Neurodivergent Parenting Revolution- Lizz Mears

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Neurodivergent Parenting Revolution- Lizz Mears

Neurodivergent Parenting Coach, Mentor & Artist ✨ Helping you, so you can help your kids💜

29/11/2024

My Black Friday ‘Deal’ is this: I’m extending the EARLYBIRD price for The Rebel Heart Parenting Collective until January!!

That’s it.

So if you can’t afford it right now because, you know…Christmas 🎄
Then don’t worry 😉 I got you 🙌🏻

Have a beautiful weekend 💜

Bookmark the L.i.N.k in the comments for when you’re ready 💜

28/11/2024

Yesterday I spent 2 hours in an online queue to get tickets to see KPop band Stray Kids with my daughter.
Why am I telling you this??

Well it came to my attention through friendly banter with the family that next year I’m going to 5 Gigs with various members of the family!😅

And I INSTANTLY felt guilty.
Am I allowed to do that?
How greedy!
You don’t deserve that!

But!
I’ll tell you WHY I’m allowed to do that because:

I’ve just spent the last 7 years *inside my house* (I’m not even kidding) with one child too broken to go out of the house because of school trauma and at the time, undiagnosed Autism.

My youngest also started struggling at school in yr 5 and thus, I had 2 children who clung to me harder than an octopus with treacle on its suckers🐙

I DID NOT get to go anywhere by myself other than Asda or Tescos.

I sat in the car by myself crying nearly every day, only to wipe the tears away and ‘put on a smile’ as I entered the house.

I was up at all hours with upset children, averaging 4 hours sleep a night.

My own mental health took a battering, I was in a lot of therapy and had my antidepressants raised to top dosage.

I couldn’t hold down a job because I never knew how my kids would be each day.
I didn’t get to go for coffee with friends, on holiday, let alone out for the day.

My lovely mum would take out my youngest to all the fun stuff and I stayed home with my son because HE NEEDED ME.

My partner worked himself into the ground to provide what money he could and be the steady hand beneath us all.
He did however get to leave the house-and yes I was *jealous* he got to do that.

We survived on benefits to top up rent.

You’re damn right I deserve to go the gigs! 💥

My son is finally coming out of autistic burnout after nearly 10 years on this journey.
We’re home educating our daughter and she’s finally getting back to herself again.

I chose to take the help I could get, and listen to my heart about what my children needed and still need.

So I’m going to those 5 gigs knowing damn well I earned every one 💪🏻

p.s I in NO WAY am upset at my kids- this is on the system because it’s so very broken 😞

26/11/2024

Doors to ‘Have Yourself A Very Neurodiverse Christmas’ Workshop are now open!

If you would like to work with me to have the best Christmas possible for you and your kids, this will show you how to do that...and...I'll help you put in some lovely boundaries to keep you feeling safe, so that you can have a magical & calm Christmas 🎄

I’ve got just 10 spots available so that I can keep this intimate and meaningful.

Once they’re gone the doors close till next year.
Come and join me and let’s make Christmas 2024 the best one yet!

L I N K below 👌🏻

In Solidarity,
Lizz xoxo

P.S You don’t really want to spend your time burnout and wondering what the hell went wrong, do you?

24/11/2024

I don’t cry at movies. Like ever, I don’t think I’ve cried since Watership Down 🐇
My friend Megan recommended this movie to me over night (she’s in 🇺🇸)

I’ve spent my Sunday morning watching it…and laughing, crying, sighing and cheerleading a character that represents so many of our beautiful children!

Holy moly.
This was originally a book. Written by Sharon M Draper she’s the brains behind it all.

The character Melody absolutely blew me away.

The parents fighting for Melody’s chance to live a regular 12 year old girls life… 😮‍💨

I understood this from the parents view AND Melody’s.

Did it get everything ’right’ probably not, did it at least give people who live blissfully unaware of the reality of having a child that’s disabled in some way, an opportunity to peek behind the scenes? Yes.

