01/08/2022
Novel
FLAVOURS OF LOVE
"Nonsense! It can't work! It is as absolutely impossible as it is democratically impracticable!", yells Uncle Dan as he listens to radio broadcast of Minister's proposal for the Ministry of Education in the next academic session.
Top in the list of his proposals is a compulsory HIV test for all workers in his ministry in order to give a clean bill of health to workers in the Ministry of Education. The Minister of Education, Dr. Ibrahim, believes that such medical examination has become expedient, owing to the present AIDS scourge. According him, " All workers in Education Ministry should avail themselves of unique opportunity offered by a free HIV test which is going to be conducted by his ministry in conjunction with the ministry of health.
This has become necessary in other to check the trendy widespread of AIDS in our school system".
"Ru-u-bbish! J-J-Just look at that! H-h-how can he say that?", Uncle Dan stammers his objection as Minister concludes his statement.
" At least, I've got the right to live my life as I want it, and not even the president can change it through any stupid policy. Anyway, it may be one of those white-elephant projects for which our country is known. It may not be implemented afterward", he assures himself to assuage his provoked temperament.
But contrary to Uncle Dan's expectation, the Ministry of Education, in its bid to actualize the Minister's proposal, has dispatched circulars to government schools throughout the federation to ensure the compliance of workers before the next academic session. In less than two weeks, a copy of the circular gets to Community Secondary School, Azungene, where Uncle Dan is teaching.
Expectedly, the circular ruffles the feelings of teachers, especially Uncle Dan who has been reluctant to determine has HIV status. In fact, Uncle Dan has been avoiding any hospital where HIV test is a pre-condition for offering medical services. He severally turned down doctor's requests for blood samples each time he visits any hospital on account of ill-health. Of course, his reason for this unorthodox practice is because of his incessant immoral relationship with women and he does not want to be lured into any kind of test in whatever guise, for he is obviously aware of his addiction to s*x, one of the surest ways of contacting the dread syndrome. He believes that it is quite possible to diagnose any ailment, using either urine or stool samples, both of which are by-products of water and food particles respectively. He also believes that such samples produce better and more dependable results than blood, which is merely a lubricant to the tissues of the body. Indeed, Uncle Dan firmly relies on this biological fact, and it is, of course, his scientific basis for rejecting any test that utilizes blood samples for medical investigation.
To be continued.............
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