Split the Difference CIC

28/06/2024

Hi All,

I am a licensed Circle of Security Parenting Facilitator and want to make this available for groups to access (it is the cheapest way I can run it to make it as accessible as possible).

https://www.simplex-coaching.com/circle-of-security-parenting-cosp

This is a course focusing on 50 years attachment theory. I became accredited on the request of a solicitor and actually having a therapeutic background found this to be one of the best parenting courses I have ever been part of.

I didn't intend to deliver this again, did the training and run it one to one, for a dad who was looking for a non bias facilitator, but I can see the benefits for parents wrapped up in family court, children's services or mental health.

My research has shown that children's services, CAMHS, family court professionals and health, i.e. health visitors are referring to this 8 weeks program, Its online but I am thinking of running live groups also.

I can't ignore that this could really benefit mums, dads, caregivers and children. Can you share, there are elements that can also support reattachment if parents have been alienated and re-engaging.

Circle of Security Parenting Program There is a key to unlocking your child's potential for a bright and secure future. Every child deserves, and benefits from a foundation built on secure attachment and understanding. We know that a child's ability to thrive hinges on feeling connected to someone w...

16/01/2024

This needs to be signed and shared, the UK government has already been dragged into the UN court of human rights, put on sanctions that it refused to work to over the su***des of disability citizens left with no support.

From being taken back a second time it still seems to want to neglect the vulnerable.

Please share and sign.

The government has announced changes to disability benefits which will deny vital support to some people who become seriously ill or disabled from next year. They could also face sanctions if they do not comply with specific work-search expectations that could threaten their wellbeing. Working age d...

10/01/2024

Hello all,

Can I ask a favour please, the email below is an APPG group we are connected to and they are reaching out for help. They are asking people send an email into their MPs which they have prewritten, would you kindly have a read and share to as many people as you can.

The All-Party Parliamentary Group for Fatherhood faces removal from the APPG Register

Dear colleagues and friends of the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Fatherhood

I am writing to ask you to lend your support to the Fatherhood APPG in our hour of need. You may be aware that the APPG structure has been under review for some time, and that last year, a report was published suggesting a slimming down of current numbers. New rules have now been put in place requiring Groups to have a minimum of 20 registered members from across Parliament. We are also still in need of a Chair to replace Andrew Gwynne, who stepped down a few months ago. Additionally, restrictions on MPs mean they are now limited to a maximum of 6 APPG memberships.

Despite the importance of our subject and its far reach across society, and despite our best efforts to engage new members, the Fatherhood APPG is struggling to meet these new criteria, and we face deregistration at the end of March if we fail to become compliant by then.

How you can help!
We urge you to contact your own MP to ask them to consider joining our active, influential and topical group. You can find out the name of your MP, along with their contact details, here: https://futuremen.us20.list-manage.com/track/click?u=8a9b8be1ca2b461f7beed9706&id=373174d2ef&e=a3329b3ab1

You may find it helpful to use the following template:

Dear [MP’s name]
I am contacting you to ask you to lend your support to the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Fatherhood, which is seeking a new Chair, as well as to grow its membership in order to comply with the new APPG rules by the end of March 2024.
The Fatherhood agenda is very much on the electorate’s minds at present, with increased awareness of the impact of fathers’ presence on childhood development during the Early Years, a lively public debate ongoing about the division of domestic labour and childcare, and the campaign for extended paid paternity leave gaining traction. This is a vital area for consideration with regards to policy review and legislative progress.
Whilst I recognise your daunting workload, I urge you to add your voice, on behalf of your constituents, to this important and pressing conversation by joining the APPG for Fatherhood as a member, or even as Chair.
The Secretariat for the APPG for Fatherhood is Future Men, a medium-sized charity working with and advocating for boys and young men. You can find out more about them at www.futuremen.org or contact them via email: [email protected] (mailto:[email protected]) .
Many thanks
[Your name]

Thank you again for your interest in and support of the APPG for Fatherhood If you have any questions about this or any other APPG-related matter, please email [email protected].

Kind regards

Sally-anne Burris

INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY 2022 Research reveals more than half of UK men feel pressure and anxiety due to societal expectations. 19th November 2022 – Future Men today released the results of its Future Men Survey 2023. The survey reveals that over half (52%) of men in the UK feel pressured by soci...

08/12/2023

A lot of people have recovered or are recovering from childhood.

