Idol Story

05/08/2023

A 15-year-old came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money?!" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."
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"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me $15."
The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for $15?!" they asked.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don't know her name. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for $15."
"Oh my goodness," moaned the mother,. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a Porsche for $15 and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."

29/07/2023

ANOTHER DNA PROBLEM
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Breaking News!!!

A 61year old retired banker Chief Segun Balogun who lives in Buea secretly did DNA test for his 4 kids, the results came out negative for all of them - 3 boys and 1 girl.

The test was carried out at a popular hospital in Victoria Island.

He became so angry that he beat the children mercilessly, threw them out of the house and told them that he is not their father.

The wife Kemi, came back from market, on reaching home she didn't see any of the children.

She asked her husband the whereabouts of the kids, the next thing she saw was a knife in her husband's hand, before she could run, it was too late.

She saw herself falling to the ground with blood oozing out from her neck.

Neighbours who were attracted by the shouts and commotion held down the man and rushed the woman to the hospital, while the police were invited.

While Segun was writing statement inside the DPO's office, the DPO checked his phone and saw 20 missed calls from same number.

Segun could not recognize the unsaved number when it was shown to him but while they were contemplating whether to return the call, the phone ran again and he was prevailed upon to pick the call - it was the hospital which had been trying to reach him since he collected the DNA result.

It turned out that due to mis-tag he was handed the wrong result.

His was positive all through, meaning all his children belong to him!

The man shouted, what?!!!

A mistake or what did you say?!!

Tears ran from his eyes, his hands began to shake.

To compound matters two of his friends dashed in from the hospital where the wife was rushed, to announce she gave up the ghost 15 minutes earlier.

He thought of his dead wife and the children he threw into the street, and his body started shaking so violently that he fainted.

Alas, Guess what!?

When he opened his eyes he was sweating profusely but lying on his bed in his room,
IT WAS ALL BUT A DREAM!!!

Molly Farren on the pen👍

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28/07/2023

How A Má d Woman Deceived Me 🙆😂

After working for the day i went into a restaurant to eat with just 400frs so i ordered Rice 200frs, noodles 100frs and meat 100frs as i sat down to eat a lady sitting beside me smiled and said
"Wow you look handsome and i love the way you eat I'll pay for your lunch just order anything you want"
"Omo i don catch better babe" i thought to myself as i quickly ordered for a big bowl of Garri and assorted meats and
a bottle of wine which cost about 3000frs
"Why one bottle?
please add 2 more you are so handsome you deserve to be spoilt with goodies"
the lady said again I hastily made the order after drinking the first bottle i tried opening the second one
but the opener fell down as i bent down to pick it i noticed the lady was barefooted
and her legs were cha!ned together
that was when i discovered she was a ma d woman😩😩😩....Ahh! 🙆😂😂.

Molly Farren on the pen

❤

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27/07/2023

😁😁
Two students are waiting to give their oral aptitude test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

Examiner :- Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Student:- I will open the window.

Examiner:- Great, now suppose that the area of the window is 1.5 sq.m and the volume of the compartment is 12 m3, the train is travelling at 80 km/hr in a Westerly direction and the speed of the wind is 5 m/s from the South, then how much time will it take for the compartment to get cold?

The student couldn't answer, so he is failed and he comes out.
After coming out he tells that question to the second student.

The second student goes in and his test starts.

Examiner:- Suppose you are travelling by a train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

2nd Student :- I will remove my coat.

Examiner :- If its still hot, then what?

Student:- I will remove my shirt.

Examiner (angrily):- If its still hot, then what will you do?

Student:- I will remove my pant.

Examiner (Fuming):- And what if you die due to the heat?

Student:- Even if I die of the heat, I will not open the window.


Molly Farren on the pen

26/07/2023

Woman in the Toilet:

This is the story of what happened to me just two nights ago.

I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment. It was getting late and I decided to take a nice relaxing bath before going to bed. I needed to go to the toilet first.

When I lifted the lid of the toilet, I thought I saw something in toilet bowl. It looked like the shadow of a person’s head.

It took a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to the dim light.

I realized it was the head of an old woman. Her eyes were closed and her hair was spread out and hanging over the sides of the toilet bowl like seaweed.

At first, I was too shocked to do anything. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I just stood there in my underwear staring down at it.

How could anyone fit inside a toilet bowl? Was it a severed head? Was it a Halloween prop?

All of a sudden, the woman’s eyes opened wide and she stared up at me.

I was horrified.

In shock, I slammed down the toilet lid.

