Hmong Men Talk (2024)

21/08/2024

I thought I had found the man of my dreams, but little did I know, he was a stranger in disguise. My ex-boyfriend's words were sweet music to my ears, his touch ignited a fire within me, and his eyes held a sincerity that I couldn't ignore. But as the months went by, the man I thought I knew began to reveal his true nature.

He told me he loved me more than any other woman in his life, but the truth was far from it. He had a secret life, one that he didn't want me to know about. When I found out, my world came crashing down. The man I trusted and loved with all my heart had been lying to me from the very beginning.

He told me he didn't cheat, but his deleted messages told a different story. He got into a car accident with another woman, and instead of being honest about it, he chose to hide the truth. His actions were a betrayal of my trust, and I couldn't help but wonder if there was anything else he was hiding from me.

The way he looked at me, dead in the eyes, with no emotion, haunted me. He denied cheating over and over, even when confronted with the evidence right in front of him. His disregard for my feelings was a slap in the face, and I knew that our relationship was beyond repair.

I broke up with him that very day, unable to trust him anymore. The way he lied and hid the truth from me was a betrayal of not only my trust but also my love. He had taken advantage of my naivety and kind heart, and I couldn't forgive him for it.

Days later, he confessed that he did cheat on me, but he didn't know why. His self-sabotage was a cruel reminder of how much he didn't care about our relationship. He wanted to get another chance with me, but I couldn't let him. The hurt and betrayal were too much to overcome.

I'm still in shock, trying to process it all. How could someone fight for us to stay together one day, and then cheat on me the very next day? It doesn't make any sense, and I can't comprehend why he would do such a thing. His betrayal of trust was the final nail in our relationship's coffin, and I had to walk away for my own sanity and happiness.

The pain and heartbreak still linger, but I know that moving on is the only way to heal. I can never trust him again, and his betrayal will always be a reminder of how dangerous it is to let someone into your life without proper scrutiny.

20/08/2024

I was once convinced that I had to go digging for the truth, no matter the cost. My partner's words seemed hollow, their actions suspicious. I felt like I was living a lie, and my only option was to uncover the truth by any means necessary.

But as I scrolled through their phone, my heart racing with every new discovery, I realized that my own suspicions were the greatest betrayal of all. I had no right to invade their privacy, to rummage through their personal effects like a thief in the night. And yet, I couldn't help but feel justified in my actions.

The truth was, I didn't find anything incriminating. No secret messages, no hidden photos, no suspicious transactions. Just a normal person living their life, just like me. But by then, it was too late. The damage was done. My trust had been broken, and our relationship would never be the same.

I thought about confessing my transgression, about owning up to my mistake and apologizing for my betrayal. But I knew that would only make things worse. It would be like admitting to a crime, except instead of a prison sentence, it would mean the end of our relationship.

So I kept my secret buried, just like the secrets I had uncovered. And though we stayed together, the trust between us was forever broken. Our love had been tarnished by my lack of integrity, and no amount of apologies or promises could ever fix what was lost that day.

I learned a hard lesson: that trust is fragile, and once it's broken, it can never be fully restored. But I also realized that sometimes, the greatest betrayals are those we inflict upon ourselves, when we choose to prioritize our own doubts and fears over the love and respect of another person.

18/08/2024

I don't know what to do. My boyfriend says he's not cheating on me, but I don't really believe him. Like, I know he's been acting distant and distracted lately, and it's making me feel super insecure. I need help to see if he's really cheating or not.

So, I was thinking about checking his messenger and Instagram accounts to see if he's talking to someone else. Like, I know this might sound crazy, but I just want to make sure that he's not hiding something from me. Has anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it?

I don't have Facebook myself, so I can't check his account directly. But I know he has Messenger and Instagram, so I figure those might be the best places to look for evidence of cheating. Ugh, I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

17/08/2024

Ugh, I don't know what to do. My boyfriend has been acting really off lately, and it's making me feel super insecure. He's been distant and distracted, and I can't help but wonder if he's still interested in me. Like, I get that he's going through a lot, but why can't he just be honest with me about how he's feeling?

