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27/07/2024

How to apply the 3 day rule after an argument in a Relationship
Mert Şeker
Clinically Approved By Mert Şeker, Psychologist | By Noah Williams, Author
10.8k ReadsUpdated: 2 Jul, 2024
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What is the 3 day rule after an argument?10 steps to apply the 3 day rule after an argument in relationshipsWhy 3 days?Why is giving your partner space important?When should you not use the 3 day rule?Frequently asked questionsCreate a healthier space around you
Many couples have mastered the art of reconciling after an argument and declaring their continued love for one another like nothing ever happened between them.

Sometimes, things don’t go so well after some fights and you may have to apply the 3 day rule after an argument. This leaves you with all the questions.

What do I say to my boyfriend after a fight? What is the 3 day relationship break all about, and how do I use it to my advantage?

Well, this article will give practical steps to navigating these challenging times in your relationship. By the time you’re done, you will understand what to do after an argument, so you can retain your precious relationship and prevent things from deteriorating out of hand.

Ready?

What is the 3 day rule after an argument?


The 3 day rule after argument is a common practice in relationships where individuals agree to take a 3 day relationship break from each other after a heated disagreement. During this time, both parties cool off, reflect on their feelings/thoughts, and avoid communication with each other.

Considering that almost 50% of relationships in America may end up in a split, knowing what to say after an argument with your boyfriend (or significant other, as a matter of fact) might even be considered a survival skill because these moments can make or break the relationship forever.

According to Psychologist Mert Şeker

The separations brought about by arguments can also be seen as trauma. In trauma, the sentences said after the argument or the negative behaviors exhibited can cause a stress disorder. Discourses in a relationship that ended with an argument can cause trauma and post-traumatic stress. This relationship may not be easy to return, as it will create further disorder. Therefore, our discourses during or after a discussion are decisive for the return of the relationship.

When you give him three days break, you allow time for feelings to settle down and for both to gain perspective before attempting to resolve the issue at hand.

If history is any indication, anything done in the heat of anger is mostly later regretted. This is why you must understand that applying the 3 day rule after a heated argument isn’t a sign of weakness. Contrary to what you might think, it is a display of immense strength.

It signifies that you want to work things out and you’re willing to give it a go when the adrenaline rush is past its peak moments.

Here’s the catch.

While the 3 day rule after an argument can be helpful in some situations, it isn’t always the only approach for everyone. Some individuals may find that they need more or less time to cool off, while others may prefer to resolve the issue instantly.

When the chips are down, the decision about how long to wait to talk after an argument is one that you must make on your own because there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to it.

Lastly, the effectiveness of the 3 day rule relationship break depends on the individualities involved and the specific circumstances of the argument.

Psychologist Şeker says

Conflict and problem solving skills are acquired at an early age. Parents have a great role in acquiring this skill. In addition, people with conflict and problem-solving skills have high communication skills. If you are solution-oriented and a master in communication, taking a 3-day break after discussing will likely pave the way for your relationship to continue in a healthy way.

It can be a helpful tool for couples who struggle with communication and conflict resolution, but it should be used with caution and only when both parties are in agreement.

10 steps to apply the 3 day rule after an argument in relationships
The 3 day rule argument can be a helpful practice for couples who want to take a break from each other to cool off, gain perspective, and avoid saying or doing things they might regret when they have calmed down.

However, it’s important to follow some rules as you apply this rule effectively, to ensure that it does not lead to further conflict or distance in the relationship.

Here are 10 ways to apply the 3 day relationship break after an argument.

1. Agree on the rule together
Before taking a space after a fight with your spouse, you need to make sure that you both agree to it. You can discuss the benefits of taking a break after a heated argument and decide on the duration of the rule that works best for you.

As far as this is concerned, you cannot alienate the place of effective communication from the success of this rule.

Related Reading: 30 Throuple Relationship Rules for Successful Relationship
2. Take time apart
Once you’ve decided to give him 3 days (and you’ve both agreed on it), take time apart from each other. This means avoiding any form of communication, including texting, calling, or social media. Give each other space to cool off, recollect your emotions, and reflect on the argument.

Psychologist Şeker says

Perhaps the main reason for the issue you are discussing is the violation of your personal space in a relationship. Allowing yourself and your spouse 3 days of personal time can eliminate the problem that caused you to argue.

