We don’t like to lose when we quiz. As demonstrated by looks on the lads faces 😆.
29/01/2025

We don’t like to lose when we quiz. As demonstrated by looks on the lads faces 😆.

29/01/2025

Bubble time!! $12 from KMart. Hahahaha. The neighbours will think theyve been invaded by bubble aliens from the planet ‘Soaparama’. Katherine Kereama

Dont look at my messy bedroom!! Tonight I am wearing a shirt I bought in 1985. Im so glad I stored a few of my fave thin...
28/01/2025

Dont look at my messy bedroom!! Tonight I am wearing a shirt I bought in 1985. Im so glad I stored a few of my fave things from the 80’s. This is Jean Jones. Made in NZ!! It probably cost me more than my first pay I got when I worked at MSD before heading to USA for college!!

Fess up! What is your fave all time concert? Fat Freddys Drop was on🔥 But I think all time fave? Genesis at Western Spr...
27/01/2025

Fess up! What is your fave all time concert? Fat Freddys Drop was on🔥 But I think all time fave? Genesis at Western Springs! Maybe David Bowie at Athletic Park. Tough call. How about you?

(I’m
So looking forward to Summer Sounds 🕺🏻💃)

Waiting for Fat Freddy!!! With Vanessa Leigh Kereama at Brewtown. . The smell of w**d is so strong I may have second han...
25/01/2025

Waiting for Fat Freddy!!! With Vanessa Leigh Kereama at Brewtown. . The smell of w**d is so strong I may have second hand high!?! 😆

Mums in the mosh pit!! Brewtown for Fat Freddy’s Drop. Part 1.
25/01/2025

Mums in the mosh pit!! Brewtown for Fat Freddy’s Drop. Part 1.

🩷
24/01/2025

🩷

You gotta get the love you want!!Love languages..Maybe if I’dunderstood the concept years ago, I wouldn’t have made so m...
23/01/2025

You gotta get the love you want!!

Love languages..

Maybe if I’dunderstood the concept years ago, I wouldn’t have made so many disastrous relationship mistakes.

At first I thought it was a little ‘silly’, but having studied a little more about how we show love, and want love showed to us? Well, now I get it. We tend to show love the way we want to be loved, but the trick (or truth) is we show or give the love the other person needs and wants.

There are a tonne of quizzes you can do online. So go crazy. What I remember though is there are 5. They are as far as I can recall:

‘words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.’

What’s my love language? ‘Acts of service.’ I melt when someone does something for me. Mows the lawn, fixes my car, puts up a clothesline, assembles flat pack furniture, picks me up from the airport, or helps make my life easier. I wrote a couple of years back about a young man helping me at Countdown when my groceries spilled all over the car park. THAT is an act of service, and I appreciated him so much. Heart melted slightly. My neighbour Ribz (From Lisa and Ribz. Winners of The Block) came over and fixed my gate without being asked. HERO!!!

Katherine my daughter’s love language is gifts. She gives the most spectacular gifts. She goes out of the way to fill baskets with everything she knows the people in her life love. Sadly I can be the gift voucher in the gift bag gal. Words of affirmation? Nope doesn’t really ‘tune my piano’. I appreciate them, but they don’t melt my romantic old heart. Physical touch? Well that depends on my mood. Quality time? I get it, but it’s not the language that makes my soul soar.

Today I have had a bad headache and sore eye. (I look like Dracula. Burst blood vessel.) I casually mentioned to my daughter that I had nothing sweet in the house. You know. Just messenger chit chat. What arrives? A bag of treats she sent via Milkrun. Brilliant combo of gifts AND an act of service. I feel like I’ve won ‘Treat Lotto’.

You may well know about the 5 love languages, but if you don’t, do check them out. May make your relationship with your partner, friends, and family just a bit better!! It might also mean you specifically demonstrate the right type of love to each individual person in your life. I have one son who loves words of affirmation, and another who detests being complimented.

Learn the languages so you can give and get what you want. Because you deserve to be loved just right! 🩷

I have a new boyfriend. I know right? Me and the greatest male model of all time. Thank you. You will all receice ‘save...
21/01/2025

I have a new boyfriend. I know right? Me and the greatest male model of all time. Thank you. You will all receice ‘save the date’ invites soon. You? You dating anyone from your dream list right now?? Just saying it’s possible!!! 😉

21/01/2025

I understand that hedgehogs are not considered sacred. I understand they may not be protected. However, my daughter Katherine Kereama found a baby hedgehog, and has a heart SO huge that she could not help but help the wee thing out. Now me being me…I can’t resist helping out my tamariki. SO today….with unwashed hair in scrunchie, sweats, and really average make up, (Stop judging) I went on a weird mission in totally the wrong clothes!!

