The Executor's Helper

06/09/2024

I never know what I might find when I’m sorting out someone’s belongings after they’ve gone. Sometimes it’s things that are best found by me and not family. Sometimes it’s unexpected treasures. Last week I found three urns containing the ashes of much loved dogs, hidden in the back of a dark hall cupboard. As any of my friends will tell you, I prefer dogs to humans, so it got to me that the remnants of three faithful companions had been left behind and forgotten about.
I always aim to find the most appropriate solution to any situation. So this evening I packed the urns in my rucksack and took them up the hill for my evening walk. It was a misty night with the haar blowing in, the trees appearing and disappearing. I found a peaceful spot and scattered all the ashes in the heather. Now the canine spirits of Jack, Breagha and Bracken are free to bound about the hills and not be stuck in a cupboard, or end up in landfill. To me, that’s the best solution.

06/03/2024

Stopped at the Commando monument for a quick cup of tea on the way home from a job. Not a bad view. Big thanks to the dream team John Allison and Gordon Allison for an excellent job, efficient and cheerful as always. Thanks, guys.🙂

05/02/2024

Sorting things out after someone has died isn’t always pleasant. It can be a real mess. It doesn’t just involve a few trips to the charity shop with bags of clothes and kitchen utensils. Nor simply sifting through a trinket box full of jewellery or finding a home for the ancient tools in the garden shed. There’s usually lots more to deal with, and often decades worth of junk too.

It’s the culmination of a lifetime of collecting: clothes, mementoes, books, paperwork, rubbish.
All adding up to too much stuff!

Most of us are guilty of keeping too much, it’s easy to do, particularly if you have plenty storage space and haven’t moved house for years.

It’s understandable that things begin to slide as someone gets older. Maybe they can’t manage the cleaning, or can’t see what needs done. Maybe they close their mind to it all.

Sometimes habits and behaviours have got out of control, such as hoarding, shopping or not opening the mail. Things can then pile up, impacting on everyday life, making it impossible to clean or keep things tidy, overwhelming the person and anyone trying to help them.

It can be the result of years of neglect due to psychiatric or substance abuse issues: not allowing anyone else into the house to help; not wanting anyone to see the mess; a chaotic lifestyle that gets worse over time.

I deal with situations when the aftermath is too much for the family to deal with, particularly when they’re already dealing with grief, loss and all the other emotions that a death brings to the surface.

The state of some places is often grim, but it’s been someone’s home and life so I treat it with respect and get the job done. A hazmat suit and a slick of Vicks under my nose to mask unpleasant smells, prepares me for the worst.

So if you are faced with a situation like this that you can’t face, please get in touch and we can discuss how I can help.
[email protected] or 07786 123323

17/01/2024

Kishorn Seafood Bar have you seen this gorgeous brooch in this week’s Frasers Auction Room sale? Surely someone will buy it for you as a late birthday present?

27/11/2023

Do you know someone whose desk looks like this? Maybe it’s yours? It doesn’t seem to matter what you do, it never gets any better. You’ve convinced yourself that you can find everything you need, but actually waste time shuffling through the paper mountain trying to locate it. You know it’s in there somewhere.
We were conned into thinking that the advent of computers would mean a paper-free office: all it means is that we pay for our own ink to print off documents. And then there’s the added confusion of having some transactions online and some still paper-based. You feel you need to keep everything, just in case.
It’s so easy to get overwhelmed, whether it’s by paper or anything else. Things pile up without you realising and gradually swamp you, affecting your efficiency and mood.
I know I should get out more, but there’s nothing I enjoy more than organising someone’s paperwork. It’s so satisfying finding order in the chaos and transforming the paper mountain into a tidy office. So if you, or a friend, need a helping hand to sort out your paperwork or untidy office, get in touch.
[email protected], 07786 123323

