We Made a Wish

26/08/2024

The part of the adoption process which adopters often know very little about, is the court proceedings. It's the last part of the process and signifies the end of local authority involvement once the adoption order is granted. We often hear about delays in the proceedings because birth parents want to be involved, but what does that mean? What do they have to do to be allowed to be involved?...

Click on the link in the comments to read the article.

22/08/2024

If you live in Tyne and Wear and have teenagers, this workshop is packed full of tips and tools to help you boost your teen’s self-confidence.

Click on the link to book.

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/967500619397?aff=oddtdtcreator

19/08/2024

I love discovering new books, particularly when they're about adoption. I came across this month's book as a result of being on the author's mailing list for his blog. The book is "Olly & Lilly. The Search for a New Race Team." It's written by Matt Flukes and beautifully illustrated by Lucie Cooke. Matt is dad to two adopted sons who came home forever in early 2017....

12/08/2024

I wrote this article reviewing "Games to help you connect" resource cards at the beginning of 2021. Lockdowns and restrictions were still happening and having a huge impact on our wellbeing. Thankfully, lockdown is a distant memory and hopefully something we'll never have to repeat. However, finding activities and games that help us connect as a family is always on my radar so, I thought it was a good time to re-share our review of Beacon Family Services resource packs as the games are a lovely, simple way of reconnecting and having fun together. ...

05/08/2024

Kids love to play and it's a great way for them to learn too, without them realising that's what they're doing. Getting to know your child and what they like, don't like and everything in between can be tough for an adoptive parent. Our children come to us with their own personalities, routines, trauma and so much more. In the early days as we try and understand them, finding something that's quick and easy to do that will also help to develop a connection and trust is a win-win....

29/07/2024

Emma Spillane, an attachment and trauma trainer, provides some tips and advice for parents to help them manage school year transitions....

23/07/2024

When we started our adoption journey over 10 years ago, the only books I could find to help children understand the process, were American.

And there were very few books that shared what the assessment was really like and then how it felt to come a parent to a child that grew in your heart not yours or your partner's belly.

One of my favourite things about the magazine is getting the opportunity to review some amazing books and publish ones from adopters who've found a book that has really helped them.

The book review section is full of information about some amazing books for adoptive parents to be, adopters and kids.

Click on the link to read the reviews of some wonderful books.

https://wemadeawish.co.uk/category/book-review

22/07/2024

Becoming a parent via adoption is a rollercoaster of a journey with many highs and lows and a whole range of emotions.

There were days when I thought I'd made a huge mistake as well as some that have been the best of my life.

Click on the link to read my article in sharing some of the highs and lows of being an adoptive parent.

https://smalltalkmag.co.uk/smalltalk-issue-90/

22/07/2024

50 Fun Balloon Activities is packed full or games to play with your kids that helps them learn and connect with each other....

16/07/2024

However you become a parent, the first few months of being responsible for keeping a little human alive can be terrifying. Becoming a parent via adoption brings with it a different level of stress, anxiety and scrutiny that just isn't there if you give birth to your child. It's therefore really important to have plans in place that help you get through those first few months so that you're able to start to thrive and not just survive....

This article shares the writer's experience of the first few months after placement when both her daughters came home via adoption.

08/07/2024

July newsletter 🌞 - https://mailchi.mp/838df75f1029/julynewsletter

Click on the link to read this month's newsletter and some of the recent magazine articles.

08/07/2024

Our youngest daughter has an extremely fiery temper, particularly when she's navigating change which for her, manifests as anger.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
We can usually guess what's behind her rage, but understanding what's causing it doesn't make it any easier to manage.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
If you're looking for tips about helping your child manage and understand their anger, have a look at my review of "My way to keep anger away" written by .author . ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
It's a beautifully illustrated storybook that helps children understand and manage their anger. The book has definitely helped our youngest recognise when she's starting to get angry and is helping her to learn ways to manage it.​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​
Click on the link to read the review.
​​​​​​​​
What tips do you have for managing anger in young children? ​​​​​​​​
​​​​​​​​


https://wemadeawish.co.uk/my-way-to-keep-anger-away

02/07/2024

This article looks at the mechanics of applying for an adoption order, what the court procedure is and what happens at the hearings.

Once a child has lived with their adoptive parents for at least ten weeks, an application can be made to the family court for the adoption order. The granting of the order marks the end of social services intervention in the child’s life although support is available via post-adoption support. Thi...

02/07/2024

I'd love to know what stage of the adoption process you're at, whether that's at the early stages of information gathering to find out if it's for you, or an adopter whose child has been home for many years.

Leave a comment and let me know.

A big part of this page and the magazine is to share adoption experiences so that we can all learn and find out the realities of the process from the assessment to placement and beyond.

So, if you'd like to share your experience, please get in touch. It can be anonymous if you prefer.

