Ask Dr. Chalmer

21/11/2024

25/10/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/no-good-cheating-jerk/
We’ve been getting a lot of reaction to my book Betrayal and Forgiveness. One of the common ones has been people expressing a combination of doubt and horror at the idea that someone who betrayed you was, in some way, doing the best they could. So we talk about that and related ideas.

Along the way, Judy and I talk about what happened to our son Eli, who was seriously injured in a freak climbing accident. We weren’t planning on talking about it, but it came up in the context of forgiving God when betrayals happen. How can we forgive God for that? What does that have to do with faith? Let us know your thoughts.

https://youtu.be/QQsL7evdB4o We’ve been getting a lot of reaction to my book Betrayal and Forgiveness. One of the common ones has been people expressing a combination of doubt and horror at the idea that someone who betrayed you was, in some way, doing the best they could. So we talk about that an...

18/10/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/bev-mitelman/
What is attachment style, and why is knowing your own attachment style important in a relationship? Our guest in this episode is Bev Mitelman, a Certified Attachment Practitioner, who helps her clients understand their attachment styles and helps them in their journey toward a secure attachment style that facilitates better relationships.

https://youtu.be/lQnESwGo754 What is attachment style, and why is knowing your own attachment style important in a relationship? Our guest in this episode is Bev Mitelman, a Certified Attachment Practitioner, who helps her clients understand their attachment styles and helps them in their journey to...

11/10/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/steven-radowitz/
Our guest in this episode is Dr. Steven Radowitz, who is the Chief Medical Officer of a program that uses ketamine and other psychedelic therapies to treat a wide variety of issues. Dr. Radowitz tells us how he helps people with psychedelics, and how that work can benefit couples as well as individuals.

https://youtu.be/JUXsQu6aNGs Our guest in this episode is Dr. Steven Radowitz, who is the Chief Medical Officer of a program that uses ketamine and other psychedelic therapies to treat a wide variety of issues. Dr. Radowitz tells us how he helps people with psychedelics, and how that work can benefi...

07/10/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/i-was-livestreamed-in-india-on-the-kaj-masterclass-show/
I was interviewed by Khudania Ajay on his “KAJ Masterclass” livestream about my book Betrayal and Forgiveness. Ajay is in New Delhi, India, and his show goes out from there to India and the world.

Thanks, Ajay, for a great conversation!

I was interviewed by Khudania Ajay on his “KAJ Masterclass” livestream about my book Betrayal and Forgiveness. Ajay is in New Delhi, India, and his show goes out from there to India and the world. Thanks, Ajay, for a great conversation! More info about my book Betrayal and Forgiveness is at this...

06/10/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/dr-chalmer-on-dawnversations/
I was interviewed by Dawn Wecker on her Dawnversations Podcast about my book "Betrayal and Forgiveness." We bust come common myths about betrayal and how to heal from it.

Thanks, Dawn, for a great conversation!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kBc6sr1J8Q I was interviewed by Dawn Wecker on her “Dawnversations” podcast about my book Betrayal and Forgiveness. We bust some common myths about betrayal and how to heal from it. Thanks, Dawn, for a great conversation! More info about my book Betrayal and Forg...

30/09/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/robert-j-hunt/
What is accountability, and why is it important both in work relationships and in couples? Our guest in this episode is Robert J. Hunt, who has co-written a book about why accountability is important and how to embrace it.

https://youtu.be/pSfpjHyKMgQ What is accountability, and why is it important both in work relationships and in couples? Our guest in this episode is Robert J. Hunt, who has co-written a book about why accountability is important and how to embrace it. Robert’s website is https://nobodycaresbook.co...

20/09/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/catherine-auman/
What is ta**ra? How can physical intimacy be a spiritual experience, more than simply a way to give and receive pleasure? What is transpersonal psychology, and how does it differ from traditional psychology? Our guest in this episode, Catherine Auman, is a psychotherapist with advanced training in both traditional and spiritual psychology, and we discuss those topics and more.

https://youtu.be/7BRJmJUJMts What is ta**ra? How can s*x be a spiritual experience, more than simply a way to give and receive pleasure? What is transpersonal psychology, and how does it differ from traditional psychology? Our guest in this episode, Catherine Auman, is a psychotherapist with advance...

13/09/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/anneke-elmhirst/
Interested in the possibilities of polyamory? What are those possibilities? What can go wrong? Our guest in this episode, Anneke Elmhirst, helps people explore those questions. Polyamorous herself, Anneke talks about how she works with people to help them discover their own path.

