Wife to Widow

23/07/2024

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23/07/2024

I've just reached 100 followers! Thank you for continuing support. Moving forward gracefully on the grief journey.

18/07/2024

❤️❤️❤️

29/06/2024

From Glory to Glory is your story. 👏

16/06/2024

🤎

28/05/2024

I'm not going to candy coat how painful a devastating loss is and I'm not going to pretend like "it's not that bad" when the truth is, it really is that bad - after someone you love dies.

Life can literally feel like a complete s**t show after death. It's messy, unpredictable, and exhausting. And it can take a long time before the dust settles and you start to get your bearings again.

To say the least, life can feel disorienting after loss. Nothing makes sense or looks familiar. And things that might feel simple, become challenging to tend to and do. For a while.

Life after death is one of the hardest things to manage and while you will learn to better navigate all of the landmines that seem to appear at every turn, it takes time.

There are no magical fixes. No amount of sleep, eating healthy greens, drinking smoothies, exercise, meditation, deep breathing, soothing bubble baths, hydration, or massages will take your grief away.

Grief can't be fixed and time doesn't heal all of your wounds. You can't eat, drink, or exercise your grief away.

With that being said, there are so many things you can do. Things that can help you to weather the darkest of storms and eventually rebuild a new and different life.

It's true life won't feel the same. But it's possible to live a life with a purpose again. It's possible to find hope and joy in the middle of the mess with lots of self-love and hard work.

While none of the things I mentioned above will magically fix your grief, self-care is critical to your well-being and it's necessary if you want to find a path forward alongside your grief.

Even the smallest of things like taking a shower, eating an apple, drinking water, or getting outside for a walk can feel overwhelming in the early days after loss. But it's the smallest of things that will lead you back to believing you can survive and guide you back to a sense of purpose again.

Start small and remember, life may feel like a s**t show right now, but YOU are not a s**t show. You are a grieving human and you deserve nothing but kindness, love, support, and understanding. For as long as you need.

michele

20/05/2024

A good read… The many emotions of GRIEF.🖤

The many emotions of grief..

Are so vast.
So deep.

Sometimes overlapping. Sometimes overwhelming. Sometimes they come on so fast that you can’t even name them.

Sadness. This is a given. Sometimes to the point of despair. Feeling so empty because you would do anything for just another moment with them or the opportunity to say goodbye. Days when the tears keep flowing you don’t think they will ever stop. Sometimes crying so hard you feel like you slightly touch the deep emptiness within.

Jealousy. Seeing people just go on with their mundane lives without a care in the world. And you are….just lost. It would be so nice to just switch places with them. Then there is seeing people with their loved ones. The ones you lost in your life. You ache for them back and want so badly what you can’t have.

Confusion. You can see life happening around you but you just can’t touch it. You forget what you were trying to do. Why you walked into that room. Lack of sleep results in slowed movements about the house. You feel like you are physically here but your mind is so far away. With loss in the forefront of your thoughts everything else is just….irrelevant.

Anger. This emotion swirls around often and usually ends up in a release of hot tears. Because it’s conflicting and confusing. Anger for feeling like they abandoned you. Without a chance to tell them all that you want to. Sometimes you feel angry at God. Why did it have to happen to such a wonderful person? Why did this happen? Angry because these questions go unanswered. Or about some of the unhelpful advice we get from well meaning people.

Guilt. This is a strong emotion in grief. Guilt for trying to heal and move forward but also feeling like you are leaving them behind. Guilt for the things left unsaid or how you would want to change those last moments. Guilt for being so sad or cancelling plans when people expect you to be better by now.

Loneliness. Wanting to be alone because you can’t possibly relate to anyone else right now. Texts go unanswered on your end. Because how do you answer the questions of “how are you doing?”when your whole life feels like it imploded? The only company you want right now is the one person you can’t have. It feels like the whole world is empty without them.

Fear. About losing other people you love. When loss touches you like this you become aware just how fast it can happen. Fear of the silence. Fear about your future looks like without them. Fear of your vast feelings. Fear about leaving your own loved ones behind.

Relief. This emotion usually overlays confusion. Because how on earth can you feel relief? But sometimes it unexpectedly sneaks in. Knowing your loved one no longer is struggling. No longer in pain. Safe in Heaven. Where it is always beautiful.

