01/09/2025
“It was the biggest march we’ve ever seen!”... Said a bloke with sunglasses on his neck and a Telegram group called Patriot Sauce Australia.
Some cookers are claiming yesterday’s 'March for Australia' drew 20,000 to 50,000 in Melbourne. One even reckons 100,000 showed up... which is cute, because if cookers could count, they wouldn’t be at these rallies to begin with.
So I did a little digging.
• First image:
An actual aerial photo of the Melbourne protest outside Flinders Street Station.
• Second image:
I generously mapped out the crowd area. It’s roughly 4,327 square metres.
• Now let’s talk density.
According to real crowd modelling,
“crowded” is about 2 people per sqm... that’s shoulder-to-shoulder, arms tucked, no room for flag twirling or v**e clouds.
The protest?
Not packed, but not sparse either.
So let’s be fair and use that “crowded” density.
That gives us: 8,654 people. Max.
Unless people were standing on each other’s shoulders like circus acrobats (which… would’ve been amazing),
that’s it. That’s the limit.
So no, it wasn’t 20k.
It wasn’t 50k.
And unless several busloads of imaginary friends showed up... it definitely wasn’t 100,000.
Just another day of loud voices in a small room.