I've tried talking to him about it, but he just brushes it off and tells me not to worry about it. It's like, I can't help how I feel, you know? And now I'm starting to wonder if he's being loyal to me. Like, can someone do a loyalty test on him or something? Ladies, I need your help here.

Has anyone else been through this? How did you deal with it? Did you find out that he was cheating or something? Ugh, I don't know what to do.

16/08/2024

Ugh, I don't even know where to start with this. My wife and I have been married for a few years now, and I thought we had a good thing going. But today, I found out that she was cheating on me. It's like, I don't understand how people can do this to each other. Makes me sick.

So, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and I saw that she had blocked me. Okay, no big deal, right? Wrong. Because then I noticed that some guy who was supposed to be removed from her account was back on there, hearting his pictures and him doing the same. Like, what the hell?!

I can't even begin to process how someone could do this to their partner. It's just not right. And now I feel like such a fool for trusting her in the first place. Ugh, I don't know what to do. Has anyone else gone through something like this? How did you deal with it?

15/08/2024

Hey guys, I need some help figuring out what's going on with my partner. Recently, I've noticed an Instagram notification pop up on his phone, even though he never uses the app. When I asked him about it, he said he had no idea why the notifications were coming up and claimed he never used Instagram before.

This has got me really suspicious, especially after going through a rough patch in our relationship where he was caught talking to female coworkers in a way that wasn't appropriate for a taken man. I gave him a second chance, but I still need to have access to his phone at all times to make sure he's not sneaking around behind my back.

My gut is telling me that he's using Instagram to hide his old habits and lies, so I'm considering not giving him another chance if I find anything incriminating on his phone. Has anyone else experienced something similar? Can you get messages like Messenger or WhatsApp on Instagram? If so, that's probably what he's using to hide his tracks.

13/08/2024

Hey guys, I'm feeling pretty confused and hurt right now, and I could really use some advice. My husband has been hiding his friendships with women, including going to their houses after work for coffee (which he hasn't told me about), and even receiving lifts from them. But when I ask him about it, he tells me something different. Is this cheating or am I overreacting?

I feel like he's being dishonest with me and not respecting our relationship. But at the same time, I don't want to accuse him of something without concrete evidence. It's like he's got this whole secret life going on, and I have no idea what's really going on.

I've tried talking to him about it, but he just brushes it off and tells me I'm being paranoid or overreacting. It's like he's got me convinced that there's nothing wrong, when in reality, something is definitely off.

Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated. Is this a sign of cheating, or am I just being too sensitive?

12/08/2024

I've been in a bit of a pickle, and I'm not sure how to handle it. My partner has been emotionally cheating on me, and it's been a real rollercoaster of emotions. On one hand, he's been treating me horribly, calling me hurtful names and being generally abusive. But on the other hand, he's also been talking to other women behind my back.

It's hard to know which is worse: the cheating itself or the emotional manipulation that comes with it. He won't let me cry or say curse words, and acts like a holy man to others while treating me badly. He calls me a "sorry a$$ b word" after I make his meals and put them in front of him, and rubs his feet and head and back. It's like he's got this whole act together, and I can't even trust my own instincts anymore.

I've tried talking to him about how I feel, but he just gaslights me and tells me I'm being paranoid or crazy. It's like he's got me convinced that I'm the problem, not him. And to make matters worse, I can't help but wonder if he's talking to someone else. He's been so horrible to me lately that it's hard to imagine anyone else could be worse.

Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated. Is cheating worse than this emotional manipulation, or are they equally damaging in different ways?

11/08/2024

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 18 months now, and lately, I've been feeling concerned about his level of support. Over the first year of our relationship, I always drove to his place to spend time with him, as it was more convenient for me since I live with my children. However, after a year, I stopped making the effort to visit him as often, as I realized that he wasn't putting in the same amount of effort as me.

