COMING SOON
The Wandering
A community based group designed to foster wonder as we wander towards self and body acceptance.
The Wandering is a community of humans trying to find their way back to their authentic selves. We find ourselves on different paths but travelling in the same direction of a life we desire and deserve. I realized that my favorite interactions with my community came from my excitement to explore and share, try something then teach it, and guiding others on their own paths to using creativity, curiosity and compassion. Moving towards self acceptance is certainly not a straight line and it requires a lot of wandering - in and out of things that lights us up and the things that bring us down - to realize what direction we need to head in. It's about removing the shame and letting go of the what ifs of the past, instead creating the future of our desires.
This community isn't about a linear direction or systematic approach to life. We are not here to biohack or "speed up" the heal process. We will not be looking for a destination.
Instead, we will wander & wonder, embracing the process with curiosity of our inner children, letting them guide us home to ourselves.
In the community you will find:
â¨An ever growing library of video + written resources focused on self and body acceptance
â¨Monthly ZOOM hangouts for check ins & support
â¨Monthly challenges designed to encourage empowered action and exploration
â¨Book Reviews
â¨Free or discounted online/in person workshops + retreats
â¨More! It will grow as the community grows and evolves and asks questions đĽ°
The Wandering will be a non-meta focused approach to connection and while I will still maintain somewhat of a presence here, but the majority of my energy will be focused off of these platforms and into a space of positivity and love.
Basically I just wanna wander the world creating beautiful art and uplifting humans to see beauty in themselves and around them.
Registration will
1 body image bias that's keeping you stuck and the 1 question you can ask to free yourself!
Say hello to Authority Bias - the bias that convinces us that people in perceived authority positions are excessively credible. Children are extremely susceptible to this as they rely on their authority figures (parents, guardians, elder family members, teachers, etc) for not just their care, but also their survival.
This is why what adults say to kids matters - they will believe it as TRUTH.
That truth can follow them (us) into adulthood convincing us that we don't have the right body or aren't smart enough or pretty enough to go after certain things.
The 1 question we can ask to navigate this bias is:
Who taught me that?
Understanding who we inherited that thought from in the first place can help us begin to shift our internal soundtrack realizing that our truth isn't necessarily THE truth. And if we can assign a name to the unhelpful thoughts, then it's easier to tell them to f**k off đ so we can keep moving in the direction of our dreams.
So, see if there are any lingering beliefs that have followed you from childhood and see if you can swap that old thought for something new that supports the person you want to become!
Stay curious & stay kind, cuties!
Hold your phone to your ear like you are getting a phone call. đ
Dreamy Romantic vibes with @ren.ka_r
I will never regret renting a truck to get that chaise off of marketplace.
Can you imagine yourself lying across it?
Because I caaaaaan đ
đ Ps. If you are coming to the @fatmarketyyc Fat Angel Babe Market this weekend I will be doing a few giveaways - one for a session valued at over $4500!!! đđđđ
I have a big Q for you today!
What has your BODY IMAGE stopped you from doing?
Note: I didn't say your body, but rather, how you view your body.
Our perception of ourselves stops so many of us from living and I'm trying to collect some info.
Here are a few things that my body image has stopped me from:
- setting boundaries that benefit me
- asking for more money
- going after certain achievements
- stop dancing for 27 years
- acting
- believing that I don't deserve certain things
- believing that I "can't" wear certain things
- having a fixed mindset that certain people won't be my friend because of how I look unless I give them something đ
And that's only a few and only when I have high self assurance!!
So I am curious, how has the way you view your body gotten in the way of you living your life?
ON THE YOUTUBE:
I accidentally published my episode with @thepsychicoach a week early on YouTube so you can get the insights from our very energized and powerful conversation about the Squidginess of Owning your Intuitive gifts.
I met Karly in Arizona last year and we traded sessions - I did a Clifton Strengths reading for her and she did a Soul Reading for me and both of us walked away with some powerful guidance and self awareness.
I knew I had to have her on the podcast because at this point in history there's so much noise that many of us are dulling, dimming or ignoring our intuitive gifts đ but those are the very gifts that are needed to heal this world.
To get the video link in your DMs simply comment PSYCHIC or give me the ⨠emoji and my robot will drop it in your inbox!
Let me tell you about a kid I used to babysit. Heâd do weird things, like lick the salt off pretzels and put them back in the bowl for anyone to grab. But his favorite move? Calling people âGARLICS.â
Yes, garlics.