Hope. That they are waiting for you up there. That one day you will see them again. That these feelings of grief will ease as time goes on and you will be able to smile after a memory instead of breaking down. That you will be proud of yourself for how much you tried and for how far you have come. Hope that you can reach out and ask for help when you need it. Hope that someday when you are stronger you might just be able to help someone else in the midst of their grief.

Author Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

03/05/2024

Healing comes when we share our stories.
It also gives others permission to do the same.

29/04/2024

You can grieve And find joy again... So don't give up hope.

24/04/2024

❣️

12/04/2024

PRE-ORDER WIFE TO WIDOW ✨

10/04/2024

Why this cover for my book?

One evening before bed, I asked God to allow me to see Gerald in my dreams. I told God that I miss my husband so much and I just want to see his face and hold his hand.
That night I had the most beautiful dream ever, it left me in awe for days.

In my dream I saw an invisible hand reaching out to me, I knew it was Gerald's hand. He held my hand tightly and we took a long walk. Gerald didn't say much, I did the talking and he just listened. But the peace I felt was just so amazing, so comforting.

When I woke up, I still felt it.
I explained the dream to my daughter Sharon Ruth Armoed and that I want that picture for my book cover and she did it.

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Wife to Widow is a personal story from being a happily married woman for 29years to a young Widow.
This book isn't just for Widows but every person who has experienced grief, and I would say for married couples as well.
Death, Funeral policies, Wills and your Estate are things that married couples avoid talking about.
Gerald and myself didn't .... And it caused a lot of stress and anxiety.

This book is a must in your book shelf.
Contact Elize (0788463476) to Pre-order yours.

15/03/2024

🤍🤍🤍

05/03/2024

We live in a world that loves to celebrate.

We celebrate the day someone is born, the day someone gets married, graduation day, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and we even celebrate love on Valentines Day year after year.

Yet, society struggles to acknowledge and honor the day someone dies or the grief we carry year after year.

For those of us left behind after a loved one dies, the day life changed forever becomes etched in our hearts and minds.

I'm not saying it's a happy event nor do most people feel like celebrating on those painful days. But it's a day that deserves to be remembered and honored. A day that became an important part of your life.

Instead of acknowledging a death anniversary or grief itself, we live in a world that's often uncomfortable with grief and society often glosses over most things that are tied to the pain of it all.

Personally, I acknowledge the day my loved ones died. I continue to honor their birthdays even though they are physically gone. I remember and soak in the memories of all the special days shared and just like love, I will always honor the grief I carry.

Because grief means something. It means someone mattered. It means someone was here and it's a testament to the love that's bigger than both life and death.

But this is your journey and please remember that you can do whatever feels most comfortable to you. You get to grieve for as long as you need and yes, that includes for the rest of your life if that's what you need to do.

You get to honor your grief. You get to acknowledge and honor the day your loved one died year after year. You get to celebrate their birthday if that brings you contentment and joy.

There's no right or wrong way when it comes to loss, love, and grief. I know people who choose to acknowledge their loved ones birthday but choose not to dwell on the day their loved one died.

What's most important is that you give yourself permission to grieve and to honor your loved one in whatever way feels right for you.

I'm sending you lots of love today and on any day that you miss your loved one even more.

02/03/2024

25/02/2024

His Promises are Yes and Amen.

02/02/2024

Grief is not a sign of weakness. It is, rather a healthy and fitting response to a loss, a tribute to a loved one who has died.

Do you need to know more about Griefshare?
Contact me and I will connect you with the facilitator.
This course helped me alot. And I know it will help you. ❤️

26/01/2024

Hi Elize. I received your book as a gift from a friend. What an amazing story. One I could relate to. My love passed also during covid June 2021. So I went thru the same stuff. Thank u for sharing your story with others and for the encouraging messages in there. It's not easy being a widow but as u mention, have a grip on God's hand and never let go. ❤️

🏵️Our story/testimony gives others hope and courage to move forward.

22/01/2024

It's about our journey.
Tag a friend who needs to hear this❤️

14/01/2024

💛

10/01/2024

Loss breaks our hearts open until they’re barely recognizable.