Fast forward to this year, and he hasn't stayed at my house even once. He's given me various excuses, such as having other commitments or being too ill, but I can't help but feel like I'm a convenience to him rather than a priority. To make matters worse, I've recently been diagnosed with a serious health problem that causes me a lot of pain. I've told him and explained that I really need his support right now, but at the moment, he hasn't been there for me at all.

As a retired man with plenty of free time, I can't help but wonder if he's simply not prioritizing our relationship. Am I wasting my time on him? Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated.

10/08/2024

I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 18 months now, and I have to admit that I'm starting to feel a bit concerned about his commitment level. Over the first year of our relationship, I always drove to his place to spend time with him, as it was more convenient for me since I live with my children. However, after a year, I stopped making the effort to visit him as often, as I realized that he wasn't putting in the same amount of effort as me.

Fast forward to this year, and I haven't stayed at his place even once. He's given me various excuses, such as having other commitments or being too ill, but I can't help but feel like I'm a convenience to him rather than a priority. I recently received a serious health diagnosis, and I need his support more than ever. However, he hasn't been there for me at all, despite the fact that he's retired and has plenty of free time.

I love him, but I can't help but wonder if I'm wasting my time on him. Am I just a convenience to him? Any advice or insights would be greatly appreciated.

08/08/2024

I've been in a bit of a pickle, and I'm not sure how to handle it. My husband has been emotionally cheating on me, and it's been a real rollercoaster of emotions. On one hand, he's been treating me horribly, calling me hurtful names and being generally abusive. But on the other hand, he's also been talking to other women behind my back.

It's hard to know which is worse: the cheating itself, or the emotional manipulation that comes with it. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells around him, never knowing when he'll blow his top and lash out at me again. And yet, despite all of this, he still expects me to cook and clean for him, like nothing's wrong.

I've tried talking to him about how I feel, but he just gaslights me and tells me I'm being paranoid or crazy. It's like he's got this whole act together, and I can't even trust my own instincts anymore. I'm starting to wonder if he's even talking to anyone else, or if it's all just in my head.

Do you think there's a difference between an emotional cheater and someone who actually cheats? And how do I know if he's really cheating or just being a jerk? I'm so confused and don't know what to do anymore. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

06/08/2024

Ten years ago, my husband and I made a promise to each other: if either of us cheated, our marriage would end. We both had previous experiences with infidelity, and we were determined to make our relationship work differently.

Fast forward to the present, and I'm struggling to keep that promise intact. Over the past couple of years, there have been several instances where I've questioned my husband's loyalty. He's been engaging in online conversations with women that I consider inappropriate, removed me from his Facebook account as his wife, and started working multiple jobs under the guise of catching up on work.

As much as I want to believe that our marriage is still a priority for him, it's hard not to feel suspicious about these behaviors. When I brought up my concerns with him, he became upset and responded by going to the courthouse and obtaining a divorce packet.

This move shocked me, and I felt like he was either guilty of infidelity or didn't care about our relationship enough to try to resolve the issue. His response only added fuel to the fire: when I expressed how his actions made me feel, he told me that he hoped I "learned my lesson" about digging too deep.

I'm still trying to process this conversation and his subsequent behavior. He claims that he was upset because he thought I believed him to be unfaithful, and that if I felt that way, I would want to end the marriage. However, getting a divorce packet without discussing the issue with me or trying to resolve it feels like a clear indication that he's not interested in saving our relationship.

As you can imagine, this has left me feeling uncertain about how to proceed. Should I take his words at face value and trust that he's being honest? Or is there more to this situation than meets the eye?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this matter. Am I overreacting or should I be more concerned about my husband's behavior and actions?

05/08/2024

As I sit here, staring at the ceiling of my bedroom, I feel like I'm trapped in a never-ending nightmare. My fiancé and I have been together since we were 16 years old, and now, at 29, I'm questioning everything about our relationship.

The truth is, he's cheated on me multiple times – even while I was carrying his child. And it gets worse: I've discovered that he's been secretly saving money under different names, visiting strip clubs, and even using es**rt services. The worst part? He claims to have only texted these women, never physically hooking up with them.

