The Azyr Weekly

07/01/2024

Nagash has rejected the early buzz surrounding the return of the Tomb Kings, accusing them of ruining the aesthetic quality he has recently cultivated amongst his undead legions.

“The Supreme Necromancer has poured an immense amount of time and energy into making undead constructs look the best they possibly can,” explained Nagash’s spokesliche Arkhan the Black. “These so-called Tomb Kings appearing with fists larger than their skulls and horses with prominent bone-tails makes a laughing-stock of all of Death.”

Some individuals have attempted to defend the Tomb Kings’ appearance, arguing that they are a product of their time and possess a certain ‘retro charm’. Nagash’s supporters are unconvinced, insisting that being dead is not an excuse to ignore the latest fashion trends.

We sought comment from Settra, leader of the Tomb Kings, but he was not willing to provide any comment. At the first mention of Nagash’s name he began violently attacking our journalist, bellowing at his attendants to “release the scarabs”. We will bring you an update on the journalist's medical condition shortly.

Nagash has rejected the early buzz surrounding the return of the Tomb Kings, accusing them of ruining the aesthetic quality he has recently cultivated amongst his undead legions. “The Supreme Necro…

01/06/2023

For four years, on the dot in fact, the Azyr Weekly has been publishing the news once a week, every week. We are 47,000 words in, and with 231 articles published. As a person who is chronically prone to leaving projects half-completed this has been a noteworthy achievement! However as time has gone on things have started to slip. Articles have started being published later and later in the week, and over the past month I have even done the unthinkable and skipped a week or two!...

For four years, on the dot in fact, the Azyr Weekly has been publishing the news once a week, every week. We are 47,000 words in, and with 231 articles published. As a person who is chronically pro…

03/05/2023

Recent rumours of an Old World revival have taken the Mortal Realms by storm. Chivalrous knights in particular have been inspired by the news but, due to a series of unfortunate miscommunications, the rumours have been wildly misinterpreted by the Flesh-eater Courts, who have begun to rank up like the mighty armies of yore.

Recent rumours of an Old World revival have taken the Mortal Realms by storm. Chivalrous knights in particular have been inspired by the news but, due to a series of unfortunate miscommunications, …

26/04/2023

Some time has passed since Nagash purchased Skaven communication medium Squeekr after an ill-advised boast, but time has not made him wiser. The Supreme Necromancer has continued to make error after error as he attempts to navigate Squeekr's twisted warrens.

Some time has passed since Nagash purchased Skaven communication medium Squeekr after an ill-advised boast, but time has not made him wiser. The Supreme Necromancer has continued to make error afte…

19/04/2023

Health-conscious shoppers are being encouraged to exercise due diligence when doing their weekly shop. In particular, people are being urged to avoid a new range of yoghurt, named Bloab's Best, which despite promising numerous health benefits has been determined to deliver anything but.

"The marketing isn't deceitful in the strictest sense," admitted an official in the know. "So long as you are happy identifying some frankly devastating diarrhea as a sign of a 'super-charged digestive system'."

Health-conscious shoppers are being encouraged to exercise due diligence when doing their weekly shop. In particular, people are being urged to avoid a new range of yoghurt, named Bloab’s Bes…

12/04/2023

It has been a rough week for bookstores in the wake of Sigmar's most recent proclamation. Now that wizards are forbidden from carrying Arcane Tomes there has been a surge of attempted returns, and not all stores are handling it well. "I dunno what I'm gonna do with all dis stock," complained Gragnok Leafturner, orruk bookseller. "None of my tribe can even read."

It has been a rough week for bookstores in the wake of Sigmar’s most recent proclamation. Now that wizards are forbidden from carrying Arcane Tomes there has been a surge of attempted returns…

05/04/2023

Stormcast Eternals given participation medals after battle

Despite a devastating defeat at the Battle of Battered Roofs, the Hammers of Sigmar have recently performed a victory parade through Azyrheim. The ceremony concluded with a speech by Sigmar praisin…

31/03/2023

We're trying something new at the Azyr Weekly. Let us know your thoughts and if you would like to see more of it!

Tell us what you think! Have you got any questions that need answering?Twitter: : Azyr Weekly

22/03/2023

Khorne institutes controversial blood offering guidelines

After aeons of caring not from whence the blood flowed, Khorne has recently announced a list of restrictions on how and from where blood should be sourced. Exalted Spokesdaemons have laid the blame…

15/03/2023

Rival Slaanesh worshippers caught in infinite temptation loop

What was originally a simple skirmish between two Slaaneshi warlords has now escalated into a conflict of apocalyptic proportions as each warrior offers and in turn immediately accepts forbidden te…

08/03/2023

Nagash demands Necromancer’s Day in wake of Women’s Day

Taking a break from his ancient grudge against Sigmar, Nagash has turned his wrath against the women of the Mortal Realms. Having been advised by Arkhan that the Realms have just celebrated a holid…

01/03/2023

After a decade of possessing well-established nomenclature, the Blood God is looking to shake things up. They have sent out a challenge to all the Realms: find a new word for Khorne to beat into the bloody ground.