Everything we thought we knew about our world and ourselves changes in an instant. The pain is staggering and overwhelming.

But to those hearts that are hurting so badly, I offer you this gentle reminder:

The person you lost, the person you are missing: they mattered so deeply.

While they were here, they poured their love into you.

They wrote their story in your heart to give you something to carry with you.

The pain of their absence is a reminder of how much their presence mattered and how much their love mattered.

And while grief means learning to express and share that love differently, it is still within you: so strong and steady.

The person you are has been shaped, in part, by the love you’ve been given.

Because they were here and it mattered.

And despite your pain, you are here, and it matters.

The way you carry the love of everyone you’ve lost matters.

The way you continue to pour love into the hearts around you matters.

The way, day after day, your hurting heart continues to bring kindness and empathy into the scary unknowns and this uncertain terrain: it matters.

And we may never fully get to understand how much of an impact that love makes, but it is growing and it is taking root in the hearts of everyone whose lives intersect with ours, just as the love we’ve been given has grown so beautifully within us.

It matters.

So, may you take these two simple truths forward with you today:

They were here, and it mattered.

You are here, and it matters.

-Liz Newman

06/01/2024

Me too, little sock. Me, too.

But, oh how thankful I am for the Lover of my soul!

I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭16‬:‭8‬
Pastor'sWife.

01/01/2024

2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣

05/12/2023

The widow’s Christmas list and meaningful ways to engage with her:
I wish that I could hear my husband’s voice just one more time.
• Tell stories of the impact her husband made on your life.
I wish that he would walk in the door.
• Walk into her life in practical ways: bring a meal, extend an invitation, offer a helping hand.
I wish that we could have one more unhurried conversation.
• Ask questions that give her permission to share what’s on her heart.
I wish that I could hear his laugh.
• Remind her of the ways her husband brought her joy.
• Invite her to a game night where she can experience fun with others.
I wish that he were here to hold me close.
• Touch is powerful. Take her hands when offering up a prayer. Give her a hug and tell her that she’s doing a good job.
I wish that he were here to help me make that decision.
• Listen as she shares the decisions she is trying to make and connect her with wise counsel or resources needed.
I wish that he could see our children all grown up.
• Tell her children that their dad would be proud. Tell her that she is doing a great job balancing so many things.
I wish that he could see the faithfulness of God in our lives.
• Celebrate with her the faithfulness of God.
I wish that he could see the changes for good that I have made.
• Thank God with her for the gift of grace and the gifts that come with grief.
I wish that I could tell him how much I love and miss him.
• Remind her that she is deeply loved by God.

02/12/2023

Lord, I pray over my sweet friends whose hearts are still so tender. Perhaps they’re healing, maybe they’ve felt joy recently that sort of snuck up on them. And we praise You for that.

But today my heart is burdened for their hearts as they walk into December. All about us are reminders of memories they treasure but also twinge with pain. They see the Hallmark movies that highlight all the love stories, they hear the songs about finding love at Christmas, and they even watch their children relish in their own marriages and grandchildren discovering new love.

Father, pick up these dear hearts in Your hands today and steady them. Bring calm when the rapid heartbeat escalates. Heal the hurting places with Your tender Spirit. And be their personal es**rt as they walk into each holiday event…unaccompanied by the love of their life.

Lord, be their constant companion. Do for them what only You can do. When others say things that are meant well, but would stir up old wounds, let those remarks fly over, unheard by these beautiful women. May their hearts be dulled to the burden of pain and tender to the warmth of Your love, peace, joy, and healing.

May the celebration of Your birth bring a fresh revelation of Your faithfulness to keep Your promises this year. And in all things—joy or pain—we give You praise. You’re worthy of it all.

In the precious, perfect, flawless name of Jesus—let it be done.

Amen

(Written by my friend, Bridgette Tomlin)

22/11/2023

Are you struggling to journey through grief or you know of someone who's grieving? This is the perfect gift for the festive season, It will bring you so much comfort 🤗

R150 each (excluding courier)
PRE-ORDER AS STOCK IS LIMITED 🤎

21/11/2023

O LORD my God, I cried to You and You have healed me. Psalm 30:2