But here's the thing: he swears on our son that he's never cheated in any way – except for maybe some innocent lap dances. His reasoning is that texting someone isn't really cheating at all... It's like he thinks it's no big deal to have multiple online relationships while I'm stuck at home, caring for our child.

I feel like I've lost control of my life and my finances. As a stay-at-home mom, I rely on him for everything – including money. And when I ask for help, he's always willing... but it feels like I'm asking permission to breathe. It's as if I'm not even in the driver's seat of our relationship.

That's why I'm reaching out to you – desperate for any kind of support or guidance. I know some of you might have experience with online background checks or truth-finding services. If anyone has a Truthfinder account or access to similar resources, I would be eternally grateful if you could help me investigate my fiancé's activities.

I feel like I'm the only one in this situation who is struggling to see the truth. I've always been faithful and dedicated to our relationship... but now, I'm not so sure. That's why I'm counting on your kindness and honesty to help me uncover the truth about what's really going on here.

02/08/2024

my husband of 20 years has been acting strangely and he developed a severe drinking problem acting very narcissistic and mean to me. we have two kids together and he can’t be bothered to take care of them or spend time with them. he’s always irritated… anyway he’s been gone a lot more then usual making up reasons why he can’t be home at a certain time, turing off his phone locator and after he’s hidden his phone as of late i got on it and i found him on a gay hookup site. he’s been doing this for i don’t know how long but he’s meeting random men in bathrooms, cars, motels… i am completely in shock. he’s never been a cheater and I seriously feel so heartbroken… our kids are 3 and 6

01/08/2024

I hate to do this, I swore I would never be this person. But I was wondering if someone was willing to hit up my boyfriend and soon to be Daddy, I am currently 35 weeks pregnant and he has been becoming more and more secretive and I can't even try and ask him a simple question like how was work? & He blows up on me or starts arguments accusing me of things I am not doing. I am so confused and we used to have each other's pins to each other's phone and recently he changed his but I have been catching him going through my phone and literally every app and setting possible trying to find something, but there is nothing to find, I am a loyal woman and pregnant trying to prepare and get ready to our have our baby. I'm really hoping I'm wrong but curious if any lady would be willing to message him and send me the screenshot of convo after, I just want to see how far he is willing to take the convo, if he does engage.

31/07/2024

How can you catch a cheater if their really good at deleting messages? Need cheaters to teach my homie their tricks he's always getting played 🤔

29/07/2024

As I walked through the front door, the weight of the past 12 years crashed down on me like a tidal wave. My girlfriend and I had built a life together - a mortgage, a son, a family. But lately, I'd been sensing something was off. At first, it was just a nagging feeling, but as the days went by, it grew into a full-blown suspicion.

She'd been spending more time at her mom's place, claiming she was just dropping by or helping out with some errand. I trusted her, but my gut told me otherwise. And then came the night when she said she might stay over, but ended up not showing up at all. My son wasn't feeling well, so I asked my dad to come over and take him for a drive to clear his head.

As we drove by her mom's place, my heart sank. Her car was nowhere in sight, and the lights were out - something she never did. I called her multiple times, but all I got was excuses about her sister being asleep and not being able to talk. When I pressed her about where her car was, she went silent.

She came home late that night, claiming she'd gone for a drive by herself at 10:30 PM on a Sunday. The words hung in the air like a challenge. "You were with someone, weren't you?" I asked, my voice steady but my insides churning.

Her response was measured, calm, and completely unconvincing. She said she'd met up with an old school friend from years ago for a chat. But when I pressed her for his name, she clammed up, refusing to give me any details.

As the days went by, my world began to unravel. The trust we had built over 12 years was shattered into a million pieces. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of uncertainty and betrayal. How could she do this to us? To our son?

I knew I had to confront her again, but the thought filled me with dread. Was it even possible for things to go back to normal after this? Or were we doomed to drift apart, forever stuck in this limbo of mistrust and doubt?

As I stood there, frozen in indecision, the weight of our history bore down on me like a crushing force. What would happen next? Would she come clean and tell me the truth, or would she continue to spin this web of deceit? Only time would tell.

