19/12/2024
Why Humans Would Lose in a Fight Against the Australian Yowie.
Let’s set the scene. After several beers at the pub, we decide that it would be a great idea to send two rough, tough wrestlers into the forests to drag out the local Yowie. Working on the assumption that a Yowie is most closely related to a Primate, here’s why this would be a bad idea:
The Power of Muscle Fibre
Humans, even at their peak physical fitness, have limitations dictated by their muscle composition. Human musculature consists of a mix of slow-twitch and fast-twitch fibres. Slow-twitch fibres support endurance, while fast-twitch fibres provide explosive strength and speed. Even elite athletes have only a modest percentage of fast-twitch muscle fibres, often falling below 50%.
A Yowie, on the other hand, would likely have a vastly higher concentration of fast-twitch muscle fibres, given the reported sightings that describe these creatures as agile, powerful, and capable of quick, immense bursts of movement. This type of musculature would allow the Yowie to excel in explosive strength, speed, and agility, putting any human opponent at an immediate disadvantage.
For comparison, even chimpanzees—smaller than humans—are estimated to be 1.5 times stronger than us due to their muscle fibre distribution. Scaling this to a Yowie, a creature described as standing 240 plus cm tall and weighing over 227kgs, the gap in raw strength would be immense.
Bite Force: The Crushing Edge
In addition to superior musculature, the Yowie’s bite force would be a game-changer in any confrontation. Reports of sightings often describe a large sagittal crest—a ridge of bone running along the top of the skull. This feature, as in a gorilla, is not decorative; it serves as the attachment point for the temporalis muscles, which are responsible for closing the jaw.
Among great apes, a pronounced sagittal crest is associated with exceptional bite strength. Gorillas, for instance, with their prominent crests, can deliver bite forces exceeding 1,300 psi, far outstripping the human maximum of about 200 psi. If the Yowie shares this anatomical feature, it would likely boast a bite force even greater than a gorilla’s, potentially rivaling top-tier predators like lions or crocodiles (3,700 psi).
Such a bite force, paired with large, strong teeth, would give the Yowie an incredible advantage in combat or survival. Whether used for breaking through tough vegetation, crushing bones, or defending itself against threats, this capability would place it well above humans on the physical hierarchy. A human attempting to match this strength in a direct encounter would face an opponent with crushing, inescapable power.
A One-Sided Fight
When considering both muscle composition and bite force, it becomes clear that humans are outclassed in nearly every physical aspect. Our evolutionary trajectory prioritised intellect, endurance, and tool use over raw power. A Yowie, by contrast, would be a creature optimised for its wild, untamed environment—an apex being with strength, speed, and crushing force that no human could rival.
While the idea of such a confrontation might make for thrilling speculation, the outcome is all but certain: humanity’s strongest representatives would stand little chance against a creature like the Yowie, whose evolutionary advantages would render it an unstoppable force in the wilderness.