We also talk with Anneke about her experiences as a behavioral analyst with neurodivergent kids, and why she ultimately decided to leave that field because she recognized her own moral and ethical standards weren’t consistent with that work.

11/09/2024

Reminder: I'll be at Barnes & Noble Books in South Burlington this Sunday 9/15 from 12:30 to 2:00pm, signing books. Come, shmooze, and check out my books! And thanks to B&N (especially Sebastian Ryder) for supporting local authors!

Send a message to learn more

23/08/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/cant-be-intimate-and-freaked-out/
What single ability solves all relationship problems? What does that have to do with intimacy and couple relationships? And how does that relate to politics? In this episode, we (Bruce and Judy) reveal it all—an ability that anyone who’s listening to a podcast—that’s you!—already has.

https://youtu.be/L8U2mnClQcA What single ability solves all relationship problems? What does that have to do with intimacy and couple relationships? And how does that relate to politics? In this episode, we (Bruce and Judy) reveal it all—an ability that anyone who’s listening to a podcast—that...

16/08/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/joshua-coleman/
Are you estranged from a family member? About a quarter of Americans are. Maybe you’re cut off from a parent or adult child or sibling. The one universal about estrangement is that it’s painful. And it’s on the rise.

Our guest for this episode is Dr. Joshua Coleman. He’s been through it himself, and has become a world-class expert on the phenomenon of estrangement. We talk with Dr. Coleman about how estrangement happens, why it’s happening more frequently these days, and what you can do about it.

https://youtu.be/hHFKMASVgG8 Are you estranged from a family member? About a quarter of Americans are. Maybe you’re cut off from a parent or adult child or sibling. The one universal about estrangement is that it’s painful. And it’s on the rise. Our guest for this episode is Dr. Joshua Coleman...

09/08/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/paula-cope/
How can a sixteen-year-old manage to survive, and even thrive, after her mother abandoned her leaving no other adults to care for her? And can you forgive a mother who did that? Our guest in this episode, Paula Cope, shares her story with us. Warning—have tissues handy!

https://youtu.be/ul2DSNx1kRM How can a sixteen-year-old manage to survive, and even thrive, after her mother abandoned her leaving no other adults to care for her? And can you forgive a mother who did that? Our guest in this episode, Paula Cope, shares her story with us. Warning—have tissues handy...

05/08/2024

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/08/05/opinion/death-penalty-louisiana.html
An amazing story of forgiveness. I was particularly moved by Brett Malone's recognition that executing Jeremiah Manning not only wouldn't help heal Brett's family--it would also cause irreparable harm to Jeremiah's family. Healing is about repair, not more damage.

We’re good at convicting and punishing people, but we need to learn how to forgive.

02/08/2024

https://brucechalmer.com/my-sister-stole-my-boyfriend/
Betrayal, cutoff, and decades of family drama. How would you handle it if your sister stole your boyfriend and then went on to marry him?

Now it’s 30 years later, and you’ve been in therapy, and you see things a lot differently. You want to reconcile with your sister, but she’s having none of it. What do you do?

Judy and I (Bruce) have very different gut feelings about how to handle this. What do you think?

https://youtu.be/CNrvArTcAy8 Betrayal, cutoff, and decades of family drama. How would you handle it if your sister stole your boyfriend and then went on to marry him? Now it’s 30 years later, and you’ve been in therapy, and you see things a lot differently. You want to reconcile with your sister...

01/08/2024

https://shop.ingramspark.com/b/084?m9grJ1bASxITpA7Di7mjVTmcxM4RX5HJYHYNM6CnW6I
Just set up my website to allow for direct sale of the paperback of my new book. In honor of that, I'm offering $5 off the retail price for a limited time. So check out the link above!

And if you're looking for the ebook or audiobook, go to https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D4B6KL79.

Thanks to all of you who have posted reviews!

26/07/2024

Temple Sinai Vermont is honoring Dr. Mark and Nancy Levine this evening, so I'm reposting the Couples Therapy in Seven Words podcast interview we did with Mark and Nancy back in 2021. Check it out, and come to temple tonight to show them your appreciation!

Dr. Mark Levine is the Commissioner of Health of the State of Vermont, and the pandemic has made him the greatest rock star from Vermont since Phish. We interview Mark and his wife Nancy about their life in the spotlight, the effects of the pandemic on couples, and the outlook for the coming months....