Jimmy on Relationships

25/03/2025

Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can't sustain you.
You have to save yourself knowing all the while it hurts like hell because you can't keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return.

25/03/2025

25/03/2025

25/03/2025

Things to normalize in our relationships...

* Asking for time, attention, & reassurance.
* Having different perspectives and opinions.
* Changing our minds when something doesn't feel right.
* Collaborating about how to meet each other's wants/ needs.
* Feeling disappointed or frustrated with each other.
* Gently asking for clarity and/ or further understanding.
* Differences in intimacy preferences and desires.
* That conflict is inevitable (how it is handled is what matters).
* Fears & uncertainties about the future of the relationship.
* Validating our partner's experiences even if we don't "get it."
* Messing up and demonstrating accountability when we do.
* That some days will be harder than others.

25/03/2025

👇👇

25/03/2025

Don't stay with someone because...
* They are all you know and you're afraid of being alone.
* You worry about the impact on your children.
* You love them more than you love yourself.
Instead stay because...
* The relationship you have will serve as a healthy model for the children.
* You feel secure in yourself around them.
* They help you maintain your individuality.
* It is a safe and healthy space to be.
* There is mutual respect and commitment within the relationship, through the good and the ugly.

25/03/2025

No strong relationship is built without...
* Intimacy and vulnerability - we both care enough to want to be here and equally want to share parts of ourselves to one another.
* Trust - I can count on you, and I don't have to doubt your commitment to me, it's always there even when we're in the midst of an argument.
* Communication and respect - we're not going to shut each other out or talk over one another. We're going to talk to each other and exist with one another in a way that says "I regard you highly. You're important to me".
* Empathy - I'll do my best even during the moments where we really do not see eye-to-eye,
the bare
minimum is to not ridicule one another's feelings.
* Teamwork - rather than "you must do these tasks" we'll figure out how to make it a harmonious and fair space together.

25/03/2025

Childhood trauma in adult relationships can look like
* Having fears of abandonment.
* Struggle with trusting your partner.
* May find it hard to take in constructive criticism.
* Needing more space in comparison to others to self-soothe and regulate your nervous system.
* Either you don't want to rely on your partner at all, or you take on too much in the relationship.
* Settling and staying in unhealthy relationships.
* Poor communication skills.
* Either constant arguing in your relationships or keeping silent to avoid conflict.
* Trying to change your partner or changing yourself for your relationships.
* Avoiding relationships/fear of commitment.
* Not knowing how to repair and come together after a disagreement.

24/03/2025

Remember even a healthy love includes these;

* Having the occasional argument and disagreements.
* May sometimes still not adequately communicate.
* May not always exercise listening skills properly.
* Can accept partners flaws but does not mean you don't at times, find those traits frustrating.
* Do not have a "perfect" relationship, but incorporate continuous check-ins to commit to growing together.
* Have to ongoingly work on how to repair issues in the relationship.
* Sometimes may end up hurting one another feelings.

24/03/2025

For many of us, our breakups don't snap. They bend. And bend, and bend. Our relationship may have expired but we don't throw it out. We don't know how. So it stays and rots and stinks up everything around it. no one taught us about the other side of love. How to end things. Until we realize that we're making it about us.
Not hurting someone is not the gift.
Letting go with both hands is.