3. Focus on self-care
During the 3 day relationship break, concentrate on self-care activities that help you feel calm and relaxed. This could include exercise, meditation, or spending time with friends or family. By taking care of yourself, you will be better equipped to deal with the conflict when you come back together.

Here’s a suggested video on how to self-care for anxiety and depression symptoms. Have a look:

4. Reflect on your feelings
Use the time apart to reflect on your feelings and thoughts about the argument. Ask yourself why you replied in a certain way and what triggered your feelings. This will help you gain perspective and understand where your annoyance is coming from.

5. Identify the underlying issues
Frequently, arguments in relationships are symptoms of underlying issues that need to be addressed. Use the time apart to identify what those issues might be and think about how you can address them constructively.

6. Practice empathy
While reflecting on your feelings, try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and understand their perspective. This will help you approach the situation with more empathy and understanding when the ‘no contact after argument’ period is over.

In addition, empathy will help you to know what to say after an argument with your boyfriend.

Related Reading: How to Build Empathy in Relationships
7. Write down your thoughts
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a helpful way to reuse the argument and gain clarity. You can write a letter to your mate (that you may or may not give to them) or simply jot down your feelings in a journal.

This will also help you to know what to text your boyfriend after a fight.

Psychologist Şeker suggests

Writing a letter about your problems, keeping a diary, in short, making them concrete is one of the methods of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Doing such a concretization with your spouse after the discussion can be a very useful method for you to see the details you will usually forget.

Young couple looking at each other

8. Plan how to approach the discussion
Once the 3 days are over, plan how you want to approach the discussion with your partner. Think about what you want to say and how you want to say it. This will help you communicate more effectively and ensure that the break you took is worth it in the end.

9. Choose a good time and place to talk
When you are ready to have the discussion, choose a good time and place to talk. Avoid doing it when either of you is tired, empty, or distracted. Choose a private and quiet place where you can both feel comfortable and focused.

Fun fact, you can consider this a date and choose a magical location that reflects such.

10. Listen attentively
During the discussion, make sure to listen attentively to your partner’s perspective. Try to understand their point of view and avoid dismissing their feelings. You must consciously make your partner feel heard and validated.

The aim of this conversation is to find a result together, not to prove who is right or wrong.

Related Reading: 4 Tips to Be a Better Listener in a Relationship- Why It Matters
Why 3 days?
The duration of the 3 day rule after argument isn’t set in stone. It can vary, depending on the couple’s preferences and requirements.

However, three days are frequently considered a reasonable amount of time to take a break and gain perspective without letting the issue linger for too long.

It’s also a practical timeframe for couples who may have busy schedules or other commitments that may keep them from being able to hash out their differences within 3 days.

Lastly, the duration of the 3 day relationship break should be determined by what works best for both partners. This is why the entire process begins with having a heart-to-heart with your spouse.

At the end of that conversation, you may realize that you don’t need 3 days, or you may need more.

Why is giving your partner space important?
Taking space after a fight is important because it allows both of you to calm down, reflect on the situation, and define your next steps with accuracy. It also prevents you from saying or doing things you may regret a few days down the line.

When people are worried or angry, they frequently have heightened feelings that can cloud their judgment and lead them to act impulsively. By taking some time away from each other, partners can gain perspective and think more objectively about the argument.

This can help them approach the discussion with further empathy and understanding rather than acting with aggression.

In addition, giving your spouse space shows respect for their boundaries and feelings. It allows them to take charge of their feelings and decide to hash things out when they’re calmer.

Eventually, giving each other space can boost trust and closeness in the relationship, as both mates feel heard and admired.

When should you not use the 3 day rule?
While having no contact after an argument can be a useful tool for numerous couples, there are situations where it may not be entirely effective. There are some cases when you may want to avoid using the 3 day rule after argument.

1. In cases of abuse
Considering the effects of abuse on mental and physical health, taking a break from communication can be dangerous if there are cases of abuse attached. It’s important to seek help ASAP in these situations.

Related Reading: 8 Different Types of Abuse in a Relationship
2. If the issue is time-sensitive
If the issue requires immediate attention (for example, someone’s life is on the line), 3 days could be a long time. Consider trashing things out as soon as possible.

3. If the rule is being used as a way to avoid conflict
Some couples may use the 3 day rule as a way to avoid addressing the elephant in the room. This can produce a pattern of avoidance and distance that’s dangerous to the relationship.