I could hear a gurgling sound coming from under the lid. It sounded like muffled laughter.

In a panic, I grabbed basins, brushes and shampoo bottles and plied them on top of the toilet lid, trying to keep it trapped. Then, I ran out of the bathroom and closed the door.

I heard noises from the other side of the bathroom door. It sounded like it was bumping against the toilet lid.

I didn’t know what it was, but I knew it wasn’t human.

I was so scared that I ran out of the apartment wearing just my t-shirt and underpants. I ran downstairs, got a taxi and raced over to the home of my female friend who lived nearby.

I told her what I had seen, but she didn’t seem to believe me. When I calmed down, I even began to question myself. I stayed with her for a few hours, but around midnight, I decided to go back to my apartment and I asked her to come with me.

When I turned the key in the lock and opened the door, the apartment seemed quiet and nothing was out of place. My friend was curious to see what had scared me. She opened th

26/07/2023

After church service today there was just heavy rainfall every one was stock in the church. No one could move except those with car. I kept praying in my mind for the rain to stop so I could go home and eat before I faint here. Hunger the wire me. The warms are eating up my intestines. 2hrs,3hrs and the rains kept falling. There was nothing I could do. The church kiosk was not even open I would've use my last 50 card to buy chin chin. I kept starring at the clouds hoping the rains will end soon. I was still starring at the clouds when I saw some kids playing with biscuits up and down. They kept throwing at each other instead of eating it, see wastage. when the other child finish his own he ran up to his mom and soon return with a big park of biscuit. If he chop 1 he'll throw 1 at the other kid. “This boy is not serious” I said and follow the boy and snatched the biscuit. I disappear into the crowd and sat down and I began to chop it. The boy cry up to his mom and point to my direction but I was not there. God can bless someone at his point of needs.

😉

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26/07/2023

An Old Farmer writes to his Son who is in Prison:
"Dear Son, this year I won't be able to plant Potatoes because I can't dig the field by myself, I know if you are here, you would have helped me".
The Son writes back,
"Dad don't even think of digging the field because that's where I buried all the money I stole."
The Police read the letter and the next Day the whole field was dugged up looking for the money but nothing was found.
The following Day the Son wrote again,
'Now plant your Potatoes dad, it's the best I can do from here.
'Lesson:
You can imprison me, but you can never imprison my ideas.Wisdom🙏.

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25/07/2023

REFRIGERATOR

😁
Two ghosts were having a conversation.

“How did you die?” asked the first ghost.

“I froze to death,” replied the second.

“How did that happen?” asked the first.

“Well,” said the second ghost. “I accidentally got locked in a refrigerator. Once I was inside, I couldn’t open the door. At first, I just felt very cold. Then, I started shivering. I felt very sleepy and it was hard to think. My arms and legs began to go numb and my heartbeat got slower and slower. As my whole body started to freeze, I slowly lost consciousness. It was like falling asleep. Fortunately, I died without suffering too much… How about you? How did you die?”

“Well,” replied the first ghost. “I died of a heart attack. I ate too much fast food, chips and sweet things. My arteries were clogged and I was very overweight…”

“So that was what killed you?” asked the second ghost.

“Not exactly,” said the first ghost. “I suspected that my wife was cheating on me. One day, I came home from work early to catch her with her boyfriend. I saw a pair of men’s shoes in the hallway, so I knew he was in the house. I rushed upstairs and burst into the bedroom, but my wife was alone. I threw open all the wardrobes and checked inside. I ran into the other bedrooms and checked under all the beds. I hurried downstairs and checked the garage. Then, I ran into the living room and checked behind the sofa. After that, I searched all the bathrooms, but I couldn’t find him anywhere. With all that running around, I suddenly felt a tightness in my chest and a shooting pain down my arm. I broke into a cold sweat and it became hard to breathe. Then, I collapsed on the floor. It was incredibly painful and in the end, I lost consciousness and died.”

The second ghost sighed. “Why didn’t you check the refrigerator?”