28/07/2024

I've been with my partner for nearly a decade, and in recent years, I've had a persistent feeling that they're being unfaithful. I've always told them that if I found out about cheating, I would leave.
I ended up bedridden for two days due to these red flags and the thought of their infidelity. When I brought it up with them, they said we needed to talk, but I had to wait till the next day. By the time we talked, they had already picked up divorce papers.
They gave me a choice: either believe their denials or leave. I felt completely gaslighted and manipulated, making me question my own sanity. They didn't have to take responsibility, but why would someone think this is acceptable behavior?

27/07/2024

She's a cheater, liar, and an abuser who uses you for her own gain. She's addicted to alcohol, drugs, and pills, and has been known to get physical when angry. Verbal and mental abuse are common in this relationship. Recently discovered she was sending nudes to someone for money to buy drugs, and would delete evidence and blame it on her sister. Men she's slept with often come to the house, and after being fired from her job, she still dresses up and leaves, disappearing for two weeks at a time. Jumps from relationship to relationship to make ends meet, without respecting boundaries or personal space. When called out on her behavior, she becomes defensive and angry, never admitting wrongdoing. Dealt with this for six years, and she's admitted to sleeping with over 200 people. If you want to keep your sanity, money, and health, and freedom, do not date or get involved with her. She has a pretty face, but that's all she has going for her.

26/07/2024

My partner and I went through a breakup three years ago for six months. During that time, we weren't together, so I saw other women. After we got back together, my partner started labeling me a cheater whenever we had arguments or disagreements that didn't involve s*x or our relationship. Whenever I try to explain and defend myself, they accuse me of being a narcissist and gaslighting them.

25/07/2024

My partner is still active on dating apps and sugar baby websites. This all started when I revealed my past infidelity during our teenage breakup. We had our first child together, worked through it, and he desired an open relationship with me. However, he only wanted an open relationship for himself. Now we have three kids and he's still engaging in the same harmful behavior. He recently paid a pr******te $2600 during Mother's Day and my daughter's fifth birthday week, revealing his insecurities and jealousy. When I was pregnant with our third child, I had to beg for any affection or love. Now it makes sense why he's so paranoid about my phone and emails, as if he's hiding something. He's a full-on narcissist who can't get a woman without paying for it. He accuses me of going through his phone and passwords when I haven't in months, displaying his manipulative tactics. When he was in school, I lent him money that I never got back, and I paid his rent when we weren't living together due to his financial struggles. I did all this to be called a lazy stay-at-home mother, but it came at the cost of my own emotional well-being.

24/07/2024

So here’s my story, I was married for 20 years, my husband was a serial cheater, we separated almost 3 years ago, I started chatting to a guy about 18 months ago from a different country, I’ve been to meet him 3 times, met all his family, he can’t come here because he needs a work visa or marriage, we video call morning noon and night, he’s talked with my family on video, I think I trust him, but because of my past I can’t give 💯💯💯 any advice 🙏 if I put a photo of him up here would it help to see if he’s chatting to anyone else… please be kind