Related Reading: The Challenge of Conflict Avoidance in Relationships
4. If both partners are not willing to participate
Everyone needs to be willing to take a break from communication for this to work. If both are unwilling to participate, the 3 day rule may not be effective.

However, if one person isn’t on board with the idea at first, what they may need is a little prodding.

Couple sitting on sofa

Frequently asked questions
Here are some commonly asked questions about the 3 day rule after argument and how it works. Keep reading to gain some more insight into this conflict-solving method.

Are 3 days of no contact enough?
The length of time required for the three-day rule to be effective varies. Three days may be enough for some couples to calm down, get perspective, and address the situation with a clear head.

Others might require more or less time to analyze their feelings.

Finally, the duration of the rule should be set by you. Have a conversation with your partner and decide the best line of action for your unique situation.

How long should you give someone space after an argument?
The length of time required to give someone space following an argument is determined by the persons involved, the severity of the disagreement, and the unique scenario.

In certain circumstances, a few hours may be sufficient for both spouses to cool down and revisit the issue. In other circumstances, it may take several days, if not weeks, for both partners to feel ready to communicate properly.

After a disagreement, both parties must convey their space requirements and preferences, as well as select a schedule that works for both of them.

Create a healthier space around you
The ‘3 day rule after argument’ is a guideline designed to help couples work through an argument and make amends following a quarrel.

You utilize it to give yourself time to relax and think about what transpired and define your next steps immediately. If this rule is applied well, it will also teach you what to say after an argument with your boyfriend or spouse.

The rule assists couples in resolving disagreements and ensuring the health of their relationship.

You can avoid making hasty decisions after a conflict by adhering to the ‘3 days of no contact after argument’ rule.

The rule, however, is not always useful. In some circumstances, time simply isn’t enough to fix your problems. This is why we strongly advise attending relationship counseling or hiring a coach to help you work things out if you need external help.

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Noah Williams
Noah Williams
Author
Noah loves to write on matters of the heart and mind. His experiences have taught him that being an honest friend who communicates well and giving importance to self-love can go a long way in maintaining loving relationships. When Read more
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"How to Get a Meeting with Anyone" by Stu Heinecke is a book that focuses on creative and unconventional strategies to s...
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"How to Get a Meeting with Anyone" by Stu Heinecke is a book that focuses on creative and unconventional strategies to secure meetings with influential individuals.

Here are 12 lessons from the book:

1. Creativity Opens Doors:
Embrace creative and unconventional approaches to stand out and capture the attention of the individuals you want to meet.

2. Personalization Matters:
Tailor your outreach efforts to be highly personalized. Demonstrating that you've done your homework and genuinely value the person's time can significantly increase your chances of securing a meeting.

3. Utilize "Contact Campaigns":
Implement strategic and well-thought-out contact campaigns to gradually build a relationship with your target, using a series of personalized touches.

4. Leverage the Power of Gifts:
Understand the impact of thoughtful and strategic gift-giving. A carefully chosen gift can create a memorable impression and increase the likelihood of a positive response.

5. Master the Art of Storytelling:
Develop compelling and authentic stories that resonate with your target audience. Storytelling can be a powerful tool in capturing attention and generating interest.

6. Build a Network of Advocates:
Identify individuals who already have a connection with your target and leverage those relationships to facilitate introductions.

7. Create Irresistible Offers:
Craft offers that are genuinely valuable and hard to resist. Providing unique and beneficial opportunities can be a powerful incentive for securing a meeting.

8. Utilize Social Media Strategically:
Leverage social media platforms to engage with your target audience and build rapport. Thoughtful and strategic online interactions can pave the way for meaningful conversations.

9. Persistence with Politeness:
Be persistent in your efforts while maintaining a respectful and polite approach. Consistent follow-ups, done with finesse, can demonstrate your genuine interest.

10. Innovative Communication Channels:
Explore alternative communication channels beyond traditional methods. Sometimes, a unique approach—such as using unconventional mail or creative digital outreach—can capture attention effectively.

11. Position Yourself as a Resource:
Showcase your expertise and position yourself as a valuable resource. Offering insights, information, or assistance can create a foundation for a mutually beneficial relationship.

12. Measure and Adapt:
Continuously evaluate the success of your outreach efforts. Analyze what works and what doesn't, and be willing to adapt your approach based on feedback and results.

