07/07/2023
Green Light
Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.
It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being. I finally know the difference between pleasing and loving, obeying and respecting. It has taken me so many years to be okay with being different, and with being this alive, this intense. I want to live the rest of my life, however long or short, with as much sweetness as I can decently manage, loving all the people I love, and doing as much as I can of the work I still have to do. The only whole heart is a broken one because it lets the light in. I don't have time, energy, or interest in hating the haters; I'm too busy loving the lovers.
What does one person give to another? He gives of himself, of the most precious he has, he gives of his life. This does not necessarily mean that he sacrifices his life for the other but that he gives him of that which is alive in him; he gives him of his joy, of his interest, of his understanding, of his knowledge, of his humor, of his sadness of all expressions and manifestations of that which is alive in him. In thus giving of his life, he enriches the other person, he enhances the other's sense of aliveness by enhancing his own sense of aliveness. He does not give in order to receive; giving is in itself exquisite joy. But in giving he cannot help bringing something to life in the other person, and this which is brought to life reflects back to him. The bravest are the most tender; the loving are the daring.
Love can only be found through the act of loving. I think that if we look for love courageously, it reveals itself, and we wind up attracting even more love. If one person really wants us, everyone does. But if we’re alone, we become even more alone. Life is strange. Sensitive people either love deeply or they regret deeply. There really is no middle ground because they live in passionate extremes. Thus is the nature of love: that you must use it. A love unused is not love. If it is something that sits on the shelf that you don't know what to do with, it is not true to the nature of love. Use love. There's a difference between living and just surviving. Do something you love, and find someone to love who loves that you love what you do. It is really that simple. And that hard. Rule with the heart of a servant. Serve with the heart of a king.
We dance to seduce ourselves. To fall in love with ourselves. When we dance with another, we manifest the very thing we love about ourselves so that they may see it and love us too. Like a child who saves their favorite food on the plate for last, I try to save all thoughts of you for the end of the day so I can dream with the taste of you on my tongue. Loving someone can be hard at times. You risk a lot when you love your heart and soul, at the least. Love is the most important and most rewarding investment you can make in another person. I'm not here to grant you the extraordinary love you never had for yourself. I'm here, on my own accord, to love you. So that when you stare into my mirror eyes, you may see how extraordinary you are. Seduce yourself first. A friend is not the shadow that mimics you, but the one who casts all shadows away from you.
Life sometimes reminds us that it is sometimes heartless by giving something or someone we really need to someone who does not need or even want them or it. You cannot be truthful if you are not courageous. You cannot be loving if you are not courageous. You cannot be trusting if you are not courageous. You cannot inquire into reality if you are not courageous. Hence courage comes first and everything else follows. Once your soul is awakened, you never return to the sleepwalking state of mind. Some people become complacent in life. They are just going through the motions and not aware of truth. Seek the knowledge, wisdom, and the understandings that vivify your existence. A relationship that is truly genuine does not keep changing its colors. Real gold never rusts. If a relationship is really solid and golden, it will be unbreakable. Not even Time can destroy its shine. Don't wait for other people to be loving, giving, compassionate, grateful, forgiving, generous, or friendly lead the way.
To my abusers, I forgive you.