02/12/2023
MY OLDEST MEMORY.
Looking back the memory lane, to my childhood, teenage stage, Its just full most times with mixed feelings. Its not like I didn't have a good upbringing but we're surrounded with circumstances that I wouldn't want my own child to be faced with. In all am grateful to God, it made me stronger, persistent.
In my nursery and primary school days, I grew with eye defect which caused me using the aid of eye glasses from small. It was a tough one, because I couldn't see from a far distance, some of my teachers then didn't have the patience to walk with me. I wrote slowly with tearing sight, the board was most times cleaned up on me, my note were most times not complete, I will have to borrow, take to my mum's office, write up, to ensure my notes were completed, knowing that on Fridays is note check up, any default brings punishment.
I have always been a reserved person, hardly associated, always on my own, children had experience of fun play, you hardly see me play, always in my own space, sometimes I want to know how it feels like to play but I just had this resentment within me, due to bully and mockery by school mate and even teachers.
My mum noticed, sometimes had my back, it gave me a name mummy's girl(I hated it), as at then my mum was my school headmistress. I wasn't active academically, fear of failure, comparison and had a very bad low self esteem. My mum tried all she could but didn't work.
I scaled through to basic 5 ( primary 5). My class teacher was a male this time, he tried winning me with friendship, it was frustrating but I was grateful for his patience. A certain day, I was suffering from migraine, eyes aching, I bowed my head on the desk, while teaching he noticed my head was down like one sleeping, he called I wasn't hearing, he came close, called no response, taped me, there was this aggression that bursted out, I punched him not knowing it was my teacher, still with my head down, I didn't want my swollen eyes noticed.
He embraced me in love, it was therapeutic for me. The next day, my classmates took my telescopic glasses, which was very big, and I couldn't move to avoid injury. I called out for help no way. I didn't know how it happened, I got hold of the chief planner of the coop. I poured out my frustrations and pain as a beaten on him, when I was satisfied, I let go of him, because teachers were dragging me, but I couldn't imagine the strength that exude that day, from that day I became my own warrior and build up self defense, I became more fireced and aggressive.
I was reported to my mum, she was proud of me that I could stand up for my self, and prove I wasn't weak. The only disadvantage was that my only way of expressing pain was fighting like a beast. Scare people away from me, even at some point it got to my home.
So this is me telling you one of my oldest memory that stuck with me. My fellow parents and teachers let's be patient with our kids, study them, know their fears, weakness and strength, so we don't have abused, low self-esteemed, mentally drained kids who have traumatic experience they've not healed from.
This is just one of my old memory.