28/01/2022
https://www.facebook.com/100063011122609/posts/294414279335607/
Thankyou all so much for your kind words on our earlier post 😘
This mornings scenes from the accident hit pretty hard for me and opened up Pandora's box, unleashing 17 years worth of suppressed emotions and trauma that I had tactically sealed away at the back of my mind since 13th May 2015.....that's a long time right! 😳
I had just turned 15 and been bought my loan horse (Tara) only a month earlier as a birthday present. We were riding on our way to a show the evening before to stable overnight, when we were hit by an artic lorry at 40 miles per hour! 😢
I shouldn't be here today writing this, but those guardian angels did a damn fine job, unfortunately their powers weren't strong enough to protect my beloved horse too, and she passed away on scene just before the vet arrived. 💔
At 15 I was a bit of a tough nut and seemingly moved on from the accident pretty quickly, with the words "I'M STILL GOING TO RIDE!" being determinedly said to my parents the next morning in hospital. I guess my thought process at the time was 'if I give up riding now, Tara will have died for nothing' and so I soldiered on and was back on a horse within the week and here I still am now riding it like I stole it 🙈😂
Today though, reality has really hit home and whilst crouched cradling the head of an animal in the final moments of her life, I found myself having flashbacks from the accident all those years ago. Once all was attended to and the surviving pony had been taken to a safe place, my attention turned back to myself. Whoa did it hit me like a freight train!
I realised that I have never actually taken any time to greave what happened to Tara and so the rest of the day I have spent processing my feelings and remembering what happened all those years ago (I never realised but my mum kept a newspaper report) and appreciating the horses I have now. You'll be glad to hear that Pie had his therapist hat back on tonight and gave be a big long backbreaking hug when he came in🥰.
People see me as bubbly, outgoing, confident (and probably many other words to throw in there 😏), but I have mental health issues to deal with as much as the next person and the struggle is real!
RIP both you beautiful creatures, safe journey over rainbow bridge 🌈
