12/26/2025
Apologies that it only arrived on Boxing Day (hey, at least they’re box shaped!), we didn’t manage to finish a new Night Before Squidmas in time OR remember to repost the old one. So have a repeat of last year’s!
Settle in for a fine nerdy tale this Xmas eve, Squidizens! We have a new one to tell!
Twas the night before Squidmas, 'neath a sky filled with grey,
The clouds began swirling with the tricks of the fey
The snow far below which lay coating the ground
Now caught with enchantment, began roiling around
Pushed upright like daisies, the snowfield had bloomed
And stately Platonic new forms were assumed
With eight pointed corners and six equal faces
Where snowflakes had lain, ten great cubes took their places
They glimmered and glinted in the meagre moonlight
With beady black eyes staring out at the night
All quivering and shimmering they slid 'cross the moor
And two hours later, they arrived at our door
Maker-human sat cozy in Squidmas repose
While I sat apart writing questionable prose
But from the front hall came an echoing 'squorch'
And we ran to find cubes waiting on the front porch
In the spirit of Squidmas, we brought them inside
And a last-minute feast we sprang to provide
Candies and chocolates and cider we brought
And the cubes, as they wobbled, devoured the lot
But though they slurped everything we could provide
Their hunger seemed always quite unsatisfied
And after we'd given all that we were able
They continued to jiggle, spreading slime on the table
And just when we thought that it might be our fate
On this cubic wassail we'd eternally wait
The house was lit up with a bright purple flare
And Wubby, our mascot, leapt out of thin air
He gave a warm grin (in his strange mouthless way)
"These six-sided troubles," he said, "shall not stay!
The cubes have a singular diet, take heed:
On dungeony dragony things do they feed!"
In each of his tentacles (ten, I should tell)
A nerdular icon or trinket he held
A spellbook, a d12, a bard figurine
The D&D issue of Time magazine
These geek-things, and others, he tossed to the cubes
Who sucked them up fiercely as through they were tubes
And fed with such nerdom, they started to swell
Breaking most of the table, which naturally fell
But that crafty old Wubby had come with a plan
And swept up every cube with deft squid-of-hand
And with tentacles full of gelatinous fright
He sprang through the back door out into the night
He built up his pace with a hop and a skip
And his trademark maneuver, the legless backflip
Then finally the whimsical squid did let fly
And the cubes were released, sailing into the sky
How joyous they sounded, when, starting to drop
Each cube did explode with a sonorous 'plop'
And as they combusted, while we watched below
They fell back to earth as quite unhungry snow
Wubby launched into the drift with delight
And a cut a sweet snow angel, purple on white
Then he climbed up the gutter and mounted the gable
While we humans started making repairs to our table
He looked out on the neighbourhood, dark and serene
With not one gelatinous cube to be seen
And he called to all people, to wise men and rubes
"Merry Squidmas! May you not be devoured by cubes!"
