The Fifth Column / Podcast

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The Fifth Column / Podcast

Matt Welch (Reason) Michael Moynihan (Vice) and Kmele Foster (Freethink) pick apart the news, interr Analysis. Commentary. Sedition.

12/08/2024

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Episode #439 - The Return of the Sexiest Guest Alive

with Steve Kornacki

Why waste time with discursive show notes when you can just say two very simple words? Steve Kornacki. One of People’s “Sexiest Men Alive” returns to the Fifth (for his fourth appearance??) to breakdown the latest polls, prognosticate on what happens to the Republican Party if Trump loses, and subtly reveal that he might be a degenerate blackjack player. Just listen. It’s a good one.

Why waste time with discursive show notes when you can just say two very simple words?

12/08/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #220 - The Hottest Country Ever Invaded

An ethereum veep bet (Note: U.S.

02/08/2024

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Episode #438 - The Tsarina Has Abdicated. The Audie Murphys of Journalism. The Veep Will Make Toasters

Anything happen since we left?

La Bubblewrap

The media will do it for you

Everyone will forget about that NABJ appearance

Every journalist in that room is Audie Murphy

Who’s black?

Not in defense of Thomas Eagleton (soz)

The polls changed so let’s attack Nate Silver for noticing

Every one in politics is “weird”

The child will never fly coach again

The honorable resistors

JD Vance’s amazingly stupid economic ideas, which he cannot actually believe

The end of the Venezuelan dictatorship

Killing bad guys in Tehran and Beirut

Resistance vs. escalation

Anything happen since we left?

31/07/2024

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Steve Albini on Music, Meaning, and the Cosmos (Special Dispatch)

An unreleased 2023 interview with a legendary producer and musician, the late Steve Albini.

In April 2023, while producing a documentary series for The John Templeton Foundation (JTF), I had the distinct pleasure of interviewing legendary punk/rock musician and producer audio engineer Steve Albini. Portions of that interview appear in the sixth installment of the doc series (which is phenomenal, and you should watch every episode immediately), but most of our conversation has remained unreleased—until now.

On May 7th, 2024, Steve passed away at 61 after an illustrious and influential life and career. With special thanks to JTF (and in honor of Steve Albini Day), we’re pleased to publish the full audio of that interview here.

Steve engineered audio for artists like Nirvana, Bush, and the Pixies, helping each bring some of their most authentic and celebrated works to grateful fans the world over. Steve’s dedication to capturing the natural essence of a band's performance without excessive studio manipulation has left a lasting legacy in the music industry.

In this wide-ranging exchange, Albini shared insights into his philosophy on music production and anecdotes from his time working with some of the biggest names in rock. And given the uniquely ontological focus of our documentary, Steve also served up some fascinating meditations on:

communicating with aliens

being a ‘vector of history’

the modern music scene

and the mathematics of music

Albini's approach to his work wasn’t just technical but deeply philosophical. He believed that the role of a producer was to serve the artist's vision rather than impose their own. That ethos resonated throughout our discussion, a testament to his principled commitment to artistic integrity. His passing is a significant loss, but his legacy will undoubtedly continue to inspire future musicians and producers.

- Kmele

NOTE: This release includes a brief cameo from my friend and sometimes collaborator Jason Mojica — the indispensable producer/director of Dispatches from The Well.

Interview Recorded: April 28th, 2023
Published: July 27th, 2024

An unreleased 2023 interview with a legendary producer and musician, the late Steve Albini

31/07/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #219 - Pronunciation Racism and the Triumph of Mentally Ill

HOF weekend

19/07/2024

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Episode #437 - Alive from the RNC!

Moynihan calls in from GOP Ground Zero in Milwaukee. Kmele threatens to dish about Silicon Valley support for Donald Trump. Welch only slurs as much as Reince Preibus. Topics include J.D. Vance’s political philosophy, Joe Biden’s deteriorating public appearances, and—as ever—Kmele’s mangled naughty bits. Who the hell knows when the Adderall shortage will kick in, but we’re squeezing the last drops out of Moynihan’s productivity before the vape-seizures finally do him in. Let’s gooooo!!!!