Heâd sneer and say, âGet outta my way, you garlic,â or just yell, âYOUâRE A GARLIC!â đ§
Iâd laugh because, honestly, it didnât bother me. I knew I wasnât a garlic, so it had zero effect.
But then I started wondering: why didnât that sting, but being called âfatsoâ or âdisgustingâ when I was younger did? Was it because, on some level, I feared those other words were true about me?
Answer: YES.
A past boss once told me, âIf it stings, thereâs probably some truth to it.â At the time, she used that as an excuse for her insults, but the idea stuck with me. If something hurts, itâs often because our own truth is attached to it. And hereâs the thing: our truth isnât the truth.
Being called âgarlicâ didnât sting because I knew THE truthâIâm not a garlic. But when people body-shamed me, I took it personally because I believed those things about myself. Like many of us raised on 80s/90s diet culture, my truth was shaped by those influences.
When I did body image work, I discovered THE truth: fat is just a descriptor. Over time, those words lost their powerâjust like being called âgarlic.â
That said, even when we make peace with the words, intent and intimacy can still sting. Someone close to us saying something hurtful lands differently than a random insult. But hereâs the good news: that discomfort is a great starting point to explore what we believe.
Next time you feel that sting, ask yourself: âWhat part of my truth is being triggered?â and âDo I still believe this? If so, how can I shift from MY truth to THE truth?â By getting curious, you can release the power those words have over you and reclaim your narrative.
Stay curious and kind, my friend!
Let me tell you about a kid I used to babysit. Heâd do weird things, like lick the salt off pretzels and put them back in the bowl for anyone to grab. But his favorite move? Calling people âGARLICS.â
Yes, garlics.
Heâd sneer and say, âGet outta my way, you garlic,â or just yell, âYOUâRE A GARLIC!â
Iâd laugh because, honestly, it didnât bother me. I knew I wasnât a garlic, so it had zero effect.
But then I started wondering: why didnât that sting, but being called âfatsoâ or âdisgustingâ when I was younger did? Was it because, on some level, I feared those other words were true about me?
Answer: YES.
A past boss once told me, âIf it stings, thereâs probably some truth to it.â At the time, she used that as an excuse for her insults, but the idea stuck with me. If something hurts, itâs often because our own truth is attached to it. And hereâs the thing: our truth isnât the truth.
Being called âgarlicâ didnât sting because I knew THE truthâIâm not a garlic. But when people body-shamed me, I took it personally because I believed those things about myself. Like many of us raised on 80s/90s diet culture, my truth was shaped by those influences.
When I did body image work, I discovered THE truth: fat is just a descriptor. Over time, those words lost their powerâjust like being called âgarlic.â
That said, even when we make peace with the words, intent and intimacy can still sting. Someone close to us saying something hurtful lands differently than a random insult. But hereâs the good news: that discomfort is a great starting point to explore what we believe.
Next time you feel that sting, ask yourself: âWhat part of my truth is being triggered?â and âDo I still believe this? If so, how can I shift from MY truth to THE truth?â By getting curious, you can release the power those words have over you and reclaim your narrative.
Stay curious and kind, my friend!
Negativity bias is part of us whether we want it to be or not.
This is why it's easier for you to remember the first time someone told you your body wasn't good enough, but not the countless people told you it was. (Not that we need people to tell us for it to be true, but you get what I'm saying).
Our brains are trying to protect us by reminding us of all the negative things people have said about bodies like ours (or bodies not like ours that we fear becoming!) so that we can fit in, belong, and survive.
Over time we adopt those memories as beliefs /truths that make us want to be small - both in size & spirit.
So it's integral for us to be intentional about sowing positivity & neutrality into our brains to compensate/create new evidence.
You can't expect flowers to grow if you don't plant the seeds, my friend.
For more body image guidance, grab a copy of my book The Geode Theory: Chipping Away at Body Image - comment BOOK and I'll send ya the linky poo!
I love, love, love this audio by @rvxmendoza and am just astounded by how impactful these words are for every person who has been told, and believed, they need to wait for life because they are "too fat."
As a boudoir photographer I heard it over and over and over again:
"When I lose weight..."
"I'm too fat..."
"I can't because I'm too..."
But here's the thing - the camera cares not for your weight. It (and I!) are happy to provide you the experience and surprise you.
Regardless of a person's size, the majority of folks fear becoming or staying fat and that distraction keeps many of us from doing the things that could light up our lives.