These lessons are inspired by the strategies presented in "How to Get a Meeting with Anyone" and highlight the importance of creativity, personalization, and strategic thinking in securing meetings with influential individuals.

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14/01/2024

Awaken The Giant Within by Anthony Robbins
The Book in Three Sentences
1.Any time you want to make a change in your life, the first thing you need to do is raise your standards and believe you can meet them.
2.We must change our belief system and develop a sense of certainty that we can and will meet the new standards before we actually do.
3.It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
The Five Big Ideas
1.The three decisions that control your destiny are: 1. Your decisions about what to focus on. 2. Your decisions about what things mean to you. 3. Your decisions about what to do to create the results you desire.
2.By changing any one of these five elements—whether it’s a core belief or rule, a value, a reference, a question, or an emotional state—you can immediately produce a powerful and measurable change in your life.
3.Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.
4.It’s not the events of our lives that shape us but our beliefs as to what those events mean.
5.Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear.
Awaken The Giant Within Summary
Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards and believe you can meet them.
We must change our belief system and develop a sense of certainty that we can and will meet the new standards before we actually do.
In life, lots of people know what to do, but few people actually do what they know.
In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently.
It’s in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.
Not only do you have to decide what results you are committed to, but also the kind of person that you’re committed to becoming.
If you don’t set a baseline standard for what you’ll accept in your life, you’ll find it’s easy to slip into behaviors and attitudes or a quality of life that’s far below what you deserve.
If you truly decide to, you can do almost anything.
“The Ultimate Success Formula,” which is an elementary process for getting you where you want to go:
1.Decide what you want;
2.Take action;
3.Notice what’s working or not; and
4.Change your approach until you achieve what you want.
Making a true decision means committing to achieving a result and then cutting yourself off from any other possibility.
The three decisions that control your destiny are:
1.Your decisions about what to focus on
2.Your decisions about what things mean to you
3.Your decisions about what to do to create the results you desire
It’s likely that whatever challenges you have in your life currently could have been avoided by some better decisions upstream.
Your Master System comprises five components:
1.Your core beliefs and unconscious rules
2.Your life values
3.Your references
4.The habitual questions that you ask yourself
5.The emotional states you experience in each moment
By changing any one of the five elements—whether it’s a core belief or rule, a value, a reference, a question, or an emotional state—you can immediately produce a powerful and measurable change in your life.
Success is the result of good judgment. Good judgment is the result of experience, and experience is often the result of bad judgment.
In order to succeed, you must have a long-term focus.
God’s delays are not God’s denials.
Often, what seems impossible in the short term becomes very possible in the long term if you persist.
Remember the true power of making decisions.
Realize that the hardest step in achieving anything is making a true commitment—a true decision.
A critical rule I’ve made for myself is never to leave the scene of a decision without first taking a specific action toward its realization.
Make decisions often and learn from them.
When experiencing a problem, ask yourself, “What’s good about this? What can I learn from this?”
Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach.
Know that it’s your decisions, and not your conditions, that determine your destiny.
Everything you and I do, we do either out of our need to avoid pain or our desire to gain pleasure.
For most people, the fear of loss is much greater than the desire for gain.
Why is it that people can experience pain yet fail to change? They haven’t experienced enough pain yet; they haven’t hit what Robbins calls emotional threshold.
If we link massive pain to any behavior or emotional pattern, we will avoid indulging in it at all costs.
It’s our neuro-associations— the associations we’ve established in our nervous systems—that determine what we’ll do.
Any time we’re in an intense emotional state when we’re feeling strong sensations of pain or pleasure, anything unique that occurs consistently will become neurologically linked.
Most of us base our decisions about what to do on what’s going to create pain or pleasure in the short term instead of the long term.
It’s not actual pain that drives us, but our fear that something will lead to pain. And it’s not actual pleasure that drives us, but our belief—our sense of certainty—that somehow taking a certain action will lead to pleasure.
We’re not driven by reality but by our perception of reality.
Remember, anything you want that’s valuable requires that you break through some short-term pain in order to gain long-term pleasure.
It’s not the events of our lives that shape us but our beliefs as to what those events mean.
It’s never the environment; it’s never the events of our lives, but the meaning we attach to the events—how we interpret them—that shapes who we are today and who we’ll become tomorrow.