Moynihan calls in from GOP Ground Zero in Milwaukee. Kmele threatens to dish about Silicon Valley support for Donald Trump. Welch only slurs as much as Reince Preibus. Topics include J.D. Vance’s political philosophy, Joe Biden’s deteriorating public appearances, and—as ever—Kmele’s mangle...

19/07/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #218 - Second Sunday Rebroadcast (Assassination Edition)

A rebroadcast of our increasingly popular Second Sunday edition, during which you, the listener, get to interact with the Fifth, berate them, flatter them, hit on them, and endlessly praise their wisdom and prescience. And thanks to all of you who showed up this week…so many, in fact, that we were...

19/07/2024

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Episode #436 - Forget It. Joe Biden Has Been Cured Of Being Super Old

The lads make it through Biden’s presser, watch a bit of state television after, listen to the Mike Tyson’s Punch Out soundtrack, and limbo below the lowest bar in the history of low bars.

The lads make it through Biden’s presser, watch a bit of state television after, listen to the Mike Tyson’s Punch Out soundtrack, and limbo below the lowest bar in the history of low bars.

19/07/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #217 - ☑ The Flag of the Fifth ☑

Wizards of Transnistria Checking the box A festival of freedom? More old stuff France and the media Brain dead v. Hi**er It didn’t end in 2008, but it proved a lot What a dictator is… and isn’t An accent free pass The best video ever: F**k you bloody

09/07/2024

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Episode #462 - SCOTUS Interruptus (with Damon Root)

The US Supreme Court wraps its term, and Damon Root returns to the podcast for a mostly coherent retrospective on various things SCOTUS-related.

It’s an Independence Day Miracle (if a few days delinquent). As another US Supreme Court term draws to a close, we tap in with our favorite SCOTUS obsessive, Damon Root (currently Freethink/Big Think, previous Reason, and author of books you really should buy).

We discuss: Presidential absolute immunity, Chevron deference, the pitiful state of SCOTUS journalism, and the obviously-super-serious effort in the US Congress to impeach/pack/scorn the highest court in the land on account of its *various crimes against democracy* (or something like that).

ALSO: Frederick Douglass's on Independence Day… and Juneteenth?!

The US Supreme Court wraps its term, and Damon Root returns to the podcast for a mostly coherent retrospective on various things SCOTUS-related.

06/07/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #216 - Unbearable and Untenable

Miracles of indigenous science Why is Matt talking about Kevin Costner so much? Aaron Sorkin solves January 6th Norm on Bob Uecker Matt revisits his…bad night The Biden sitch James Carville on masculinity and “communities of color” How do you guys manage to watch this crap?

06/07/2024

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Members Only 🔓 UNLOCKED 🔓 #215 - The Hindenburg Debate, The Hindenburg Fifth Recording, and The View From Atlanta (with Alex Thompson)

Oh dear. Yeah, that debate. Obviously. One would have to be a very successful, very delusional Substacker to think otherwise. But the night was about to get much, much worse. Moynihan, Welch, and Friend of the Fifth (former Rep.) Peter Meijer decided to record a quick reaction pod at 1am, after a collective 542 drinks. That…didn’t work. And that’s not what you are about to hear, although some devious editor appears to have dropped random clips of one particular Fifth host (Matt) into this episode, purely to bully him and amuse our bullying listeners. So as Welch recovered today, Kmele and Moynihan (a champion drinker, at this point immune to hangovers) grabbed star Axios reporter Alex Thompson, just back from the spin room in Atlanta, to try to make sense of it all.

Note: This was supposed to be a subscriber-only episode, but between the clips of Matt doing his Foster Brooks impression and Alex being insightful and entertaining, we opened it up to all. You’re welcome. Now go subscribe so we can get Welch into a fancy Malibu rehab.

Oh dear. Yeah, that debate. Obviously. One would have to be a very successful, very delusional Substacker to think otherwise. But the night was about to get much, much worse. Moynihan, Welch, and Friend of the Fifth (former Rep.) Peter Meijer decided to record a quick reaction pod at 1am, after a co...

06/07/2024

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Episode #461 - Trump/Biden II, Electric Boogaloo

So our podcasting platform just launched an AI feature that scans your recording and automatically generates “show notes.” We gave it it try. These are the results, with a few important corrections.

