06/26/2024
I have done absolutely everything that I could to regain a dignified life. I have meditated, therapied, prayed, and even spiritual bypassed (for a few minutes here and there 😊). I have walked it through, talked it through, and ice-creamed (befittingly–Rocky Road) it through. I have approached and engaged every system in the land seeking support. And yet the savagery continues. I will never understand why the organization behind all of these dehumanizing techno-terror games continued, if they truly wanted me to let it all go. I understand that it works on most people, but if it becomes evident that you are terrorizing someone who will always push back, it makes more sense to stop. Because then the nervous system can regulate, and perspective can change. But if you don’t stop, the only reasonable conclusion that anyone can come to is that you never will. That’s not even a psychological conclusion–it’s a physiological one. If you are thrust onto a battlefield for 3+ years, with all manner of politically motivated threat before you, you’d be a fool to think it would stop if you did. We’re just not wired that way as a species. The only thing that has stopped me is God’s Good Graces, in a myriad of forms. It’s not fear. I have achieved most everything I wanted in this life. It’s my prayer for a better world. Count your blessings–I haven’t stopped praying just yet.