23/07/2024

Let me save all of u so so so much of your very precious time and give you the same advice that I read but ignored but wish I would have listened to years and years ago. My husband is a cheater he always has been he always will be. And why? Because I taught him that it was okay for him to do that and he would never have to deal with any real circumstances, not from me anyway. So he continued to do it our entire 23 year marriage. But let me tell u ladies the madness for me, for my nightmare, for my stress, for my depression and everything else that has taken my soul and attention for far too long…….IT ENDS TODAY!!!!!!! U know why? Because today I crossed over an imaginary line that I will never look back at. Today I decided that I’m done. This man has done more damage then anything I can begin to explain but because I’m 🔥 ed up ima tell u some major ones. He took my career away from me which made me second guess my own abilities. He took my son’s happiness. We have 4 boys and he’s taught them to disrespect lie to and disregard women setting up their future essentially and his n mine entire lineage. And he’s taken my morals values and ability to ever trust again. I hate this man so much. And I don’t want to hate anyone. I don’t like this feeling. But I hate him and I hate myself. And unless u want to turn out exactly like me hating mfs for doing nothing but exactly wat u expected them to, then run right now. Run and don’t look back. But if u think u can fix him or scare him out of ever doing it again I’m so sorry for this but ur wrong. People today men and women are not raised the same way me and u we’re and our parents not the same as us and so on. Every generation our morals and values fall apart. We set them aside because we seen our parents do it and our children will as well. That’s why old ppl are always considers “old fashioned”. The y should be called better made. They have the ability to use empathy, something we lose each time. And they understand words like commitment and bond and vows. Everyone is so worried about doing things faster and faster that we pay less attention to those things. We stare more at our phones than we do our kids. We fight more than we play. We worry too much about likes then we do patience and happiness. wtf happened to us. Social media makes it so easy for everyone to ignore real life and be excited by fake s**t!!!!! Everyone today runs their mouth so easily online because they don’t know wat it feels like to actually get socked in the mouth like my generation would say. But we should be wondering is why are we wanting and willing to hurt someone else at all. I think it’s because no one in this world knows how to communicate with eachother. We should be able to communicate without arguing and disagree as well. We don’t tell our partner hey I want this or I like this or hate that we’d rather just fake it to make it and the snowball begins. One lie turns to another and another. And then when u find out about those lies ur enraged and need revenge so u go out and do the same and so the snow ball continues. We are all a bunch of fake mfs walking around faking it to other fakers. It’s sick. It’s sick we would rather spare feelings and time then to just communicate to eachother!!!!! I said my husband took my morals and values in the beginning….. I said that because I let myself need revenge so badly that I lowered myself to his level and did the exact same thing he did to me. I let someone else get in my head and control my thoughts and worse my actions and I became the cheater and liar like him and look here I am spilling my guts to u. And what now of my kids. What have I taught them. Even if I only put up with it I still taught them that it’s okay to disregard someone simply because I tolerated it. Well no more. Like I said I’m done and this s**t show ends today!!!!! I’m taking back wats mine and I’m gonna do wats right. I’m hoping someone reads this and takes my advice and does what needs to be done before they end up like me. I hope this helps someone somewhere. And ur not looking back at 20 or 30 years wondering what all has it ruined. Because I promise u, it affects more then you and u may think ur the only one sacrificing but you couldn’t be more wrong. It’s too late for me to fix all of the damage I’ve allowed and done myself but it might not be for you. Put yourself first for once!! Love urself more then wat u do them and maybe u can save wats left. I hope anyway

20/07/2024

It's been about 10 months since I discovered that my husband was cheating on me. In hindsight, I knew something wasn't right, but I needed concrete proof before I could process it all. When I finally got the truth, I felt devastated and hurt. Seeing the pictures and reading the texts was like a punch to the gut.

My husband and I have been married for over 20 years, and we have three beautiful kids together. At first, I wanted to kick him out, but my kids begged me to give him another chance. I've been trying to cope with this betrayal, and it's been an emotional rollercoaster. Some days are better than others, but the pain still lingers.

I find myself constantly thinking about the situation, and sometimes that means stalking his mistress's social media accounts. It's not healthy, but I can't seem to help myself. When I confronted her on the phone, she hung up on me and blocked me. My husband said she knew about me, which only added to my frustration.

It's hard for me to let go of this pain, especially when I see his mistress out living her life without a care in the world. She's still married, by the way, with a divorce that's been pending for years. It seems like she's getting away with it all while I'm left to pick up the pieces.

I know that holding onto anger and resentment won't help me heal, but it's hard not to feel bitter when I see her moving on without a care. Her daughter, who is in her mid-20s, has also been affected by their situation, with three kids from different fathers. She often posts about cheaters and hoes online, which only makes me want to confront his mistress even more.

But deep down, I know that's not the right thing to do. Instead, I'm trying to focus on my own healing and personal growth. If you have any advice or words of encouragement, please share them with me!

Hmong Men Talk