“The conversation begins with some light banter and discussion about rap music. [Human ed note: This was before we started, so it isn’t included in the episode, but it did feature Kmele speculating about John Lennon shooting Bob Dylan]. They then transition to talking about the upcoming presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. They discuss the format of the debate and their expectations for how each candidate will perform. They also touch on the COVID-19 pandemic and the conflicting information about masks and vaccines. The conversation ends with a humorous discussion about Matt Welch being a 'MAGA' supporter. [Human ed note: Humorous??] The conversation then shifts to the recent primary race between Jamaal Bowman and Eliot Engel, [sic] with a focus on the role of AIPAC and the effectiveness of negative ads. The hosts also criticize the performance and tactics of certain politicians in the 'squad'. Finally, they mention the fire alarm incident and the overall lack of support for Bowman in his district. [Human ed note: Here, the AI produced 800 words about our Julian Assange conversation]. The hosts end the conversation with some lighthearted banter about upcoming episodes. [Human ed note: Incorrect. We talked about Crocodile Dundee being a cokehead who created the crack epidemic]

So our podcasting platform just launched an AI feature that scans your recording and automatically generates “show notes.” We gave it it try. These are the results, with a few important corrections. “The conversation begins with some light banter and discussion about rap music.

06/07/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #214 - Sunday *Bloody* Sunday

Every second Sunday of the month, the lads fire up Zoom and do a (mostly) Q&A show for subscribers only. It’s very fun, often a bit messy and chaotic, and full of listeners expressing love, disbelief, dismay, and often delivering Strom Thurmond- like filibusters. So for you subscribers who couldn....

06/07/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #213 - I Don't Know About Y'all...

Imagine if Bill Cosby was an Islamophobic dog Cringefest in the Bronx Jamal and AOC Sleeve rolled up, stool in hand, unemployment on the horizon AIPAC is everywhere! Violent psycho extremists for peace The war won’t end until Jake Tapper’s kids are properly harassed

06/07/2024

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Episode #460 - The Return of Ol' Icy Balls

After a very brief hiatus—apologies, but all is explained in the first five minutes of this episode—the lads are back. And there will be a flood of new content in the coming days, to make up for our testicular tardiness (also explained in the first five minutes of this episode). Also note: this episode was plagued by technical difficulties, but we hope, through the magic of editing, that you won’t notice.

The procedure

The politicization of late night continues apace

This is our territory

Alt weeklies that weren’t alt

Trump’s long “All In” interview

Could the debate move voters?

Don’t pretend to be working class

Louisiana and the Ten Commandments

Actually, covet your neighbors wife

Tell us about your culture: “Diet Coke and Starbucks and Dunkin’s”

Who did MM see at dinner?

Happy Juneteenth?

After a very brief hiatus—apologies, but all is explained in the first five minutes of this episode—the lads are back. And there will be a flood of new content in the coming days, to make up for our testicular tardiness (also explained in the first five minutes of this episode). Also note: this ...

17/06/2024

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Episode #459 - The Horns of Hamas / Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (w/ Olivia Reingold)

Getting Drudged

Getting the spray

This new color isn’t working

Olivia amongst the Hamasniks in Union Square

Tearing up notebooks, airhorns in the ear…stuck in the middle of a protest

Hey hey ho ho sh*tty chants have got to go

Did any journalists reach out?

What if this was a Trump rally?

Legally blonde

You’ll be in a Trump camp

“Racial conspiracy theories”

I mean, you gotta understand where they’re coming from…

Getting Drudged Getting the spray This new color isn’t working Olivia amongst the Hamasniks in Union Square Tearing up notebooks, airhorns in the ear…stuck in the middle of a protest Hey hey ho ho sh*tty chants have got to go Did any journalists reach out?

17/06/2024

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Episode #458 - Free Everyone! Support No One!

Some unpopular opinions

Raise your hand if you’ve ever lied to the government

Fetterman and Real Time

Are you *addicted* to Ma*****na???

Who are the victims here?

Excessive sentencing is bad, even for bad people

Victims: Alex Jones? Hunter Biden? DJT???

