Simon Riripon

24/01/2025

Temperatures are now so high, kindly Improvise as much as you can.

16/12/2024

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT for those who will be drinking BUT NOT BUYING during Drinking Season :

1. Show maximum Respect the buyer. Call him Bazungu, chief , munene, chairman, boss,etc...

2. Greet the buyer before you sit.

3. Incase the buyer's phone goes off due to battery empty,quickly put his simcard in your phone and yours in the empty safaricom wallet. You can't be entirely useless.

4. Don't be boring, tell more stories but don't talk more than the buyer.

5. Always help the buyer with carrying beers from the counter.

6. Dance to any music that the buyer likes.

7. Buyer's jokes are always funny, so you must laugh out loud.

8. If there is only one lady at the table she belongs to the buyer.

9. When the buyer fights, fight; even if you are skinny and weak, my friend, fight! Even when the buyer is losing the fight ..fight Bro.

10. Wait for the buyer to finish his drink before you open another one, no matter how fast you drink.

11. Always drink cheaper drinks than what the buyer drink.

12. The Buyer reserves the right of choice of where to drink. And if he asks your opinion give him variety but don't make decision..

13.if the Buyer becomes drunk you too become drunk.

14.If the Buyer hates the waiter you too hate the waiter.

15.If the Buyer decides to go home you too go home.

12/11/2024

Auditor-General Nancy Gathungu warns that KenGen may lose land for its Turkwel hydroelectric plant due to missing title deeds.

The 106MW facility, completed in 1991, is at risk of land disputes without proper ownership documentation.

09/11/2024

🇰🇪 Under President William Ruto’s leadership, Kenyans are witnessing remarkable strides forward! 🛤️✨ The cost of basic commodities has significantly dropped, bringing relief to millions of households. Fertilizer prices are down, and the Kenya Shilling is now holding stable against the US Dollar, fostering confidence in our economy. 📈💪

Fuel prices have impressively reduced from Ksh 265 in June 2022 to Ksh 188 today—without any subsidies, unlike before. Essential goods like unga and sugar have also become more affordable, easing the burden on families. Plus, our tea farmers have received well-deserved payments, recognizing their hard work and dedication. 🍚🥛

Infrastructure projects that were once stalled are now completed, the sugar industry in Mumias is revitalized, and fishing in Kisumu has doubled, boosting local economies. Lamu Port is now operational, paving the way for enhanced trade and development. 🛳️🌾

Together, we're building a Kenya that’s stronger, more resilient, and hopeful. Kudos to President Ruto for steering our nation forward! 🇰🇪💯

09/11/2024

With 7B per week fuel subsidiaries by June 2022, Fuel was selling at Ksh. 265 and it was rare to find in filling stations.
Today with ZERO subsidy, the petrol is retailing at Ksh. 187.

01/11/2024

Uji ama Kifo, you have to choose one, huyu ako na bahati hajafungwa mapua...

30/10/2024

Rate the drawing...

30/10/2024

Mrng friends, Shule zimefungwa lakini jela hazijafungwa. Few seconds can make you rot in jail. Be careful.

14/10/2024

Rate the drawing...

29/09/2024

Mhindi ni Mchawi...

27/09/2024

Pronunciation of this two words in a speech "Ask -axe" bring difference between national and sub-county school alumnis...

24/09/2024

BREAKING: High Court declares Privatisation Act 2023 unconstitutional, halting the proposed sale of KICC, KPC, New KCC, Kenya Seed Company, Kenya Literature Bureau (KLB) and National Oil Corporation of Kenya.

Court finds Privatisation Act did not undergo sufficient public consultation hence making it invalid.

22/09/2024

THE MURSI TRIBE 🇪🇹

According to the Mursi Tribe of Ethiopia, The lip plate carries a number of meanings. Firstly, it’s a symbol of great beauty. Secondly, it marks a commitment to the husband because it is worn with great pride when serving him food. If the husband dies, the lip plate is removed since a woman’s external beauty is said to fade after his death.

Lastly, the plate is a powerful visual marker of Mursi identity. Without it, they run the risk of being mistaken for a member of another tribe.

22/09/2024

11/09/2024

Two friends went for an interview. One was intelligent, and the other was not very sharp, so they decided to help each other. They planned for the clever one to go first and, after answering the questions, share the answers with the less sharp friend, as the questions were going to be repeated.

When the interview started, the intelligent friend went in and began answering the questions:

**Question 1:** "When was Tanzania's independence?"
**Clever one:** "It was supposed to be in 1960, but it was postponed to 1961 for various reasons."

**Question 2:** "Who brought independence to Tanzania?"
**Clever one:** "Many people contributed, but it was Mwalimu Nyerere who finalized it."

**Question 3:** "It is believed that there is life on Mars. Is that true?"
**Clever one:** "Many people believe so, but it has not been scientifically proven."

Afterwards, the clever friend gave all three answers to the less sharp friend.

The less sharp friend then went in for the interview and was asked the following questions:

**Question 1:** "When were you born?"
**Less sharp one:** "It was supposed to be in 1960, but it was postponed to 1961."

**Question 2:** "What?! Who is your father?"
**Less sharp one:** "Many people participated, but it was Mwalimu Nyerere who finalized it."