And let me know if there's a particular topic you'd like me to cover, particularly if it's something that hasn't been covered before.

If you're starting to think about adoption, I'd recommend reading my book "An Adopter's Guide to Adoption." I wrote it because it's the book I wanted to read when we were starting our journey.

The agency's website sites gave an overview of the process. But that didn't really tell me anything.

I wanted to know whether we were too old. What it was like talking to a relative stranger and bearing our souls during home study. And how long it would take. And what happens during matching? And eleventy billion other things!

I struggled to find a blog or book that did that, so I wrote my own. It's a combination of a step-by-step guide to the process, with snippets of our journey to illustrate how we managed some parts.

It's available from Amazon, just click on the link in my bio to buy the paperback or Kindle version, or leave a comment or send me a DM and I'll send you the link.

If you've got any questions about the process, please ask and I'll do my best to answer them.

28/06/2024

By Elena Chow Are you DIYing your website copy and feel low-key judged by your blinking cursor? If you’re a freelancer or founder who has found themselves wearing the “website copywriter” hat that you didn’t know came free with going “all in” on your business idea, then you’ve come to the right place. Because writing your own website, in a way that sounds and feels like the…...

Elena Chow shares some tips to help you write your website copy so that it connects with readers and helps them get to know you

20/06/2024

Are you juggling running a full-time business with part-time childcare? Read Elena Chow's tips on making it work.

Copywriter shares some tips about running a full-time business with part-time childcare when your child is pre-school age

18/06/2024

Cygnet Law specialise in family law, providing advice and support about all aspects of adoption.

Cygnet Law are specialist family solicitors based in the North East of England, providing advice about all aspects of adoption

11/06/2024

This is a collaborative post. In today’s fast-paced digital world, creating an inviting outdoor playtime area for children is crucial for their physical and emotional development. Gardens, often seen as havens of tranquillity for adults, can also be transformed into thrilling playgrounds for kids. With the right setup involving imaginative Outdoor Toys and a creatively designed Playhouse, your garden can become a beloved space that encourages your kids to play and explore outdoors....

Outdoor playtime for kids is not only a great way to entertain them in the fresh air, but's its also a great way to learn.

11/06/2024

A month of book reviews 📚 - https://mailchi.mp/3bdf05801c54/summernewsletter-17820498

I've been reviewing lots of children's books over the last month. Head to the book review section of the magazine to read my reviews and find out about some wonderful new books that support our children with a range of issues.

11/06/2024

Are you looking for a more sustainable way of buying clothes and toys for your kids? Read today's magazine article which looks at the damage fast fashion is doing to our environment, and offers an alternative way of shopping.

KiDSiE is passionate about creating a sustainable environment through selling eco-friendly clothes that are saved from landfill.

11/06/2024

Adoption disruption is the most searched for topic in the magazine. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​It's something that happens more than we think, but it rarely gets talked about openly.

Adoption disruption is basically when an adoptive placement breaks down. That can be for a single placement, or one child placed as part of a sibling group.

It happens for a range of reasons, usually to do with inadequate assessments, lack of information at the matching stage, or poor or no post-placement support.

It's vital that we have open and honest conversations about disruption so that those thinking about adoption understand it and know how important it is to ask all of the questions and push for honest answers.

It's also important that those who think they may be on the verge of it, or going through it, know that they're not alone.

Just as there are lots of different reasons why it happens, the way it happens differs as well.

There are several articles in the magazine about disruption ranging from stories from adopters who've been through it, to an article from a solicitor about how they can help, and one about the most common reasons and information about where to get help and support.

If you'd like to find out more, comment "disruption" and I'll send you the links to the articles, or click on the link below.



https://wemadeawish.co.uk/?s=adoption+disruption

07/06/2024

Nightmares are something most kids experience at some time or another. They are afraid of sleeping in the dark and their imaginations get the better of them, filling them with fear about what is hiding under their beds and in the dark corners of their rooms. Both of our girls preferred sleeping in pitch dark when they were babies. But as they get older, they both need to sleep with some kind of night light as they've become scared of the dark and what might be hiding there....

Katie Pickle and the Monsters Under the Bed helps young children manage their worries and fear of the dark, helping them sleep well

07/06/2024

I've enjoyed reading the new books I've been reviewing for Austin Macauley Publishers and "Word Worries" written by Tracy King is no exception. I was gifted a digital copy of the book so that I could review it. It landed in my inbox at exactly the right time as both our girls struggle with their worries. Our eldest is good at explaining what's on her mind but our youngest is totally different....

Word Worries by Tracy King helps young children understand worries and manage them using yoga poses to unlock their superpowers

03/06/2024

Once an adoption order is applied for, birth parents are notified and allowed to ask to oppose it. ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​However, the court has aired all of the options for rehabilitation during the care proceedings. By making the adoption order, it has concluded that any prospect of rehabilitation doesn't fit with a timescale that is appropriate for the child.