Biden is totally fine and thinking otherwise is the end of democracy

Joe Scarborough is the worst

Let’s all pretend that everything is normal, ok?

Scarborough casually defames two journalists

Washington Post loses a trillion dollars, hires more whites

The WNBA reality show

I knew James Baldwin. Baldwin was a friend of mine. And you, Ibram, are no James Baldwin

Some unpopular opinions Raise your hand if you’ve ever lied to the government Fetterman and Real Time Are you *addicted* to Ma*****na??? Who are the victims here? Excessive sentencing is bad, even for bad people Victims: Alex Jones? Hunter Biden? DJT???

17/06/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #212 - Whatever It Is, I’m Against It (Spaceships and Bo***es)

No matter what it is or who commenced it… MAGA Hawaii Inflatable gallows The eye of the horrible Stormy It’s a bird! It’s a Qassam! No…it’s the Blonde Zionist! Dronez: The Hunt for El Chigon Listener email: Working class kid makes good. Will his kids go soft?

17/06/2024

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Episode #457 - The Witch Trials of Alvin Bragg, The End of Vice, The Beginning of Reflector (with Matt Boll & Andy Mills)

A double-album worth of great content this week. Start off with Moynihan talking to Matt and Kmele about his Free Press piece charting the collapse of Vice and him forthcoming piece charting the collapse of the Black Panther Party. Then the lads chat about the weirdness of the New York Trump trial, Israel in Rafah, and lots more. And stick around for Kmele’s conversation with the Lennon-McCartney, the Lieber and Stoller of podcasts, Matt Boll and Andy Mills, the duo who brought you The Witch Trials of JK Rowling, among other modern audio classics. They’re back with a new series called Reflector, a “show about the strange experience of being human.” We don’t know *exactly* what that means, but we absolutely guarantee that it will be a work of unparalleled brilliance.

A double-album worth of great content this week. Start off with Moynihan talking to Matt and Kmele about his Free Press piece charting the collapse of Vice and him forthcoming piece charting the collapse of the Black Panther Party. Then the lads chat about the weirdness of the New York Trump trial,....

17/06/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #211 - The Ann Landers Edition

The LP snoozer Remembering that lady who said that gross thing about kids You will never play in the NBA, baby Zone of Interest redux, briefly The Ann Landers portion begins Should I stop being an academic and become a cop who lurks on dating apps? The anti-Semitic date

17/06/2024

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Episode #456 - Hoops, Sneks, and Very Bad Doctors (with Aaron Sibarium)

The most serious race controversy of 2024: that lady basketball player

“I mean, I've been a huge fan of Blackpink for years and I've never heard a single one of their songs.:

Snek and the Supreme Court

Everyone's wife is Ginny Thoma

The defense rests

Local news and crappy journalists

In defense of…Marilyn Mosby?

Israel and the ICC

Enter Sibarium: the UCLA Medical School controversy

The most serious race controversy of 2024: that lady basketball player “I mean, I've been a huge fan of Blackpink for years and I've never heard a single one of their songs.: Snek and the Supreme Court Everyone's wife is Ginny Thoma The defense rests

20/05/2024

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Episode #455 - Debate Me, Joe

At a party

At Fenway

Losers (which is apparently already a show)

Jake, Dana, Donald, and Joe

Cui bono?

How Joe wins

How Donald wins

The NY trial continues…

Mitt Romney would pardon DT

“Attacked our legal system”

The new Noem

Post-Donald, where does the party go?

How goes it in Ukraine?

At a party At Fenway Losers (which is apparently already a show) Jake, Dana, Donald, and Joe Cui bono? How Joe wins How Donald wins The NY trial continues… Mitt Romney would pardon DT “Attacked our legal system” The new Noem Post-Donald, where does the party go?