My gawd our children deserve to live how THEY want to.
To be HEARD.
They have a VOICE no matter if some peoples own biases don’t like it and no matter if that voice is not the one that comes out of their mouths.
COMMUNICATION happens in many many ways and it’s all valid-we’ve just got to LISTEN.

Screw the bias! Listen to the kids💪🏻🙌🏻💜

22/11/2024

I think a lot of people get the wrong idea about Christmas & Holidays these days.

They think because ‘Amy’ on social media is posting about all the money she’s spending, that what you are doing for your kids isn’t good enough.

Or you see families who aren’t neurodivergent visiting all the bright & wacky Christmas attraction's, but your child just doesn’t feel able to cope with that level of sensory overload…
It can leave you feeling like you’re being left out or perhaps even pushed into doing these things because you ‘should’ be.

There isn’t a one size fits all answer to this predicament.

Some families have more spare finances to buy more things and some don’t.
Some families concentrate on being together or going to church.
Some families are neurodivergent and find the whole thing incredibly difficult to navigate.

You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

So what’s a better alternative to making yourself stressed because you’re looking from the outside in, at these so called perfect families? (spoiler: they’re not perfect)

What if this year you take a different approach...
Where instead of doing what Nan & Grandad want/expect… or going to all the parties when you just don’t feel able to ...you do Christmas and the holiday season your way instead?

I just had this conversation with a client last week.
While most people do "ok" with Christmas parties and the lights, the music and the smells.
This client of mine and her children had a really stressful time last Christmas because they tried to make everybody happy and forgot about themselves!

So this year she’s rewriting Christmas 🎄 with ZERO guilt.

She’s going to do what her, her partner and kids enjoy doing the most!

Now let’s get something straight…

Christmas and holidays are supposed to be about spending time with LOVED ones. Not watching Aunty Linda and Your Nan bĩtch about the Jones’ seemingly ‘rubbish’ Christmas decorations. I mean really? Who’s got time for that?

In 2014 I sat down with my fiancé and kids and discussed what WE’D really love Christmas to FEEL like.
I’m lucky because my mum is really easy going and empathetic, so when I asked that my kids stay home with their new toys, ate chicken nuggets and smiley faces for Christmas lunch and didn’t have to partake in anything they didn’t like-she said of course!

However we did get some pushback from other relatives.

Because if you're doing this the right way, you're not giving in to somebody else ‘ideal christmas’ and frankly they probably will pushback.

Instead, you're setting up you and your family for a Christmas that makes sense TO YOU.

The way you decide to spend your Christmas will decide how you get to move forward every year. It will also teach your children that it’s ok to have sensible boundaries about what they can and can’t cope with.

Plain and simple.

I can't think of a single parent who's had a magical Christmas season by giving in to everybody else’s wants and needs. In fact I think most of us end up burnout.

If you've got neurodivergent kids or are ND yourself, and you're ready to dream up your perfect Christmas.

So you can relax and actually enjoy the days with the chance to take a breath when you need to.

I've got something coming for you.

Where together, we're going to write, draw and create our ultimate Christmas story!

This is going to be a one time workshop, first come first served, so that we can create something truly magical and meaningful for you.

It’s a chance to put our heads together and dream up, and achieve your perfect crimbo!

Because my time is capped, these spots will be very limited and go quickly. Especially at this price point.

Details coming on Monday next week.

Lizz xoxo

21/11/2024

Back in September of 2022 I was on day 9 of the new school year.

Year 7 to be precise. At the time my youngest was already 2 years deep in emotional school based anxiety.

Every morning my stomach was in knots and to be honest the evening before too.

📑 TL;DR: (Too long;didn’t read:)
In 2022, I hit rock bottom after years of battling school anxiety with my kids and a system that didn’t help. The turning point came when I stopped relying solely on professionals and started trusting my instincts—and found the power of community.
Since then, I’ve helped nearly 50 parents create calmer, happier families. Whatever your path—home education, alternative schooling, or advocating within the system—support is key. You’re not alone, and I’m here to help.