So, being allowed to file a statement to evidence the change they've made doesn't mean they will successfully oppose the order. Far from it.

Birth parents have to show that they have made significant changes in their lives that have been sustained over some time.

And even if they can show that, the court has to conclude that it is in the child's best interests to be removed from their current placement, placed back into foster care, and then potentially move to live with their birth parent.

That's a huge hurdle to get over.

This part of the process can be really tough for everyone.

It can give birth parents false hope that they are going to be allowed to challenge the application successfully and cause them to re-live their loss and grief.

It's also an incredibly stressful time for adopters who are trying to keep things as normal as they can for their child, having at the back of their minds that the court could refuse their application and their child could be removed.

The reality usually is that if birth parents are allowed to file a statement, that's as far as it goes. They may well have made some changes to their lives, but in most cases, they are not enough to be able to safely parent.

What is your experience of the court procedure for the adoption order? Did birth parents ask to oppose it? What tips do you have for other adopters to help them manage this part of the process?

03/06/2024

Separation anxiety is something that affects a lot of children. It's something that many adopted children experience often as a result of the number of moves they've had in their early lives which can lead to attachment difficulties and separation anxiety. Every child deals with it in different ways. Some express their anxiety openly by crying and perhaps clinging to their parent or carer....

Separation anxiety is something that affects a lot of children. It’s something that many adopted children experience often as a result of the number of moves they’ve had in their early lives which can lead to attachment difficulties and separation anxiety. Every child deals with it in different ...

27/05/2024

Moving up to a new school year can be a challenging time for all children, but particularly those who don't manage change well. This article which is written by Emma Spillane and originally published in 2021, is packed full of tips and advice for parents to help make the transition as easy as possible. Managing school year transitions (Part I) – supporting endings from home…...

20/05/2024

When life is full-on as a parent it can feel like there's little time to do anything for ourselves. But making time to look after ourselves is key if we want to keep up with the kids and be present. For me, exercise is a key part of looking after myself, but I struggle with it the most. I never seem to have time when I've got the energy and when I have the energy, I don't have time....

This article provides exercising tips for busy parents to help show how we can fit it into our daily routine

20/05/2024

The court procedure is the part of the process that adopters have the least control over and has to potential to be extremely stressful for everyone.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Each courthouse and local authority will do things slightly differently, but the basic procedure is the same.

The adoption application is filed with the court along with the fee. Once it has been processed, notice is sent to birth parents who have the opportunity to respond.

Delay often happens at this stage if birth parents have moved and so the papers are returned. Enquiries then have to be made to find where they're currently living so that the papers can be served.

Once the court is satisfied the papers are served, a hearing date is arranged for birth parents to attend. At that hearing, they can indicate they would like to ask for permission to oppose the order being made.

This will only be granted if they can show that there has been significant change since the Placement Order was made.

The court will often give them the chance to submit a statement to evidence the change. It's important to note though, being allowed to file a statement is a long way from the court accepting that they've made significant change.

So, whilst this stage does make the process longer, it doesn't mean permission will be granted.

If it is granted, a full hearing will take place.

If permission isn't granted, or their application dismissed after a full hearing, the adoption order is granted.

The court may then fix a "celebration hearing" for the child and adopters to attend. This is an informal hearing as the order has already been granted.

If you'd like to know more about the detail of this part of the process, leave a comment and I'll send you the link to articles about it in the magazine.

14/05/2024

Spring newsletter 📰 - https://mailchi.mp/1b0e69b1e4c7/springnewsletter-17816117
Sharing some of the latest articles in the magazine as well as a request for sponsored posts and article contributions

14/05/2024

Applying for the adoption order signifies the end of a long road of social services involvement with your family.​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Once your child has been home for at least 10 weeks, you can apply for the order.

Some people count down the days until they can apply. For others, 10 weeks is far too soon because there are still support plans and other things that need to be sorted out before the order is applied for.

Because the granting of the adoption order signifies the end of your child being classed as "looked after" by the local authority, they no longer have access to the available services for looked-after children.

So, if your child has complicated needs, or issues have arisen post-placement and support is needed, it's best to wait until all of that has been resolved before you apply for the order.

When you are ready to apply, check with your social worker about how it's done in your area. Some social workers will complete the paperwork, submit it to court, and the local authority pays the fee.

Other areas will require you to complete the application, submit it to court, and pay the fee so make sure you know whose responsibility it is so that it's not delayed because you think your social worker is doing it.

Our local authority did ours both times and they paid the court fee.

If you have the adoption order, did you have to complete the paperwork, or did the local authority? How did you find completing the application if you had to do it?