20/05/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #210 - Odds, Bobs, Feminist Bank Tellers, and the Records That Changed Us

Italian bootlegs Warm Fanta Drinking on your European vacation The Comfort of Strangers Pre-internet travel Jake Siegel: a moderate dissent…and Fifth reaction Probability and the feminist bank teller What happens when people call you bad names in public

20/05/2024

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Episode #454 - A Conspiracy So Vast (with Jacob Siegel)

So many of you have written us demanding the return of Jacob Siegel that when word got to us that he was back in New York, we hunted him down and demanded that he submit to a *third* appearance on The Fifth. We discovered that Comrade Siegel, a gravelly voiced veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq and senior writer at Tablet, is hard at work on a book, an expansion of his already expansive essay “A Guide to Understanding the Hoax of the Century.” So we sat back in our chairs, asked a few questions, and basically handed the mic to Jake for an extended peroration on the Disinformation Industrial Complex, Trump’s foreign policy, why we should end American aid to Israel, and whether or not his unified theory of censorship counts as a “conspiracy theory.”

We assume this one will provoke lots of listener mail. So agree or disagree, send it over and perhaps we’ll do a special “Responding to Jake” episode over at Substack.

So many of you have written us demanding the return of Jacob Siegel that when word got to us that he was back in New York, we hunted him down and demanded that he submit to a *third* appearance on The Fifth. We discovered that Comrade Siegel, a gravelly voiced veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq and sen...

20/05/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #209 - Rotten (and Racist) in Denmark

Sh**un erasure Revolutionary accents A debate on Israel and a subsequent anti-Moynihan calumny Alas, anti-Semitism is common in certain parts of the world Pointing this out seems pretty obvious The WAV file My melanated baby Teaching kids versus raising kids

03/05/2024

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Episode #453 - No Step on Snek

Children of the revolution

No journalists allowed!

The Italian Gadsden flag

Oh no, Matt Welch…no, no, no

In defense of …Al Sharpton?

Dead soul singers

The great Baby Huey

Forgiving student debt is insane

College is dumb but it makes economic sense…for now

The New York Times and NPR

Jihad rehab

Twitter welcomes another sexless fascist

Children of the revolution No journalists allowed! The Italian Gadsden flag Oh no, Matt Welch…no, no, no In defense of …Al Sharpton? Dead soul singers The great Baby Huey Forgiving student debt is insane College is dumb but it makes economic sense…for now

03/05/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #208 - Bananas Foster

The Banana genocide Professor, professor…let’s stick to the facts A conspiracy documentary full of cranks and losers 60 journalism professors find a story they cannot countenance Listeners on ADHD and Adderall RFK in CA Nodding along with Lemon How to talk to an Auschwitz survivor

03/05/2024

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Episode #452 - The Strawberry Statement 2024 / The Eternal Adderall Shortage (with C.J. Ciaramella)

A two-for-one offering from The Fifth: first, the lads discuss the ongoing student stupidities, free speech and protest, Kmele at TED, and how your views are probably pretty normal (ed. note: considering the full-court coverage of the Columbia intifada, it’s sort of surprising that no one is referencing this terrible 1970 film, written by Ad-Roc’s dad). And then, some bonus content with Reason’s C.J. Ciaramella, who joins to discuss the government war on Adderall, his own ADHD diagnosis, and why it took him two months to get his prescription filled.

A two-for-one offering from The Fifth: first, the lads discuss the ongoing student stupidities, free speech and protest, Kmele at TED, and how your views are probably pretty normal (ed. note: considering the full-court coverage of the Columbia intifada, it’s sort of surprising that no one is refer...

03/05/2024

A new Fifth Column Members-Only episode is out.

Members Only #207 - Columbia Breakdown: Next Stop Baader Meinhof?

Swedish breakdown Columbia breakdown The continued rise of American extremism The politics of “genocide” The politics of propaganda Chicago expectations A newborn in the Fifdom Our Batya episode Trusting anti-trust? The NPR excel spreadsheet Books on McCarthy

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Episode 193 - Kmele Foster talks about slavery.

Episode 189 - Kmele Foster talks about criminal justice reform

Episode 173 - Kmele Foster talks about the US healthcare system

Special Dispatch # 8 - Kmele says what he wants to do, but he just can't do it.

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Episode 193 - Kmele Foster talks about slavery.

Episode 189 - Kmele Foster talks about criminal justice reform

Episode 173 - Kmele Foster talks about the US healthcare system

Special Dispatch # 8 - Kmele says what he wants to do, but he just can't do it.

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