After a decade of possessing well-established nomenclature, the Blood God is looking to shake things up. They have sent out a challenge to all the Realms: find a new word for Khorne to beat into th…

22/02/2023

General unable to continue day two of battles due to sore back

Despite a day full of glory and success, Sir Reginald the fabled general has been unable to continue his campaign into a second day due to an increasingly sore back. “I’m not as spry as I used to b…

15/02/2023

The animal right's group RUFF (Realm-wide Union for Feral Friends) has today issued a reminder to the Deepkin enclaves in the wake of increasing rates of Leviadon abandonment.

The animal right’s group RUFF (Realm-wide Union for Feral Friends) has today issued a reminder to the Deepkin enclaves in the wake of increasing rates of Leviadon abandonment. “Every ae…

08/02/2023

It has been a busy week in Skrappa Spill as hundreds of hopeful young grots register to take the tests to enter the prestigious Smart'nz Akademy - the first step in becoming a fully registered gobbapallozee.

It has been a busy week in Skrappa Spill as hundreds of hopeful young grots register to take the tests to enter the prestigious Smart’nz Akademy – the first step in becoming a fully reg…

01/02/2023

After years of affordable living in the wild places of the Realms, not even the Beasts of Chaos have proven immune to market forces. The rising costs of building materials have put forested areas at a premium, forcing herds to downsize purely to keep the rent affordable.

After years of affordable living in the wild places of the Realms, not even the Beasts of Chaos have proven immune to market forces. The rising costs of building materials have put forested areas a…

25/01/2023

Skaven engineers raise concerns over peak warpstone

A pack of Warlock-Engineers have raised concerns in Blight City about the potentially limited nature of warpstone, the resource upon which the entire Skaven civilisation is founded. Previously cons…

18/01/2023

“These banners they’re handing out nowadays are terrific,” commented Irla Stabdoer, Chaos Warrior.

The most recent survey of the Chaos workforce has just been published, presenting a series of interesting results that the Everchosen has been keen to publicise. The most striking finding has been …

04/01/2023

It was a quiet year for Reginald the Oblique, famed Freeguild general. However he has vowed to set the new year off with a bang, submitting a requisition order for "whatever soldiers you have spare at the moment", and receiving them at a significant discount.

It was a quiet year for Reginald the Oblique, famed Freeguild general. However he has vowed to set the new year off with a bang, submitting a requisition order for “whatever soldiers you have…

28/12/2022

News of updated rules of war are spreading quickly throughout the Realms, generals delighted with the opportunity to revisit old strategies and discover new ones. However none are glader than the humble foot hero, who are anticipating an entirely new lease on life.

News of updated rules of war are spreading quickly throughout the Realms, generals delighted with the opportunity to revisit old strategies and discover new ones. However none are glader than the h…

21/12/2022

The feud between Sigmar and Nagash has continued this past week, with Nagash revealing what he claims is the next step in soul engineering. He has faced quick and violent backlash however as adversaries point out he has simply colour shifted a Stormcast Eternal.

The feud between Sigmar and Nagash has continued this past week, with Nagash revealing what he claims is the next step in soul engineering. He has faced quick and violent backlash however as advers…

14/12/2022

What is a king without his throne? This is a question that plagues all members of the Flesh-eater Courts, and it is a widely held belief that a Ghoul King cannot truly claim the title until he has carved himself his own throne.

What is a king without his throne? This is a question that plagues all members of the Flesh-eater Courts, and it is a widely held belief that a Ghoul King cannot truly claim the title until he has …

07/12/2022

Neither a Beastclaw Raider nor a Gutbuster, the lonely Firebelly leads a solitary existence.

Neither a Beastclaw Raider nor a Gutbuster, the lonely Firebelly leads a solitary existence. Worshipping Gorkamorka as the Sun Eater, the Firebelly hopes to emulate his god through the consumption …

30/11/2022

We have received news from Ghur of an ogor that possesses a deeply unusual talent.

We have received news from Ghur of an ogor that possesses a deeply unusual talent. Through deep meditation and strength of will he is able to sooth his hungry nature, quiet his gut, and stand so pe…

23/11/2022

The year-long recruitment drive for the Slaves to Darkness continues apace, with the Chaos Legionnaries and Horns of Hashut recently being added to the ranks. Despite the benefits this increased ma…

16/11/2022

A technological breakthrough for the Mawtribes this week as Gutsmiths begin to remove the compressed-air canisters from their Ironblasters and replace them with packets of gunpowder. The resultant explosions are reportedly highly impressive, and have given the Mawtribes a significant advantage on the battlefield. “Don’t know why we didn’t think of it earlier,” admitted veteran Leadbelcher Hurgagg Blastguts. “Thought blackpowder was just gritty seasoning until a Gnoblar tried to toast it.”...

A technological breakthrough for the Mawtribes this week as Gutsmiths begin to remove the compressed-air canisters from their Ironblasters and replace them with packets of gunpowder. The resultant …

09/11/2022

Eternus - Blade of the First Prince, Champion of Black Lightning, Intellectual Property Thief? That is the accusation being leveled at the dark despoiler by the Knights-Solicitor of Sigmar.

Eternus – Blade of the First Prince, Champion of Black Lightning, Intellectual Property Thief? That is the accusation being leveled at the dark despoiler by the Knights-Solicitor of Sigmar. T…