Molly Farren on the pen

23/07/2023

😁

7 WAYS TO KNOW YOU ARE MAD🤷🏼‍♀️😲🤪🧐😏.

1..If you've ever counted 1.2.3 before pouring water on your body, you're mad. 🧐🤪😲😳🥺😣😝

2..If you ever thought the moon use to follow u around, ahh you're mad.
😳😲🤪🧐🤦🤦🤷🏼‍♀️😋😏

3..If you've ever use yur sim 1, to call yur sim 2🤳 in de same phone, believe me, ya mad..🤳🤪😲😳😂😣😒

4..if you've ever been talkin💋 to yur self, 🧘but when someone looks at you, 🙄you pretend to be singing,😲 abeg you're pararelly mad.😉🤔😝😛😲🤷🏼‍♀️🤪😏

5..You went into yur room, but forgot what to pick, you went out but you still remember,🚶 then come back...sorry, ya mad.🤪🙆😜😛😝🙁🤭☝️😉🤔

6..Yur phone 🤳is at one percent, nepa bought light, but becuz of chat,🤳 u refuse to plug, now dem don take light,,you are shouting ahhhh☝️..kai ahswear ya mad.😝😛😜🙆🤪🤭

7..You read all this but you did not do any of them your are perpetually mad😏😏😏😁😁😁🤣

😁

23/07/2023

E no easy for be a teacher ooh😂😂

1. Teacher: ''Construct a sentence using the word "sugar''
Pupil: ''I drank tea this morning.''
Teacher: ''Where is the word sugar.''
Pupil: ''It is already in the tea..!!''

2. TEACHER *: Hello Class, Our topic for today is
Photosynthesis.
TEACHER: What is photosynthesis class?
Student: Photosynthesis is our topic today.
**Not Easy to be a Teacher o o o.. .***

3. TEACHER* : John is climbing a tree to pick some
mangoes. ( Begin the sentence with Mangoes)
Student : Mangoes, John is coming to pick you...

4. TEACHER : What do you call mosquitoes in your language?
Student: We don't call them, they come on their own...

5. TEACHER : Name the nation people hate most
Student: Exami-nation...

6. TEACHER : Class! How can we keep our school clean?
Student: By staying at home ma...

7. TEACHER : One day our country will be free from corruption
What tense is that??
Student: Future impossible tense...

8.If you smiled to these jokes, you owe me
a like and comment, if you ignore is that not
wickedness?

Molly Farren on the pen

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23/07/2023

So I went to my friend's house Emeka.

When I got to his house, I met him watching the movie "Better half" produced by Ruth kadiri.

Then i saw a flask on his table. I opened it and there was egusi soup and semo inside the flask.

Guy you no go eat? I asked emeka.

No. na my female neighbor, next door bring the food, I want to throw it away self. he said still staying glued to his TV.

You want to throw away food?, food that some body stayed up for hours to prepare and then brings it to you., you want to throw away free food in this recession? do you even know how much fuel cost in this recession? I asked him.

Wetin concern fuel and food? he asked me...

You can never know. OK, ayo calm down. I said to myself.

Why do you want to throw the food away? I asked him.

The girl behaves some how and to self(before he could complete the sentence, I cut him short).

Wait, wait ehhn. just go inside your bedroom, bring your bed, pillow, bedsheets, clothes. gather them together and explain everything to them. Just allow me eat first. I said.

He was just looking at me, then I started eating.

I was in the middle of eating the food, you said you are not eating abi? I asked him

Suit yourself. he said and continued watching the movie.

After I was done eating.

Eh ehnn.. atleast now, morning, afternoon and evening food don enter stomach. I said.

After I finished eating the food. I went home.

I was sleeping when I heard

Is this the neighbor, you brought to be sacrif!ced? voice 1. asked.

No, queen mother. it must be his friend, I didn't know he was the one that ate the food. voice 2 said.

Its okay. he can still be used for the r!tuals. voice 1 said.

I stood up immediately and realized I was no longer in my bed, neither was I in my house. I was in a coven where red ropes was tied round.

Me checking to find out where I am:

23/07/2023

Just for fun

🤣🤣🤣😂
A man was suspecting his wife of chēating he decided to go to his village and consult a jūjū man. The jūjū man told him to come back in two weeks bringing along some sample of sand from his yard. So the man went back after two weeks with the sample of sand.The jūjū man performed his ritūals and said to the man...."I don't know if you can handle hearing this. The man said go ahead. I want to hear it , The jūjū man said the two boys you have are not your sons, your daughter is seeing five different men and your wife is pregnant for your younger brother."🙆🏼‍♂ The man started laughing. The jūjū man asked him why he was laughing, after all these bād news😂The man responded, I don't know if you can handle this. The jūjū man said go ahead. The man said, I was running late and I forgot to bring the sand sample from my yard, so I dug out some from your compound.🏃BABALAWO SHOUTED
"JESUS CHRIST!!😂🏃

Love y'all 🥰👉 Author..
Molly Farren