**Question 3:** "Oh my God! Are you crazy?"
**Less sharp one:** "Many people say so, but it has not been scientifically proven!"

10/09/2024

We reject Adani!

09/09/2024

This reminds me of an interesting story similar to this one : 😂😂😂

A handsome man went into a hotel and asked to see the boss. When the boss came, the story began.

-The client: is room 39 empty?
-The boss: yes, sir.
-The client: can I book it?
-The boss: of course you can.
-The client: thank you.

Before going to the room, the client asked the boss to provide him with a black knife, a white thread 39 cm and an orange 73g.

The boss agreed though he was surprized at the weird things the client asked to have.

The client went into his room, he didn't ask for food or anything else.

Unfortunately for the boss, his room was next to room 39.

After midnight, the boss heard strange voices and noise in that client's room. Voices of wild animals and of utensils and dishes being thrown on the floor.

The boss didn't sleep that night. He kept thinking and wondering what might be the source of the noise.

In the morning, when the client handed the keys to the boss, the latter asked to see the room first.

He went to the room and found everything alright. Nothing unusual. He even found the thread, the black knife and the orange on the table.

The client paid the bill and gave the bellboys a very good tip and left the hotel smiling.

The boss was in a shock but he didn't reveal what he heard to the bellboys. In fact, he started to doubt himself.

After one year, the client showed up again. He asked to see the boss again. The boss was in a puzzle.

The client asked the same things: room 39, black knife, white thread 39cm and an orange 79g.

This time, the boss wanted to know the truth by all means possible. He spent a sleepless night, waiting for something to happen. After midnight, the same voices and noises started, this time louder and more indecipherable than the year before.

Again, before leaving, the client paid his bill and left a large tip on the table for the bellboys. The smile didn't leave his face.

The boss started searching for the meaning of everything the client asked to have. Why did he ask room 39? why the white thread? why the black knife??? In fact, the boss didn't arrive to any convincing answer to all these questions.

The boss now was eagerly waiting for the month of March, the month in which the client showed up.

To his surprise, on the first day of March, the same client showed up. He asked the same questions. Wanted to book the same room, wanted to have the same things as before.

The boss again heard the same noises, this time more louder than before.

In the morning, when the client was leaving the hotel, the boss apologized politely to the client and asked to know the secret behind the noises in the room.

-''If I tell you the secret, do you promise to never reveal it to anyone else?''
-''I promise I will never let anyone know''.
-''Swear''
-''I swear I won't reveal your secret''
So finally, the client revealed his secret to the boss.

Unfortunately, the boss was a sincere person. Until now he hasn't revealed his secret to anyone.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

If I made you smile pls bless my day with a follow ☺️🤣❤️

09/09/2024

The 20th Dec 2021, is the day that Manthi would have wished it had came earlier in his primary school days. Because he would have scored a 38/40 in the popular composition titled "The day I will never forget". He had just left his normal career duties in the local Dispensary. After that hectic day of "ndakitali nditie muongo" a warm bath made him slide into a heavy slumber and everything else around him was like a dream. But just a few dreams into his sleep, his Infinix did him injustice. Ringing with a high volume that you might mistake with the booth telephones. It was his colleague Dr. Muthama son of Kitwikia.

His shaky voice made MJ jump out of the bed as Muthama advised him to find a way to escape from his cube as the police were after him. A case of what seemed like a mistaken identity was filed against him, but since it's the work of the judge to prove so, he knew at this time what was expected of him was "kusemea mbele". He couldn't believe it, he felt like it was one of his village people chasing him in his dreams, but the loud continuous knock on his wooden door followed by "fungua ama tuingie nayo" made him come to reality. He peeped and saw a good number of boys in blue, clutching weapons of life destruction. As much as he didn't want to go and join kina Kijana Musyoki and Musumaa and at that time, he also didn't wish to ever join them with a record of sleeping in the tiny rooms where they help themselves on the buckets.

He quickly made a plan to actualize what the Son of Tseikuru has ever wanted. (kupitia katikati yao). He put on a mask, dark shades and a hat he had inherited from his grandfather. The old man had told him it was a hat of luck. He carefully opened the door and as they were about to mention the arrest threat on him, he pulled a James Bond on them and escaped from the handcuffs jaws. With a speed that could match the Botswana's Letsile Tebogo, the neighbors who had come to confirm his downfall couldn't believe they had such a talent around 😂😂😂😂. Na Athletic Kenya imenayamaza tu 🙆. It was rainy season and the fog made his visibility next to zero making his sprints "mbio za sakafuni". He unfortunately landed into a deep ditch. The fall made life escape from him for like three minutes but not long enough for him to remember that he was still running for his freedom. With his specs broken, his chest, arms and shoulders burning with pain and his face bleeding. He realized that the next time he were to play a James Bond, he would better have a closer look of the script 😂😂.

He gathered strength and pulled himself to the road, and just as he was about to clear his vision for change of direction, he felt the tip of a pistol pointing on his head, he felt that for the first time, starring was to die. What he feared most happened. He cooled his feet at Kithimani. As usual as a fresher, even before he could make use of it, it was his duty to dispose of the bucket😥😥..

TO BE CONTINUED. FOLLOW ME PLEASE.