My Diary Journey30

29/05/2024

"If my energy doesn't wake you up,
I'm not for you.
If my mind doesn't inspire you,
don't force the connection.
If my thought doesn't make you think deeper,
it's no point in keeping me in mind.
If my passion doesn't move you,
then you better change your direction.
If my presence doesn't help you evolve,
my absence certainly will.
If my love doesn't open your heart permanently, another love will.

Go and find what vibrates your being,
don't even stop to look behind you.
One of the greatest acts of love is letting go.
The vibration doesn't lie.
Trust your process. "

02/02/2024

🦋🦋🌺🌺

01/02/2024

19/01/2024

18/05/2023

She’s the woman that everyone depends on- always there for the people she loves, somehow able to do anything and fix everything.
Her spirit is beautiful and her passion is fiery- she finds a way to get everything done with a smile on her face and a spring in her step.
Those around her admire her for the unstoppable attitude she exudes in almost anything she does and wonders how she manages to be as strong and resilient as she is.
What they don’t know about this proud woman is the hard road she’s taken to reach where she is today. The mountains she’s been forced to climb and the obstacles she’s overcome have forged her ironclad strength..
But it wasn’t as easy as many might think.
She’s been knocked down and broken countless times, faced with days of heartache and times of trouble.
But she always made a choice- well, the struggle made her choice for her.
She never stayed down, she never complained or lamented her misfortunes..
Instead, the strong woman the world marvels at … every time, she picked herself up, dusted herself off and got back up and kept fighting.
With every failure, she grew smarter.
Through each battle, she became stronger.
After each success, she became prouder…
Of the person she was becoming , the challenges she’d overcome and the power of her dreams she was realizing.
She faced the same things everyone is confronted with- rejection, pain, loss and defeat.
She chose to never be defined by her struggle and to continue to rise against the storms of life with a zealous passion that could not be contained.
She would never be “just another woman,” for this confidently fierce warrior battled and fought for a better life, happiness and joy in her heart.
While many focused on surviving, she wanted more.
She needed more than just getting by.
So, as this scrappy woman stood before the mirror today, a day like many others,
The gleam in her eye and fire in her heart were unmistakable.
She didn’t know how she’d get it all done, but she always did.
She dug deep and every day, rose again..
Because she had learned what she had to be:
More than a woman, a warrior or a fighter-
She had to be unstoppable.
And one more thing..
This woman?
She is me.

11/05/2023

For the longest time, there were always those days when I thought I wanted to just disappear.
Those times when I felt like I was getting pulled under by the storms of life..
I just felt almost invisible and alone in the struggles I faced.
It took everything I had not to just cry and shrink into a ball in the corner.
That’s when I realized that I never really wanted to disappear at all..
Just the opposite.
The silence of the nights and the harshness of some days made me yearn to feel not alone for once..
For someone to come along and just ..
See me.
To be appreciated for who I was, appreciated for everything I wanted to be and just loved.
Isn’t that what anyone really wants?
Through the good times and the bad, the storms and the sunshine..
To be loved, seen and to know that we aren’t alone.
That’s where I was as I lie in bed, a million thoughts and feelings flashing through my head.
I don’t know if tomorrow will bring that to me, so all I can do is hope…
For more sunshine, happier times and people that care about me.
So, yeah, I don’t want to disappear anymore.
I just want to be found, seen and loved…
For the person that I am.
It’ll happen, I know.
And when it does, the nights will seem less cold, the storms less turbulent and the light more bright.
That’ll be a start..
And for now, that’s more than enough.
I’ll get there when I’m meant to.
One day, one challenge and one moment at a time.
I’ll be fine..I always am.

28/04/2023

I never chose this path in my life..
It chose me.
I didn’t set out to be strong, I just wanted to be happy..
I ended up getting strong in the process.
The twists and the turns, the failures and falls, they all tried to bring me down.
I smiled as life tried to consume me in the fire of struggle..for it knew my warrior heart that it was forging in the flames.
I wasn’t a survivor, I was a fighter.
I didn’t just walk through the fire, I became it.
Truthfully, I only had two choices- rise up and rise above or plummet to rock bottom.
Strong women don’t know how to quit, it’s not in my genes.
I may have started this life bright eyed and innocent, but I’ve emerged a fiery Phoenix, able to overcome anything.
People will compliment my courageous and never-say- die attitude, because they don’t know the price I’ve paid to become the person I am.
The hard nights crying tears, wondering why life was so hard, the challenging days when everything went wrong..they’ll never know my journey to be stronger, wiser and better..
And they don’t have to.
I did everything for myself, because I had dreams to chase and goals to attain- and I knew no one could get me there but me.
I’ve picked myself up countless times, had my heart broken too often, but I always found my way..
Eventually, I even found myself and self love along the way.
That thing called love?
I have plenty of it for myself and my people- I’m fine with my life staying that way if that’s how it ends up.
I built high walls around my heart after all the bad choices that led to heartbreak, so I’m in no hurry to find true love.
If love does come calling, great, but it will have to be on my terms.
I’ll never settle, sacrifice or compromise myself or my principles.
To the right one, I won’t have to explain who I am..they’ll just know.
So, until that person shows up, I’m going to keep flying high and loving my life..
I’ve paid dearly to become who I am, so I’m living every day to its fullest and chasing the things that fill my soul.
Maybe I’m not perfect, but I’m not trying to be..I’ll leave that for all the fake people following ridiculous trends to be just like everyone else.
I’m perfectly imperfect in my own beautiful unique way.
And you know what?
I’d rather be happy than perfect.
So that’s just what I’ll be.
My way, my style, my choices..
That’s what strong women do..
And that’s what I’ll always be.
Strong, proud and unstoppable.