Here are a few things I've done while fat:
â¨Gave a @tedx talk that's changing lives
â¨Took my clothes off on stage in front of 400+ people
â¨Traveled the globe
â¨Found love worthy of my SELF
â¨Made some of the best friends I could ever imagine
â¨Started a business
â¨Graduated university
â¨Got my certification in Applied Positive Psychology
â¨Helped change the photography industry to be more inclusive
â¨Was on tv
â¨Played competitive sports
â¨Got my black belt
â¨Won a gold medal for the world championships of kuk sool won
â¨Was part of an award winning documentary
â¨Learned how to scooter (lol)
â¨Moved to foreign countries
â¨Became an amazing aunty
â¨Took ballet at 27 and was part of a recital
â¨Swam in so many oceans (nudie swimming in some!)
â¨Laughed a lot
â¨Been photographed a lot
â¨Donated thousands of dollars to women's charities
â¨And more!
Many times in my younger year I believed I was "too fat" to do many of those things until I realized, for most of the things it wasn't my body stopping me, but rather my THOUGHTS about my body.
Whatever you've been putting off because you think you're "too fat" - start doing it and see what happens!
You might just surprise yourself.
#doitfat
[Sometimes our bodies DO stop us from doing things the way we've been taught they "should" be done, but don't let
I just finished watching one of the episodes of the new season of @queereye and after I stopped bawling my eyes out, I had a realization.
There's one part in that show where they show the mom the house and are like "Look! Photos of your daughter - you never had any photos up before!"
And it reminded me of this study that was done that basically said kids who have photos of themselves up in their homes feel a greater sense of belonging and thus, have an improved self esteem.
So it got me thinking about us as adults...
I remember back in the days when I had more photos of dead relatives and pets on my wall than I did of myself AND my self esteem was absolute sh*te.
When I became a photog and starting being photographed by others I began to print the images and put them up in my home - and with that came a renewed sense of confidence and improved self esteem. Of course I was doing a lot of other things to help too, but seeing myself as ART changed the way I saw myself.
As a photographer I saw this most with the moms - they'd tell me how they'd feel this lack of belonging to their family unit as though they are separate from everyone else. If they were in photos it was hiding behind the kids or partner - never center stage. No wonder they felt disconnected!! It was like they were looking AT their family instead of being part of the family.
So my recommendation is this:
Get in the damn photo.
Have photos of yourself on your walls.
(You don't have to be nudi - but you could! Anonymous shots are great for this!!)
Show yourself that you belong.
Improve your own self esteem by remembering who tf you are on the daily be SEEING yourself.
And if you're looking for a photographer to make it happen, I happen to know a fab one who cares about your body, your body image and your consent! (Hi - it's me!) But regardless of how you get in the photo do it and then PRINT it.
You deserve to have more than just dead people and pets on your wall - you deserve to belong.
Xoxo
T
Photographers!!
You know I'm big on asking the Q's for your own reflection, but here are 2 Q's that are going to help get your creativity back AND help you create an experience + images that are going to shift your work from only creating "flattering"𤢠photos (booooring) to photos that translate FEELING â¨(exciiĂiiting!)
Now the 1st one, I think a lot of people already do:
"What is 1 thing you want to feel during your session AND when you look at your photos?"
Now this is where most photogs stop, because they will take that word and apply THEIR experience of that word to the photoshoot - but the reality is:
We all experience the words we choose differently.
So we need to ask our clients more, which brings us to Q 2:
"When was the last time you felt that?"
This will give you insight into what makes THEM feel the way they want to feel. It will start the conversation of being able to explore their experience of that word further and give you the opportunity to truly create for them by asking even more Q's:
What color would you assign to that feeling?
What texture do you think of when you think of that feeling?
Now you can create an entire experience, using all of their senses to help them truly EMBODY a feeling instead of walking away with "pretty pics".
In the past, photography has been heavily patriarchal :
"I'll tell YOU what sexy looks like"
But if we can move to more of a collaborative way of creating:
"What does sexy mean to you?"
Then we can really work with our clients to make magic and leave them feeling empowered in the process.
If you want to go deeper with the Q's for your clients, I have the questionnaire templates I use for my clients available to purchase. Comment Q and my robot will send the deets to your DMs!
Ps. Head to my stories to see what I mean - I did a little Q&A action in the stories the last few days to show you how people experience words differently!!
Your go-to gal for unf*cking your beliefs about your body & self so you can live more authentically [email protected]