20/11/2023

When my aunt died a few years ago, she bequeathed one and a half desks to me, and half a desk to my sister.
Yes you read that correctly. I don’t know what she thought either of us would do with half a desk, or why I deserved a whole desk as well. It’s not as if we could share the desk as we live sixty miles apart. But that’s what she wrote in her Will. I wonder what the solicitor who took her instruction thought of her wishes?
The desk in question was a mahogany bureau with a glazed bookcase on top. As a child I thought it was the most glamourous piece of furniture and desperately wanted it. We discussed at length how we should divide it, deciding that a chainsaw would probably be useful. Should we cut it horizontally? Diagonally? Vertically? Would we end up with two legs and a drawer each? Or two half drawers and a pile of broken glass? This could get messy. The possibilities were endless. Who knows what was going through our aunt’s mind when she came up with that idea for her bequest?
Luckily an outbreak of woodworm solved the problem and both halves of the desk went to the dump. We’d tried our best to follow her wishes but some things aren’t so straightforward. At least we had a laugh about it. We didn’t call her Crazy Aunt for nothing!
It’s really important to write a Will, so that those you leave behind know what your wishes are. It doesn’t have to be complicated, nor involve sawing furniture in half, but get it done. It saves so much heartache, delay and expense for your nearest and dearest once you’re gone. It makes life easier for everyone involved. Speak to a solicitor and make sure your final wishes are written down properly. Even if your wishes are a bit mad.
www.theexecutorshelper.co.uk

14/11/2023

People ask if I get sad or upset when I’m sorting through the belongings of someone who’s died. I don’t, but sometimes I come across something that makes me stop and wonder about their story.
I found these tiny gloves and bootees, carefully wrapped in a scrap of newspaper and sealed in an old sweetie tin. It didn’t look as if they’d ever been worn, but someone had knitted them lovingly for a baby. And kept them all these years, buried in the bottom of a trunk among blankets and embroidered table linen. The date on the newspaper was 1948 and the tin was a souvenir from the British Empire Exhibition held in Glasgow in 1938. Vital clues for a family historian. But there’s no family left: that’s why I am dealing with the lady’s possessions. What happened to the baby? Was it a hoped-for baby that was never born? Or a baby that didn’t survive? We’ll never know. It was a poignant moment for reflection in a busy day of work.
I took the tiny items home and gently washed them, hoping to remove the stains left by the rusting tin, but without success. They’d obviously meant a lot to someone and deserved to be treated with respect. But there’s no one left to hand them on to.
So if you keep mementoes and heirlooms, write down the story behind them, so that someone knows why they were important to you and your family. It’s what family history is all about.

30/09/2023

Great day volunteering at Inverness Women's Aid. Fantastic turnout of enthusiastic helpers and a very tasty BBQ provided. Met lots of interesting people. Now got my feet up with a glass of wine. 🍷

18/04/2023

Are you surrounded by clutter and overwhelmed by your possessions? Our personal belongings hold memories, stories, and emotions, but as time goes on, they can accumulate and create clutter, both physically and mentally.

Head to the latest latest blog post to understand the importance of organising personal belongings, both in life and after we die, and how it can leave a meaningful legacy. Don't wait until it's too late. Plan ahead and communicate your wishes to make it easier for your loved ones. Remember, you’re not alone and help is always available: https://www.theexecutorshelper.co.uk/post/how-to-organise-personal-belongings

14/03/2023

There is a lot to process when a loved one dies. Grief can be difficult to navigate on its own, but when you must organise paperwork and a house after someone dies — there is a lot more to think about.

In this guide I share my tips to sorting through documents, mementos and paperwork which may have piled up over the years. It’s important to remember you don’t have to face this alone and that help is available. https://www.theexecutorshelper.co.uk/post/organising-paperwork-after-someone-dies

03/02/2023

What do you do when someone you love has died?

Grief is a natural response to the death of a loved one and it can be overwhelming to tackle everyday life as well as try to take charge of the admin that comes in the aftermath of somebody’s death. However, you do not have to face this alone. It is okay to ask for help and to take breaks along the way. My latest guide outlines some of the most important steps to follow in the weeks and months after someone has died and how you can seek assistance when you might need it: https://www.theexecutorshelper.co.uk/post/what-do-you-do-when-someone-has-died

17/01/2023

Yesterday was Blue Monday ? It looked more like White Monday here at the Dingwall War Memorial. Highland palm trees must be pretty tough to withstand the snow. Is there much snow where you are ?
www.theexecutorshelper.co.uk

16/09/2022

The kitchen table is enjoying its new life- as a kitchen table. It's no longer a dumping ground for paperwork and all the things no one can face dealing with. Let me help you lose the mess and lose the stress. Get in touch on +44 7786 123323 or book a FREE 30 minute consultation and we can come up with a plan. https://calendly.com/executorshelper/free-30-minute-consultation

09/09/2022

30/08/2022

Text or email me as Messenger doesn’t work. Look forward to seeing you all soon.