11/09/2023

Hello Unfortunately due to technical permissions we have to move the live discussion onto zoom for the Child Maintenance Services discussion on why we group litigation is the best way to challenge the CMS, you can find us here on zoom - [email protected] is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.

Topic: [email protected]'s Zoom Meeting
Time: Sep 11, 2023 07:00 PM London

Join Zoom Meeting
https://us06web.zoom.us/j/85483596285?pwd=aWIvdkM5S2lpT0dlL2FOWlV6ZWJjdz09

Meeting ID: 854 8359 6285
Passcode: 789175

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09/09/2023

I would like to expose a situation. If your children (or grandchildren) don’t learn to play with children with special needs at school, maybe you should spend 10 minutes tonight explaining it to them. Because, although they don't currently live with these children, at school they will find them in their lives for sure. In light of recent events regarding the exclusion of a child with autism from attending a school trip and a child with Down Syndrome being expelled from dance class because she couldn't keep up with it, I feel the need to share this. There are boys and girls that no one invites to birthday parties. There are special children who want to be part of a team but are not selected because it's more important to win than to include these children. Kids with special needs aren't weird, they just want what everyone wants: to be accepted!
Can I ask a question? Is there anyone willing to COPY AND PASTE this post on their wall for all the special children out there?
Please teach your children to be kind to these beautiful children!
Everyone needs love and kindness💙💛💙💛

12/07/2023

Wow

Check out cloudwatcher's video.

10/07/2023

Love this, got some great points about Parental Alienation ...

66 likes, 2 comments. “ ”

10/07/2023

Amazing day, amazing people, if you haven't already completed a CMS questionnaire to tell the government your experience of the child maintenance service please do, closing date is 31st of July https://www.split-the-difference.com/questionnaire

Check out Disqualified_dads's video.

07/07/2023

We did it, we took parents case studies, the stats on harm, fraud, the deaths the child maintenance service has caused and yet the Child Maintenance Services APPG cancelled our presentation to them twice, actually left us waiting online the second time for 40 minutes till I was emailing and ringing saying please can you let us know what's happening.

Was assured the next APPG meeting in June we would present the harm being done to paying parents, to then be told that gingerbread had taken over the secretariat's role, a massive conflict of interest as they are pushing through a private bill with members tied to this APPG, and the DWP select committee also to the private businesses that are most likely to get the contracts for the new Child Support Enforcement bill.....dig into the ministers involved and their links with serco etc, you will see.

Did you know APPGs are increasingly getting challenged because they are being used as private business and third sector lobby groups to facilitate the ground work to get money, contracts from public funds.

This private bill will literally enable the CMS to take passports, driving licences, lock people into paying money they don't owe not through a court but under the power of an administrator. This is in modern day slavery legislation, the CMS is being allowed to create modern day slaves. This APPG is nothing more than people who are aiming to milk parents and the government.

Disgusting....

21/06/2023

Please sign and share 🙏

42 signatures are still needed! SAVE OUR CHILDREN STOP PARENTAL ALIENATION

18/06/2023

Hi All, We have a Walk of Truth to raise awareness on the failings of the CMS on July 5th 2023. This private Child Support Enforcement Bill will go through unless we show MPs that this agency is fraudulent, is breaking the very parents who are doing their best to pay.

We need as many people as possible to attend and need some media to help. Attached is instructions on some shory videos we are asking people to send through, we have a volunteer event team all working hard to try to stop this Bill having power.

The questionnaire 500 of you have completed so far has given some massive damning evidence if you havent filled please go and complete here - https://www.split-the-difference.com/questionnaire

If you can attend the walk in London here is the link to sign up here - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/.../walk-with-us-expose-the...

The file is attached if you can spend ten minutes contributing. Ladies and gentlemen I cant stress how important this event is. If this Bill isnt challenged and you thought its bad now it is nothing in comparrison to what is coming. Please, Please support this action, any questions my contact details are on the word doc. Hope you are all ok x

Below is the instructions to help by making media....

Has the UK Child Maintenance Service ever;
Told you have arrears you can prove you don’t owe?
Forced you on to collect and pay when you have never missed a payment?
Pushed your mental health to its limit?
We are taking a walk of truth in London on the 5th July 2023 where attendees can hand deliver to parliament a full report raising awareness on the systematic failings of the CMS and how its destroying the lives of children and paying parents.
We need your help if you can evidence you have experienced any of the statements below (these are part of a consultation questionnaire published by Split the Difference that with our case files proves gross mismanagement and fraudulent activity within the child maintenance service.
This task will take five to ten minutes depending on how many statements you want to record that are applicable to your experience with the CMS.
If you are going to record it on your phone, please hold your phone landscape, maybe prop it up against something making sure you get in your head and if possible, to your lower chest or waste, make sure as you look at your camera you have about an inch on screen between the top of your head and the top of the screen.