🧱 And yet I felt like kept hitting my head against a wall... 🧱

I worked with her primary school in every way possible. Her teacher in year 6 was incredible! A real light in a tough time but still my girlie couldn’t cope with school every day.

At first, I thought this was "normal" Everyone else around me seemed to say ‘she’ll get over it, she’s FINE when she’s in school’, or give me the ‘aww so sad’ look.

This went on for over 2 years with my daughter but, by this point, I was also 5 years deep into my son’s struggles with school. Waiting on diagnosis and fighting against the teachers and professionals to explain my Every.Damn.Move I dare make with my own children.

😪 It was exhausting.

By day 9 of school refusal* for my youngest I’d absolutely had enough.

I had nothing left to give. I was a shell of a human. An anxiety riddled mess who didn’t want to get up in the morning because it was the same thing every day.

I realised at that moment I was done. ✔️

I’d listened to the teachers, the psychologists, CAHMS, I’d completed the parenting courses and was back on high dosage anti anxiety medication.

There HAD to be more to life than this!

I was lucky to have a supportive fiance and mum, but I say lucky for a reason, not everyone has that.

It might seem so obvious at first what the answer is, however implementing it is where we all need support.

💜Listen to yourself. Your heart knows the way.

Once you begin doing this, things start changing. You no longer allow yourself to be gaslit by a system that supports nobody-not even the teachers.

🌊 A wave of calm will fall over you.

That was over two years ago… Since then, I’ve gone on to help a myriad of parents (close to 50!) achieve calmer days and happier children.

What I’ve found time and time again is the difference between people who achieve a relaxed household, with happier parents and children and those who don’t, is not complex.

🔑 Everything comes down to community support and spending time with those who’ve done it before you.

The power that comes from others is immeasurable.

It might be that you choose to home educate, choose ‘‘education otherwise than at school’ or continue at school to fight for your child’s health, reasonable adjustments and safety.

Whatever it is, community is key.

Having a supportive group of friends around you who truly understand the devastating impact of your child struggling at school and of the professionals not ‘quite’ getting it.

🎯 That’s why I’ve now made it my mission to help parents of neurodivergent kids and young adults rapidly develop the strength and ability to say “no more!”

That way nobody would find themselves in my lonely position. Women & Men like me would always have someone to talk to, who gets it.

I’ve met too many people who stay stuck battling daily, like a continual groundhog day.

Which is why I’m showing up, doing something about it.

So great to have you here for the ride 🙌🏻

Lizz xoxo

* I use the term ‘school refusal’ only because this is what schools etc like to call it. I fully understand that it’s so much deeper and more complex than this term allows scope for.

18/11/2024

This is something I’ve come to realise *finally* - who says I’m behind?

The stupid system of ‘keeping up with the Joneses’?

Well maybe the *Joneses* got it WRONG.

Maybe everything is working out just as it should for my development and for the development of those around me.

Once you start uninstalling the BS we were ALL fed, then life becomes about enjoying the ride 🎢

It becomes about following YOUR HEART not someone else’s 💓

So next time you’re thinking you’re behind or not on track, remember it’s all a bunch of made up rules by someone with no imagination 💫

Go kick some 🍑 in your own sweet way!

*no Joneses I don’t actually mean you 😅

18/11/2024

I often receive comments and messages expressing how you wish you had the courage to do what I'm doing with my children.

Let me clarify— I was absolutely ⚡️ TERRIFIED ⚡️ of making the wrong decision.

Everyone around me, along with societal expectations, insisted that children should be in school. This idea was ingrained in me, just as it is in you.

It's a belief that feels like ‘THIS IS THE WAY’
..until it isn't.

Friends, teachers and some family, didn’t recognise or even comprehend the true situation at home.

While ‘Lizz’ may appear cheerful and full of energy, she's also a master at hiding her struggles. Thanks undiagnosed Autism 😅

The harm caused by desperately trying to conform to the 'norm' for years inside the school system for my kids, was significant.

When you hit rock bottom and then add 50ft of crap, your perspective on what you truly want in life shifts dramatically.

