Rats

29/10/2024

Will be attempting to live stream a show featuring a live band what could possibly go wrong.... I've put a Halloween curse on anyone who has not bought a ticket.

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27/10/2024

It's the Rats recap! No one is doing this type of content to promote a live night. Look forward to seeing it being copied soon.

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23/10/2024

Biggest Rats show ever. Halloween party like no other. Book your tickets now. www.ratscomedy.com

22/10/2024

Tonights live link. You know what to do.

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17/10/2024

You can't say I don't stop making and posting content all the time.

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16/10/2024

Well, well, well it's another Rats Recap. Taking it out of the meta verse and trying the Ratsverse?

Tuesdays show consisted of three audience members all of whom were suffering from involuntary muteness. Every question was rebutted with stoney silence and grim looks, I turned to the live stream in the hope one of the four people watching might interact with me give me something to build the night....

15/10/2024

Tonights live stream link. But better still come and watch live. Audiences have been a little light this new season and we are trying to build something a little different to your traditional comedy night.

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13/10/2024

Is this comedy? Is anyone laughing? What am I doing.

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09/10/2024

RATS 08.10.24
I went into the night feeling very positive. Advance ticket sales were surprisingly good. In order to elicit the illusive walk up audience I have invested in a chalk board to put outside the venue. Instead of bringing walk up it has bought rain, torrential rain on both weeks thus rendering the £50 spent on it completely useless. One because people don't walk around when it's raining and two chalk is not waterproof, in fact it is the opposite of waterproof, there is not a less waterproof substance known to man than chalk. So instead a black board with iledgible writing sat outside advertising nothing to no one. We can't be accused of false advertising.

My mood was not helped when two members of staff both equally awful at regulating their emotions and communicating in a manner befitting of human being and not sentient excrement did not show up for work meaning our team of five was reduced to three. This meant I had to host the show, produce a live stream, operate a camera and manage the door in a sort of post modern vaudeville interpretation of the plate spinning act where audience had to work out what was an act and what was a man doing four jobs at once badly. As i pondered why the worlds most dysfunctional humans keep attaching themselves to the night like barnacles cleaning a whales ar****le I realised I had zoned out for most of the show and we were in the second half .

Watching the tapes back this morning I had missed the usual conveyer belt of different shades of white men talking about problems they have on dating apps. The loudest round of applause was when we instigated a giant game of guess who where Rusell picked an audience member and I had to guess who it was. The quietest moment was when an act styling themselves as "Jay The Gay" got on stage and did what I would describe as autism.

A famous comedian was supposed to join us on the post show podcast but as the show was so depressing we wrapped it up early to put us all out of our misery and instead hosted two guests who were ploice officers, one of who was the aforementioned Jay The Gay whom admitted he'd been to the s*x dungeon we used to host the night at and was urinated on there regularly. As the chalk board dripped illegible chalk upstairs and we all imagined Jay the gay dripping in urine downstairs a new low in British show biz history was unlocked.

08/10/2024

Link for tonights stream! Show starts at 730. Get involved.

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06/10/2024

You've read the post now watch the video.... joking aside imagine taking the worst night of entertainment imaginable and turning that into a watchable video.

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02/10/2024

I, more than anyone have defended Rats as a "good night" but i cannot in good faith defend last nights latest offering of "entertainment." It was in the top three bleakest nights at Rats and those of you who have followed the night over the years know that I do not say that lightly. We've lost our only paid member of staff, stage manager Mike, who supposedly found it unreasonable to charge females to use the toilet in order to help cover his salary. He was last seen busking in Leicester square in a rat mask singing a song about kidnapping children, we are deeply concerned for his welfare.

The audience consisted of three civil servants who were subjected to some of the worst comedy to ever to grace the stages of Englands decaying shores. Mysogonotic act after mysogonistc act strode to the stage to belittle obese women on Hinge and wave their dicks around to the shock of our tiny audience which was even smaller than the pen*ses of the acts performing.The audience did increase slightly in the second half as two German engineering students where press ganged into staying after mistakenly wondering downstairs to find a toilet. As I had used up all my audience interaction in order to get some momentum from somewhere we were left with no choice but to google Civil Servants pensions as Russell head of vibes had heard they were generous. I had not envisaged at this stage of my career that the highlight of a show I was hosting would be two German student engineers looking perplexed as we scrolled through the eye watering figures of pensions for civil servants. I've spent 2.5 k on this night and put an unquantifiable amount of emotional investment into it to create what essentially is a night that has more cameras then people there on a weekly basis. I will make this a good night of entertainment even if it kills me.

01/10/2024

Don't forget to heckle from home tonight. Here is the steam link for anyone who can't make the live show. As always we go live around 1930. we endeavour to start on time.

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29/09/2024

You've read the Rats updates and have had to use the darkest recesses of your imaginations to conjure up what was happening at Londons bleakest comedy night. Well it's sunday, so give your imagination the day off and just sit back and experience the true horror of Rats in a short nine minute video in this exciting new feature... it's the Rats Recap!

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26/09/2024

ITS THE RATS RECAP
Rats has for some reason only known to the people who run it returned. And what a start to the second season in our new home. Recovering from a hefty cold as my body finally surrendered to months of stress I dragged my ill self to Soho to host the show. I struggled to work out what was more painful the virus invading my body or the acts material invading my soul. After arriving at 6am to set up finally Mike our stage manager had the show ready to go at 7pm with an ambitious thirty chairs, four would have been fine as that's how many people turned up. Unless we are counting the women who used the toilet as throughout the night, what felt like hundreds of them slammed the downstairs door walking through the show to use it. There is a vicious rumour swirling around this morning that I told Mike to force them to pay to use the toilet this couldn't be further from the truth I simply told him to suggest it. THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SUGGESTING AND FORCING.

We were honoured to have Josh Glanc Edinburgh award nominated comedian join us as always the night doesn't quite know what to do when someone actually talented performs but normal service was resumed from there on in as the night dribbled to it's usual sad conclusion. In a change to our scheduled programme Ed our marketing manager who has overseen a steady decline in ticket sales (which I'm not even sure how that's possible) since taking the role got up on stage and closed with an opera song. If only he showed the same talent for marketing as he has for singing we might actually finally sell some tickets for this show and ruin more peoples lives than just mine.

24/09/2024

TONIGHTS LIVE STREAM LINK

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23/09/2024

Welcome to our new weekly feature, giving you an insight behind the scenes of Londons most chaotic comedy club. It's Mike the Stage Managers back stage diary....

https://youtu.be/sqh24E2HmuM?si=YBjzlZct96p8bOxX

Who's coming tomorrow? https://www.fatsoma.com/p/rats

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15/09/2024

New feature when an act wins the show, bespoke video and song. Enjoy the road to fame and fortune sweet Alejandro. May all your comedy dreams come true.

No Rats this week but back on the 24th.
https://www.fatsoma.com/p/rats