Here is an example of the position between your head and top of screen:

Have a read through the statements below chose one or more that you are able to truthfully say and record, if you want to record more than one then between each one count to three then start the next one, this will help us the edit.
With camera on, example is; I am Fred Bloggs, I give permission for split the difference and its associated partners to publish my video to raise awareness on the failings of the CMS. I choose point (then say the numbers of the points you have chosen) keep looking at your camera and read out each point you have chosen leaving a 3 second gap between each one.
When completed you can whats app it to 07724587078 or email to [email protected]
Don’t forget we need as many people attending the event on the 5th July 2023, if you haven’t signed up to attend then follow the link here Eventbrite
No Statement to Read out (please only chose the ones you can evidence) For Splits editing
1 I am a paying parent who has had a false debt of (say amount) placed on my account even though I have proved I do not owe this money. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 72% of paying parents said they have also had false debts placed on their account they have proved they don’t owe.

2 I am a paying parent, the child maintenance service took me to court for a false debt which resulted in me having (put in what, sale of home, business assets etc). In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 4.5% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position.

3 I am a paying parent, my income has changed by 25% and the Child Maintenance Service has refused to do a mandatory recalculation. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 46% of paying parents said they were also refused this mandatory right.
4 The child maintenance services are taking over (choose which is applicable, 40%, 50%, 60%, 70%, 80%, 90% to state) of my gross income each month, leaving me with not enough to live.
5 I am a paying parent, I had a positive arrangement with my ex-partner but the CMS stepped in a broke that arrangement. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 45% of parent said the Child Maintenance Service interfered with private arrangements.
6 I am a paying parent, the child maintenance service forced me onto collect and pay even though I had not missed a payment, the CMS break their own rules and make 24% profit by doing this. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 57% of parent said they have been forced onto collect and pay for no justifiable reason.
7 I am a paying parent and even though I have my children 50% of the time, the child maintenance service still forces me to pay my ex-partner child support, they break their own rules for profit. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 19% of paying parents who have shared cared said they are also being forced to pay when they should not.
8 I am a paying parent and I was forced to not accept employment because I am being made to pay false arrears. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 37% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position.
9 I am a paying parent, I have been forced into giving up employment because of false arrears. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 34% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position.
10 I am a paying parent that is being forced to pay child maintenance and who has been refused a DNA test. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 6% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position.
11 I am a paying parent and have been sent to prison for a child support debt I can prove I do not owe. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 36% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position.
12 I am a paying parent and since the child maintenance service became involved I am now alienated from my children. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 41% of paying parents said because of the CMS they are now in the same position.
13 I am a paying parent, since the child maintenance service became involved I now see my children less frequently. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 41% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position by the CMS.
14 I am a paying parent and as a result of the child maintenance service I now experience fear, anxiety, panic attacks and depression. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 96.8% of paying parents said they are living with the same mental health issues.
15 I am a paying parent and I have experienced, bullying, harassment, threats, intimidation, verbal and mental abuse from the child maintenance service. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 90.8% of paying parents said they have experienced the same behaviours from the child maintenance service.
16 I am a paying parent, I have been forced into seeking medical help because of the way the child maintenance service manages its department. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 61.9% of paying parents said they are being forced to seek the same help.
17 I am a paying parent and as a direct result of the bullying, harassment and them going against their own legislation, guidance, policy and their fraudulent activity in the child maintenance service, I have considered taking my own life. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 68.6% of paying parents said they are being forced into the same position.
18 I am a loved one of a paying parent who has taking their own life as a direct result of the bullying, harassment and fraudulent activity in the child maintenance service. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 68.6% of paying parents said they are being forced into considering the same action, 90.8% said they were experiencing bullying and harassment and 96.8% said they were experiencing severe mental health issues, for example anxiety symptoms and panic attacks.
19 I am a paying parent and I want a public enquiry, I want leadership held accountable, I want the child support enforcement bill to be quashed and I want the child maintenance service fully decommissioned. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 99.8% of paying parents said they want a public enquiry, accountability and the service fully decommissioned.
20 I am a paying parent and even though I have requested to come off collect and pay for no justifiable reason the child maintenance service has denied me my rights. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 31.2% of paying parents said they are also being denied their rights to come off after 6 months.
21 I am a paying parent and based on the evidence in my own case I believe the child maintenance service is operating fraudulently. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 86.2% of paying parents also said that based on their case they believe the CMS is operating fraudulently.
22 I am a paying parent, my children live with me 100% of the time but I am being forced to pay child support to my ex-partner. In Split the Differences consultation questionnaire 7.5% of paying parents said they are also in the same position.

