Haikus of the news. Just need 5, 7 and 5. We laugh, else we cry. News in haiku form.
Chinese balloon DOWN!
Peashooter industrial
complex for the win!
WASHINGTON (AP) — The U.S. military on Saturday shot down a suspected Chinese spy balloon off the Carolina coast after it traversed sensitive military sites across North America. China insisted the flyover was an accident involving a civilian aircraft and threatened repercussions.
:
Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost.
Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost.
Kevin McCarthy fell short once more in the 12th vote to be the next House speaker, but GOP lawmakers were citing progress on a deal to get him a majority vote.
Best Worst New Sitcom!
It's " and "!
Let's pray it's cancelled.
chaos.
Like a barrel of Darwin-
denying monkeys.
Democrat Hakeem Jeffries actually secured more votes for speaker than Kevin McCarthy did on the first ballot.
claims "Jew-ish"
Then how 'bout circumcision
for that part, boychik?
Long Island Rep.-elect George Santos came clean to The Post on Monday, admitting that he lied on the campaign trail about his education and work experience.
Please tell
he could use lying lessons.
's available.
Several media reports have called key aspects of his biography into question, and Santos has yet to address any of the allegations directly.
Made for each other.
lost. knew it.
They should get a room.
https://www.npr.org/2022/12/22/1144926308/fox-news-sean-hannity-dominion-lawsuit-trump
is here!
After address to Congress,
will join Avengers.
Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky is paying a dramatic visit to the US on Wednesday, using his first trip outside his homeland since it was invaded 300 days ago to rally his top international partner behind sustained military and economic assistance.
forecast:
Tanning cream, Vi**ra are
not deductible.
A Democratic-led House panel voted Tuesday to release parts of former President Trump's tax returns.
IT'S MAYHEM!
versus !!
Dumb versus dumber!!!
Lauren Boebert referred back to Marjorie Taylor Greene's infamous "space lasers" post in an interview. Greene responded scathingly on Twitter.
Bad Monday for
! SAD!
smiles.
The House select committee investigating the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the U.S. Capitol unveiled criminal referrals on Monday targeting former President Trump, recommending that the Department of Jus…
gets cheer-up calls.
Awwww. But how will that work from
his cell at Rikers?
Donald Trump's aides channel praise to make him feel good, but few can push back against his worst decisions, The Washington Post said.
This fellow
has some skill. Next stop: Lakers!
He'd be a youngster.
Lionel Messi's wait for World Cup glory is finally over after Argentina beat France in a dramatic penalty shootout on Sunday.
Defense bill passes.
Biggest line item surprise:
Cruise in "Top Gun 3"
The U.S. Senate passed legislation on Thursday authorizing a record $858 billion in annual defense spending, $45 billion more than proposed by President Joe Biden, and rescinding the military's COVID vaccine mandate.
cards have sold out!
That many suckers? Or just
Laundering rubles?
Trump-themed digital trading cards netted $4.5 million and are now being resold for 10 times their initial price.
!
Campaign manager? Veep choice?
Nope. Not even close.
Trump teased a "MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT" on Truth Social on Wednesday, ultimately revealing a series of NFT digital trading cards with his likeness.
comes for the .
Wonder if his hate applies
to his grandchildren?
In his Truth Social post, Donald Trump declared that his popularity in Israel was such that he could “easily” win elected office himself in the country.
After Twitter ban,
was so depressed.
SAD! SAD! SAD! (Tee-hee.)
Trump was "depressed" in 2021 after being banned from social media, "Unprecedented" filmmaker Alex Holder said Wednesday
She lost? You betcha!
Wasilla Walmart need help?
Ooops. Not qualified.
Democrat Mary Peltola won the special election to fill Alaska's House seat for the remainder of 2022, according to unofficial results released by the Alaska Division of Elections, thwarting former Gov. Sarah Palin's bid at a political comeback -- at least for a few months.
Sad drunken mole man.
Almost feed badly for him.
But then again, no.
Rudy Giuliani's ex-wife in a forthcoming book says he and Trump are "protective" of each other: "We moved into Mar-a-Lago and Donald kept our secret."
Didn't expect this:
"Get me Dennis Rodman, stat!"
Godspeed. Bring her back.
“I got permission to go to Russia to help that girl,” NBA star Dennis Rodman told NBC News.
Tesla chip implant.
inside of you.
Ew. Ew ew ew EW!
A Tesla driver can now unlock his car without using his smartphone. Thanks to a chip implanted in his hand, he will never lose his keys again.
Pilots fell asleep.
Repeat: PILOTS FELL ASLEEP!
Air Melatonin?!
The airline, the biggest in Africa, said the involved crew was “removed from operation” pending an investigation.
Yee-haw! Lookee here!
Dubya's edumacatin'!
Start a war? A-plus!
President George W. Bush teaches communication, diplomacy, and decision-making. Explore leadership skills and public service with the White House series.
Best driver.
Rescues folks, gets to airport.
Give that man six stars!
Uber driver Fritz Sam pulled over to help es**rt two people out of a burning building in Brooklyn, New York. His passenger still made it to her flight on time.
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