The look I get from my moko Malone after he’s just stolen my seat. Sneaky. Very sneaky!! 😆
20/01/2025

The look I get from my moko Malone after he’s just stolen my seat. Sneaky. Very sneaky!! 😆

Take a walk on the wild side…After dropping my daughter off to work this morning I decided to take a walk around Welling...
19/01/2025

Take a walk on the wild side…

After dropping my daughter off to work this morning I decided to take a walk around Wellingtons south coast. I had a trim latte in one hand, and my phone in the other. I used to take long hikes everyday. I haven’t for awhile. I tore my hamstrings in a most unfortunate post rugby 7’s accident.

(Full splits on polished concrete floor)

Today I drove to the coast and then I walked. I noticed various ‘types’ as I walked in my jeans and sweat shirt. (Not the normal ‘I’m out walking or running’ gear.) As I walked I happened uponat different fellow coast cruisers. There were the running smilers. The running wearing sunglasses and ear pod,non smilers. We had the friendly “Hey! Good morning!” Folk with dogs. The not so friendly permenantly frowning folks with dogs. Yes it’s a fact. Dog folk came in two categories. A. Friendly dog folk, and B. The ‘leave me and my dog alone!’ Folk.

There were the walking groups, or gaggle, of middle aged women who would be so busy talking that instead of walking single file as they passed by you, pushed you off the path and in to the bush. Oh! and even people with hand weights. They, I must say, looked particularly annoyed by my smile and lack of correct uniform..

I Know a woman now that told me that when I used to run up Mt. Victoria, as she ran down, that her goal was to try and get a smile out of me. I was horrified when she informed me that I never smiled at her. In my defence I feel I must have been either in complete and utter agony, or dreaming of a different life…

When I get out of my car and walk. No dog. No mate to talk to. No agenda..I see things. I see memorial chairs, messages, lost toys, and tributes. I breathe deeply. I touch flowers, and smell the sea air. I feel genuinely happy. The kind of happy that you can’t quite capture at the gym. I feel happy even when the woman with the dog, hand weights, and permanent frown runs by ignoring me.

So I may have looked slightly supercilious wearing flared jeans, Stolen Girlfriend(One of my fave brands, but not for serious exercise ) sweatshirt, silly sunglasses inspired by Love Island UK, and with a trim latte in hand but….

This morning I found lost dolls, lost connection to the small but beautiful reflections of the sea and sky, lost loves, and a lost passion for adventure.

So, who were you Stavros?
Who were you Santi?? Gosh I hope someone has loved me, or will love me with such genuine passion…

And thank you. 🩷💙🌈

That’s my baby girl. My blue eyed Maori!! 🩷💙🩷
16/01/2025

That’s my baby girl. My blue eyed Maori!! 🩷💙🩷

Me and my girls at the beach…
16/01/2025

Me and my girls at the beach…

A very wise psychologist explained to me once about the 90/10 phenomenon. What is it? It’s one of the common reasons peo...
15/01/2025

A very wise psychologist explained to me once about the 90/10 phenomenon. What is it?

It’s one of the common reasons people have affairs or run off to ‘Happy Ever After Land’ with the wrong person.,Turns out ‘Happy Ever After Land’ , is a private island. Some great couples live there, but you need a passport!

It could be 90/10. Sometimes 80/20. You may already know all about this, but if not, let me explain.

We are married, or partnered, and along comes someone who razzle dazzles us, or has that special something. They seem the answer to everything. HOWEVER, ands it’s big capitalised HOWEVER, often we are getting 80 or 90% of everything we need from our current spouse or partner. Inexplicably the person who offers that extra 10 or 20% appears to be the whole 100%. This may be the reason that second marriages are even more likely to fail than first marriages. Or the new person may just fill the gap. (No euphemisms implied.) Like a second string quarter back in American Football, we may end up sitting on the bench season after season, or get traded. Deep down in our primal brain we probably know this, but smoke, mirrors, and Rose tinted glasses can fight the instinct. Listen to the gut. I’m saying this you are also being ripped off in a relationship that is dysfunctional or fractured.