We are an organisation created to raise awareness on the inequality for men and boys within United Nation member states and encourage consultation, guidance and policy that supports their needs equally to women and girls.

17/06/2023

CMS - Child Maintenance Service (UK) - Support For Non-Resident Parents

We have a walk for truth on July the 5th from 10 Downing st to the police head quarters and then a mass lobby at parliament to hand deliver a report that shows the failings in the CMS that are pushing people to su***de.

This video asks you, do you want to be someone that sits and excepts injustice or do you have the courage to hand over truth and say you are required to do something about this?

64.2K likes, 2795 comments. ““Never forget that justice is what love looks like in public” 🌍 .vb @🦋Sabi Rajauria Paudel🦋 . M_Abid @🅂🄰🄸🄼🄰 🄼🄰🄻🄸🄺 ...

05/06/2023

This child is incredible, the voice of the has a natural leaning to love, kindness, equity and freedom to be, just to be.

Little Big Shots -Child President- makes the whole studio admire

11/05/2023

Who wants to be a victim? Emotionally and/or mentally destroyed. Men are r***d, domestically abused, murdered by wives, stripped of their identity, power and choice. Is it we cant acknowledge they experience the same harm or that women are the cause?

10/05/2023

What do prisoners, those who are homeless, substance misusers, children who fail in education have in common?

09/05/2023

Where do men have inequality in services? how do you think we got to such a place where the narrative about men having everything they want is simply a blatant lie?

05/05/2023

Should we value and respect men?

17/04/2023

One for the professionals or those understanding what it means to experience domestic abuse as a man.

Please share...

Does Northern Ireland's 'gender neutral' domestic violence strategy help male victims and should other regions adopt a similar approach?

03/04/2023

The rights of a human being from leadership is to know truth. We all know of course that we are merely cash cows for governance and corporate. They are going too far and as an organisation that believes we all the right to thrive we will share current truths that impact on all.

R J Muirhead's short video with ♬ original sound

21/03/2023

https://mailchi.mp/1d393ea555dc/further-information-required-online-statement-form

With a group of professional volunteers, Split the Difference has conducted nearly 18 months research and is now looking to support/facilitate legal action against the Child Maintenance Service (CMS).  The Child Maintenances is not working for anyone, once you have seen the damage it is doing for p...

12/02/2023

Sharing of interim data from the Child Maintenance Service questionnaire we are promoting.

Out of 303 responses:

114 are alienated from children
113 parents have experienced a decrease in contact
27 stayed the same
Remainder preferred not to say

Has your income ever changed 25% and the CMS has refused to give you a mandatory reconsideration?

130 said yes

Have you ever had to sell your home or business to pay false arrears?

10 said yes

Have you ever had to seek medical or therapeutic advice because of CMS?

165 said yes

What do you want to happen to the CMS?

270 said decommission

(also requests to have formal investigation into illegality)

Do you believe the CMS is operating illegally based on the management of your own care?

245 said yes

Do you pay maintenance to CMS even though children live with you full time?

25 said yes

Is the CMS fees causing you financial hardship?

163 said yes

Have you ever formally disclosed to the CMS that your mental health is suffering because of the CMS management processes?

174 said yes

4 cases had markers put on their file but none of the stress related behaviours i.e. letters, text, email, phone calls stopped.

1 case had a marker placed on their file and was given 3 months withdrawal of stress related behaviours, i.e. letters, text, email, phone calls etc

06/02/2023

Hi All,

Just a snapshot update, we are going to be pushing the questionnaire out more. The Work and Pension Select Committee had asked us to share some particular questions, I sent them more than they asked for. Have told them they will get the full report. Please repost the link we have a target of 2000 completed questionnaires.

We are an organisation created to raise awareness on the inequality for men and boys within United Nation member states and encourage consultation, guidance and policy that supports their needs equally to women and girls.