Beliefs are the guiding force that tells us what will lead to pain and what will lead to pleasure.
Whenever something happens in your life, your brain asks two questions:
1.Will this mean pain or pleasure?
2.What must I do now to avoid pain and/or gain pleasure?
The challenge is threefold:
1.Most of us do not consciously decide what we’re going to believe
2.Often our beliefs are based on misinterpretation of past experiences
3.Once we adopt a belief, we forget it’s merely an interpretation.
Global beliefs are the giant beliefs we have about everything in our lives: beliefs about our identities, people, work, time, money, and life itself, for that matter.
These giant generalizations are often phrased as is/am/are: “Life is…” “I am…” “People are …”
If you can think of an idea as being like a tabletop with no legs, you’ll have a fair representation of why an idea doesn’t feel as certain as a belief. Without any legs, that tabletop won’t even stand up by itself. Belief, on the other hand, has legs. If you really believe, “I’m sexy,” how do you know you’re sexy? Isn’t it true that you have some references to support the idea—some experiences in life to back it up? Those are the legs that make your tabletop solid, that make your belief certain.
Sometimes we gather references through information we get from other people or from books, tapes, movies, and so on. And sometimes, we form references based solely on our imagination.
The strongest and most solid legs are formed by personal experiences that we have a lot of emotion attached to because they were painful or pleasurable experiences.
If you develop the absolute sense of certainty that powerful beliefs provide, then you can get yourself to accomplish virtually anything, including those things that other people are certain are impossible.
The most effective way is to get your brain to associate massive pain with the old belief.
New experiences trigger change only if they cause us to question our beliefs. Remember, whenever we believe something, we no longer question it in any way.
If you question anything enough, eventually, you’ll begin to doubt it.
I’ve classified beliefs into three categories: opinions, beliefs, and convictions.
An opinion is something we feel relatively certain about, but the certainty is only temporary because it can be changed easily.
A belief, on the other hand, is formed when we begin to develop a much larger base of reference legs, and, especially, reference legs about which we have strong emotions.
A conviction, however, eclipses a belief primarily because of the emotional intensity a person links to an idea. A person holding a conviction does not only feel certain but gets angry if their conviction is even questioned. A person with a conviction is unwilling to ever question their references, even for a moment; they are totally resistant to new input, often to the point of obsession.
Someone with a conviction is so passionate about their belief that they’re even willing to risk rejection or make a fool of themselves for the sake of their conviction.
So how can you create a conviction?
1.Start with the basic belief
2.Reinforce your belief by adding new and more powerful references
3.Then find a triggering event, or else create one of your own. Associate yourself fully by asking, “What will it cost me if I don’t?” Ask questions that create emotional intensity for you.
4.Finally, take action. Each action you take strengthens your commitment and raises the level of your emotional intensity and conviction.
The way to expand our lives is to model the lives of those people who are already succeeding. It’s just a matter of asking questions: “What do you believe makes you different? What are the beliefs you have that separate you from others?”
At the end of each day, Tony asks himself these questions:
1.What have I learned today?
2.What did I contribute or improve?
3.What did I enjoy?
NAC is a step-by-step process that can condition your nervous system to associate pleasure with those things you want to continuously move toward and pain with those things you need to avoid in order to succeed consistently in your life without constant effort or willpower.
We all want to change either 1) how we feel about things or 2) our behaviors.
There are three specific beliefs about responsibility that a person must have if they’re going to create long-term change:
1.First, we must believe, “Something must change”—not that it should change, not that it could or ought to, but that it absolutely must.
2.Second, we must not only believe that things must change, but we must believe, “I must change it.”
3.Third, we have to believe, “I can change it.”
Each time we experience a significant amount of pain or pleasure, our brains search for the cause and record it in our nervous systems to enable us to make better decisions about what to do in the future.
Any time you experience significant amounts of pain or pleasure, your brain immediately searches for the cause. It uses the following three criteria.
1.Your brain looks for something that appears to be unique.
2.Your brain looks for something that seems to be happening simultaneously.
3.Your brain looks for consistency.
We often blame the wrong cause and thereby close ourselves off from possible solutions.
The difference between acting badly or brilliantly is not based on your ability but on the state of your mind and/or body at any given moment.
Emotion is created by motion.
Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear.
Our ability to change the way we feel depends upon our ability to change our submodalities.
You’ve got to be in a determined state in order to succeed.
I began to realize that thinking itself is nothing but the process of asking and answering questions.
