West Coast FM 107.7

04/07/2025

04/07/2025

"Later" becomes "too late."
- Talk to you later.
- I'll call you later.
- See you later.
- We'll walk later.
-I'll tell you later.
We leave everything for later, but forget that "later" does not belong to us.
Later, our loved ones are no longer with us.
Later, we don't hear them and we don't see them.
Later, they are just memories.
Later, the day becomes night, the force becomes helpless,
the smile becomes a grimace, and life becomes death.
"Later" becomes "too late."
✍🏻: Meghna Bhatt

04/07/2025

04/07/2025

TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!!
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_______________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
_________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you sh****ng me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________
And last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

04/07/2025

I came home from work. Was tired. Sat down on the sofa. Put my feet up. Wife brought me a glass of water. Son gave me a sheet of paper English. 1 /100 Science. 35/100 Maths. 20 /100 Physics 17/100 Chemistry 02/100 I lost my temper "What is this? All the time on phone and TV. How dare you show me such marks?" Wife said: "Be patient. Listen...." I told her: "Shut up. It's your love and pampering that has spoiled him. He is no good." Wife said: "Oh. Really?" I said: "No one in our family has performed so badly ever." Son said: "Dad. I was cleaning the old cupboard and I found this." "This is your old school report card.

04/07/2025

Kom die twee ouens uit die bar uit toe die bar toemaak.
Sê die een; “Kom ons gaan na my huis, ek het daar nog twee biere in die yskas.“
Die ander een stem in en hier slinger die twee die straat af. Eerste straat regs en die volgende een weer links en weer regs.
Toe sê die eerste ou; “Jy sien hierdie straat, dis my straat.“
En hulle kom by sy huis aan en hy sê; “Jy sien hierdie huis, dis my huis.“...
Hy sluit die huis oop en hulle stap in die huis in en hy sê; “Jy sien hierdie sitkamer, dis my sitkamer. Jy sien daardie TV, dis my TV en daardie stoel voor die TV, dis my stoel.“
Hulle stap die gang af en hy maak die slaapkamerdeur oop en sê; “ Jy sien die slaapkamer, dis my slaapkamer. Jy sien die vrou in die bed, dis my vrou en jy sien die ou langs haar in die bed, dis ek.“
Hulle stap verder kombuis toe en sy pêl sê;
“Die ou langs jou vrou is nie jy nie.“
En hy sê; “Sjuut, hou jou bek, moet hom nie wakker maak nie, ons het net twee biere.“

03/07/2025

PayDay Issues
📲06h00 "Standard Bank Money In +R34 000,00 into savings account. Ref.. Avail. R33 995, 50"
📲 06h05 "Debit Paid to BMW Century City-R9950,00 Ref. 9064dkbgz. Avail. R24 000.50."
📲 06h06 "Payment Succesful -R2500.00 Car Insurance. Ref. MiWay. Avail. R21500.50"
📲 09h00 "-R1000 Paid to Dstv. Avail. R20 500.50"
📲 10h30 "Standard Bank Loan - R3000 was paid to Standard Bank Loan. Avail. R17 500.50"
📲12h59 "Tenants please do not forget to pay the rent (R7500.00) before 13h00 am I have to fix the sewerage by 10h00 tomorrow, if you don't, we are going to have an issue" Avail. R10000.50.
📲 13h30 "Dear Mr Mkhize , -R5500 was deducted from your account to pay for Child Support, regards SASSA Child Care Center Avail. R4500.50.
📲 14h00 "Hey babes don't forget to send me R1500 i will buy something when i visit you later today, i am tired of eating the same food in your place Avail. R3000.50
📲 18h00 Group Chat "Guys dont forget today we are paying R1000 for Themba's wedding Avail. R2000.50
📲 18h40 "Hey Cousin don't forget to give me R1000 I asked you you to give me last month" Avail. R1000.50
📲Bank charges R580, balance available to you R420.50
Petrol Quater tank for R400. Avail. R20.50
📲 20h00 "Jey stranger please buy me 3 Gigs data i know you got paid today 😂😂 😭😭😭"