For the new person it’s a toughy too. They may feel flattered, elated, bewitched and beguiled.

Whats the answer? Big question. (Let’s make that big ‘BIG’.) We are human so we are going to sometimes screw up and make rash choices but..

We ask our current partner if they can give us,or are capable of giving us that extra 10 or 20% we need.

We can go to couples counselling.

We leave the current relationship before entering another.

If we’re the third party we can go to therapy, and talk it through, before jumping on the back of that white horse. That white horse might turn out to be a donkey in a fancy white horse costume.

We can listen to our gut, and acknowledge we’re only getting part of someone’s love and attention. We don’t sit on the bench. “No-one puts baby on the bench.” (I took poetic license there.)

I feel we all want to be the 100% right? Sometimes it’s hard. Especially when children arrive, or life happens. However no one wants to be a fraction.

Looking reluctantly over my shoulder, I’m pretty sure I’ve been every one of those characters, and none of it feels good. I’m a romantic, and although book smart, and pretty street smart, I haven’t always been ‘heart smart’.

I remembered the 90/10 effect while watching a movie the other night. As I ate my bowl of rashuns, and drank my Coke Zero (Also not heart smart.) I thought about all that I’ve done and been, and decided in the future I’d rather be 100% on my own, than any part of a love fraction.

I also realised you have to forgive yourself. It’s hard not to have regrets, but in the words of the great Frank Sinatra..

“Regrets? I’ve have a few,
But then again, too few to mention…”

And my advice would be to always ask your partner if you are meeting all their needs. Not in a submissive way. In a healthy ‘relationship protecting’ way. Because on the very simplest level, Love is getting your needs met.

And don’t swap out good ol’ 80% or 90% for bright and shiny 10%. Oh, and check that isn’t a donkey in a fancy ol’ white horse costume.

Wishing us all 100% love! And that absolutely includes self love.🩷 100 freaking percent it does.

Well that’s a relief. Sugar free toothpaste. Finally. Hall-e-freakin-Lujah! 😆
14/01/2025

Well that’s a relief. Sugar free toothpaste. Finally. Hall-e-freakin-Lujah! 😆

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Someone 🩷’s me!
Someone 🩷’s me!

There must be an angel, playing with my heart. Thank you not so secret admirerer AND Angel Delivery #secretadmirerwantsmechubby #angeldelivery #notsponsored #notacolab

Someone 🩷 me!!

I am not a beauty influencer…OBVIOUSLY!! 😂
I am not a beauty influencer…OBVIOUSLY!! 😂

I just like to tell you about things I find work and are good value. This is not sponsored or a colab, and not sure what’s going on with my hair 🤦🏻‍♀️😆 #notacolab #bestbeautyhack #notsponsored weardaily.co.nz

Back up and running. I’ve donated a fair bit, but have some designer brands like Trelise, even a Balenziaga, and a few treasure only worn once, or brand new, for sale. Just saving to take a special person on holiday. 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

I gotta be me!!!
I gotta be me!!!

Just a little ‘Pollyology’ 🩷

The reality of grief…
The reality of grief…

Don’t buy in to how you are supposed to process grief… 💔

The only affirmation that means anything!
The only affirmation that means anything!

Especially if you have anxiety or self doubt. #Pollyology #fyp

Kai time!!
Kai time!!

Yussss. KAI!! Ruapehu NZ Great Journeys New Zealand

I’m driving the train!! Just kidding. Northern Explorer is so nice!!
I’m driving the train!! Just kidding. Northern Explorer is so nice!!

Look out world. Here I come!! Ruapehu NZ

Hermit on the move!!!D
Hermit on the move!!!D

Sometimes it’s scary to venture outside in to the world, but here I go!! Ruapehu NZ #biggirlpants

Who knew?
Who knew?

More details to come…

What an inspiration!!
What an inspiration!!

What an incredible display of skill, determination, and athletic brilliance!! Kia kaha wahine toa!!!! #olympics2024 #RugbySevens #wahinetoa #gold #fire

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Radio perp on the rova 24/7 app and More FM. Writer of tall tales for Woman's Day. I believe in magic, authenticity, social justice, humour and kindness AND good chocolate.

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