23/04/2023

At first glance, she appears much the same as anyone else, pleasant and nice..
But when she lets you step past what she shows the world, that’s when you realize that she is anything but ordinary.
While her peaceful smile beguiles most everyone, those that don’t see past the charming facade that she cleverly projects that protects her deepest secrets.. they will never know just how magnificent she is and can be..
She’s not for the faint of heart nor weak of spirit, so she’s careful who she lets in to see her truths.
Her love, trust and affection aren’t easily gained, for she’s been burned by granting unworthy people access to parts of her they never deserved to know.
She’s promised herself to never make that mistake again.
Her love and devotion are like the fiercest hurricane- and she makes no apologies for the fire that rages in her heart..
It makes her impossible to diminish, ignore or defeat..like a blazing wildfire, she always burns brightest for the people and things she cares about.
She pours every bit of herself into the passions that fulfill her and has never stopped chasing her dreams.
Most don’t really understand her or how her mind works, but they don’t have to..
She’s unabashedly proud of the woman she’s worked hard to become, and she’s the first to vocalize her needs, desires and boundaries.
To know her is to witness the strongest of women and softest of hearts..
She’s the brave soul that you never forget once she lets you in..
She makes sure of it.
So, when she smiles devilishly at you with that impish twinkle in her eye, take heed of that moment..
It’s not often you witness a wild and beautiful creature making herself known, but it’s in those moments that she’s free.
Fierce and defiant, she’s got a warrior’s heart led by a lover’s soul.
She fights when she must.
She loves when she can,
Most of all, she lives every day to the fullest..
Strong, happy and free.

15/04/2023

All my life, I’ve been told who I was supposed to be, what I should be doing and all the stuff the world thought I should change.
And for a while, I tried it their way.
It led me down the wrong roads, tore me down and broke my heart countless times over.
With the weight of my life buckling me under, I had to stop doing all the things that broke me..
And start becoming the person I was meant to be.
So that’s what I did.
I dug deep, I fought back and started rising from the ashes.
Everyone may have thought I was broken, but I wasn’t..
I was healing.
Nothing happens overnight, and my journey back to being whole is a process.
But it’s one that is long overdue.
No more excuses, staying down and letting life get the best of me.
No, it’s my time now..
To rise above.
To turn my setbacks into a comeback.
To finally become who I knew I could be.
I’m done listening to the critics and everyone who thought they knew what was best for me.
Only I know what I need and deserve,
So that’s what I’m fighting for.
I’m standing up strong, proud and resilient.
This is my life and I’m taking charge of it.
I’ve got greatness coursing in my veins, and it’s time I showed the world what I’m truly capable of.
And I know when I start flying high with the wings I’ve forged from the fires of failure,
They won’t know what to make of me..
And they don’t have to.
My life, my way.
And this time, I’m aiming for the stars.
Watch me go.

13/04/2023

When I tell you I got knocked down to rock bottom, believe it.
In fact, I was knocked down, dragged and kicked by life in the process.
The difference was that I didn’t stay down.
I didn’t quit and I never started to feel sorry for myself.
I could wallowed and languished at the lowest point in my life..
But that’s not who I am or will ever be.
I started clawing my way back through all the pain, hard times and misery that had drowned me.
I began healing, focusing and rebuilding.
Yeah, it took me a while to piece myself back together from the shattered soul I was..
But piece by piece, day by day, I managed to put it all back- and better than before.
I won’t tell you it was easy- it hurt like hell.
But nothing worth having ever comes easy, and my path back made me pay the price to become what I wanted.
I’m stronger but softer.
I’m wiser but not afraid to take risks..
After all, isn’t that what life and love really are?
I had to find the courage to put myself out there to live my life and risk a broken heart to find love.
Every day in every way, I keep plunging headfirst into the madness, some would say.
Truth is, I don’t know any other way to love and live.
I’m an “all in” kind of person, full of passion and intensity, driven to succeed and overcome anything.
The road to where I want to be will take time, patience and fortitude..
But I can handle that.
I’ve seen the worst of life, now it’s time for me to rise to the best.
I’m not my failures, I am the culmination of everything I’ve learned, experienced and felt along the way.
Some beautiful, some painful, some absolutely horrific.
And I’m still standing, strong and proud.
Life, you gave it your best shot..
But all you did was show me that I’m able to survive anything.
I’m not broken, I’m beautiful in all the ways that matter-
And come what may, I’ll see you one day on the mountaintop…
Because I made it, finally.
And I’ll have done it my way.
Proud to be me.
A survivor, warrior and strong.