ALL I wanted was for my children to be happy, and no amount of societal pressure could change that. So, I took the leap.

I jumped, and now I have the mental space to stand beside you and help you navigate through this overwhelming devastation.

The Rebel Heart Collective is my commitment to ensuring that no one gets left behind.💜

17/11/2024

How about you rewrite the rules this year?

16/11/2024

Just make your kid do what they hate!

Why on earth would I tell my coaching client to ‘make their kid do what they hate’?

Because I needed to see what their intuition was really telling them.

Here's what happened...

I was talking to a client on a call, let’s call her ‘Alicia’.

Now Alicia is deep in the trenches with desperately trying to get her kid to school.

The school is blaming her child’s reluctance to attend on Alicia’s anxiety…you know the drill right?

Alicia was asking me for support around getting her child to school, how could she coax them? How could she forcethem? What were her options?

So I responded with ‘just make him do it! It can’t hurt right?’

Her face was a picture! She recoiled immediately.

Why?

Because she knows it’s wrong.
She knows, I know it’s wrong.

I’ve seen this problem over and over.

So here’s what we did:

1. I got Alicia to tell me what she really wanted to do to help her son.
We started making plans for that to happen.

Which means that Alicia breathed a sigh of motherly relief 😮‍💨
She knows her kid and she knows that despite how hard it might be, she can, and will get the right support in place for her child.

Moral of the story?
Don’t blindly follow professionals advice.

This goes for everything, including Christmas 🎄

Instead, focus on what feels right to you as a parent and you’ll be surprised at how capable and strong you are!

In Solidarity,
Lizz xoxo

15/11/2024

✨Big news incoming!✨

For context, over the past year, I’ve been quietly helping clients navigate the challenges of having children who don’t fit in a box 📦 in fact our children came here to do away with the boxes altogether!

Looking back at this year, many of these lessons fall to the shadows, forgotten about until I see the next client and help them.

I’ve realised that the way to support YOU is to not remain silently working behind the scenes.

So I’m going to be posting a lot more to help you navigate the school system, diagnosis and the myriad of other ‘asks’ you have on yourself as mum or dad to a neurodivergent young person.

Tomorrow, I’ll be sharing a profound insight into why people get worn out and stuck at Christmas time especially, trying to meet societies idea of a ‘Perfect Christmas’!

It’s subtle, and kept me (and I suspect you too) stuck in overwhelm for far too long.

See ya tomorrow!
In Solidarity,
Lizz xoxo

Pretty please pop me a gif/comment if you see this to help appease the facebook algorithm 🙌🏻✨

24/08/2024

August! Phew 😅 you’ve been a ride!

August’s always busy in our house because it’s both my babies birthdays 🎂

This year I’m proud mum of a brand new teenager and a 20 year old! How’d that happen?? 🤓

It’s school holidays of course and whilst we don’t stop learning because we home educate, we do pause and do all sorts of fun things because my teens friends are of course out of school-so there’s lots of sleepovers, days out, craft days and a myriad of other activities!

It inevitably ends with me having a migraine after the 21st…
I’ve really gotta learn to relax more about the kids birthdays but I also REALLY want them to have wonderful birthdays 🎈

So I, without even realising put a ton of pressure on myself.

I don’t mean too, but they are my everything so it’s kinda natural to do all I can 👌🏻 and I’m not talking money-I’m talking family dinners and traditions 🥰

Here we are on Saturday morning and it’s raining ☔️ here…feeling very autumnal 🍂

I’m not sure I’ve entirely got as much vitamin D ☀️ as I truly needed this year…it’s been a funny one hasn’t it?🧐

Hopefully next year I’ll get a holiday somewhere hot so I can get my fill but for now I’m just gonna have a chill weekend and start working on my new membership that’s coming very soon 😜

Happy weekend beauties!
Be kind to yourself 💜
Lizz xoxo

29/07/2024

Four years ago I was a mess….I was where you are now 😞

Address

Bournemouth

Website

http://www.lizzmears.co.uk/

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