Quality questions create a quality life.
A genuine quality of life comes from consistent, quality questions.
Questions accomplish three specific things:
1.Questions immediately change what we’re focusing on and, therefore how we feel
2.Questions change what we delete
3.Questions change the resources available to us
You and I can change how we feel in an instant just by changing our focus.
One of the ways that I’ve discovered to increase the quality of my life is to model the habitual questions of people I really respect.
The words you habitually choose also affect how you communicate with yourself and, therefore, what you experience.
People with an impoverished vocabulary live an impoverished emotional life; people with rich vocabularies have a multi-hued palette of colors with which to paint their experience, not only for others but for themselves as well.
Simply by changing your habitual vocabulary—the words you consistently use to describe the emotions of your life—you can instantaneously change how you think, how you feel, and how you live.
If we want to change our lives and shape our destiny, we need to consciously select the words we’re going to use, and we need to constantly strive to expand our level of choice.
Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible—the foundation for all success in life.
All goal setting must be immediately followed by both the development of a plan and massive and consistent action toward its fulfillment.
It’s not just getting a goal that matters, but the quality of life you experience along the way.
Remember, our goal is not to ignore the problems of life but to put ourselves in better mental and emotional states where we can not only come up with solutions but act upon them.
We must remember that all decision-making comes down to values clarification.
The only way for us to have long-term happiness is to live by our highest ideals and to consistently act in accordance with what we believe our life is truly about.
Many people know what they want to have but have no idea of who they want to be.
Remember that your values—whatever they are—are the compass that is guiding you to your ultimate destiny.
Anytime you have difficulty making an important decision, you can be sure that it’s the result of being unclear about your values.
To value something means to place importance upon it; anything that you hold dear can be called a “value.”
So often, people are too busy pursuing means values that they don’t achieve their true desire: their ends values.
The hierarchy of your values is controlling the way you make decisions in each moment.
We must remember, then, that any time we make a decision about what to do, our brain first evaluates whether that action can possibly lead to either pleasurable or painful states.
Most of us have created numerous ways to feel bad and only a few ways to truly feel good.
How do we know if a rule empowers or disempowers us? There are three primary criteria:
1.It’s a disempowering rule if it’s impossible to meet.
2.A rule is disempowering if something that you can’t control determines whether your rule has been met or not.
3.A rule is disempowering if it gives you only a few ways to feel good and lots of ways to feel bad.
Once we design our values, we must decide what evidence we need to have before we give ourselves pleasure. We need to design rules that will move us in the direction of our values, that will clearly be achievable, using criteria we can control personally so that we’re ringing the bell instead of waiting for the outside world to do it.
If you ever feel angry or upset with someone, remember it’s your rules that are upsetting you, not their behavior.
The “must” and the “must never” rules are threshold rules; the “should” and “should never” rules are personal standard rules.
Design your rules so that you’re in control so that the outside world is not what determines whether you feel good or bad. Set it up so that it’s incredibly easy for you to feel good and incredibly hard to feel bad.
The larger the number and greater the quality of our references, the greater our potential level of choices. A larger number and greater quality of references enable us to more effectively evaluate what things mean and what we can do.
Once again, it’s not our references but our interpretations of them, the way we organize them—that clearly determine our beliefs.
The key is to expand the references that are available within your life. Consciously seek out experiences that expand your sense of who you are and what you’re capable of, as well as organize your references in empowering ways.
The way we use our references will determine how we feel because whether something is good or bad is all based on what you’re comparing it to.
You are not even limited to your own personal experiences as references. You can borrow the references of other people.
Limited references create a limited life. If you want to expand your life, you must expand your references by pursuing ideas and experiences that wouldn’t be a part of your life if you didn’t consciously seek them out.
We all will act consistently with our views of who we truly are, whether that view is accurate or not.
As we develop new beliefs about who we are, our behavior will change to support the new identity.
If you’ve repeatedly attempted to make a particular change in your life, only to continually fall short, invariably, the challenge is that you were trying to create a behavioral or emotional shift that was inconsistent with your belief about who you are.
@ Folloers
I Recommend This Book For Your Reading

AWAKENING THE GIANT WITHIN-By Anthony Robbins

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