03/08/2020
" "SUICIDE!"..it's something I've been thinking about. Not too seriously, but I have been thinking about it"
That's the note. word for word & I know it's a word for a word because I wrote it dozens of times before delivering it. I'd write it, throw it away, write it, delete it.
But why was I writing it in the beginning!?..I asked myself that Everytime I printed the words on to a new s**t of paper & on my posts. Why was I writing this note!?..It was a lie. I hadn't been thinking about it. Not really. Not in detail.The thought would come into my head & I'd push it away
But I think I've pushed it away a lot that I have doubts about pushing it away this time